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Wedensday Martin: New Year's Resolutions for Stepparents

Pilgrim Soul's picture

Submitted by Pilgrim Soul on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 2:50pm

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General Discussion

Resolved: in 2013, we must reject the Big Lies about stepfamily life.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/stepmonster/201301/new-year-surprisi...

What do you think, guys?

Starla's picture

Submitted by Starla on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 3:30pm

The final piece to the puzzle, I love it!!!

Had no idea about the depression part but it does make sense.

New second wife-step-mom's picture

Submitted by New second wife... on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 4:06pm

Point one: Step Back - let the child have as much alone time as he needs to spend with his dad.

Well, I DO NOT agree with this. If that was correct most of us would just have to step back and step out. Some Skids would definitely take advantage of this.

Shaman29's picture

Submitted by Shaman29 on Mon, 01/14/2013 - 4:42pm

I don't believe that's what she meant.

The biggest error I think new SM's make is jumping in with both feet, instead of testing the waters instead.

Now I was still in the water testing phase the first year or so I was with DH. My error came when DH's kid came to live with us. DH assumed this was okay with me (he never asked me my opinion). Then he starting putting mommy tasks on my shoulders, which I stupidly accepted because I assumed that's what I was supposed to do.

I have a feeling I would have been much better off if I stuck to my guns, spoke up with DH and explained it's not my job to be her mommy.

Now I do everything I can to get out of doing family things. DH and his kid need their one on one time and I need peace and quiet.