Violation of CO or Kidnapping or Both?
So BM requested an out of state vacation with SD which my fiance denied for a variety of reasons, one of which is that it is for more than the allowed 7 days. The request and the denial is clearly tracked on OFW.
BM has not removed the vacation from the calendar nor has she responded to the denial (but we have the read receipt that she got the message wherein my fiance denied it).
If she chooses to take SD anyway, its obviously a violation of the parenting plan. But is it also considered kidnapping?
What would be the best action for my fiance to take? Contact the authorities here when he goes to pick up SD for vacation and she cant be produced because she's away? Contact the authorities where BM will be taking SD to have SD sent back and/or BM arrested?
As much as I would love to
As much as I would love to say it is kidnapping, it probably isn't. Either way I would report a kidnapping the second you can confirm that BM took the Skid out of state.
What would be fun would be
What would be fun would be for DH to show up at BMs vacation spot and get his kid as sheduled then vacation there. }:)
Ha!
Yeah, violation of the CO,
Yeah, violation of the CO, but not kidnapping. I wouldn't call the police and report a "kidnapping" either - can you even imagine the damage that could to if the police came and arrested her mom in front of her? Depending on her age, that might be one of those things that permanently damages her relationship with her *father* - and even if not, it'd be traumatic for the kid. Why do that to her over a stupid vacation?
it is our belief that SD13 is
it is our belief that SD13 is fully aware of what BM is trying to do with regard to this vacation because SD has bragged abotu going on the vacation on her Twitter account but has not mentioned one word to my fiance about it and she has been on super good behavior (well at least for her, its still not up to par). Every other trip she has taken she's chatted openly and freely about it and expressed her excitement (and its never been denied because its been within the appropriate parameters).
so honestly seeing her mom get into some trouble over it might send a good message to SD that no one is above the law and that court orders and the like need to be respected. she's already seen the police at her home several times for her refusal to come on visitation and her mother's refusal to send her. so its nothing new.
everything has been too quiet about this AND we have received no court filings or lawyer letters - probably because her lawyer as told her that the denial is fully justified and wihin my fiance's rights.
HRNYC, i like the idea of a certified letter.
neither of us suggested
neither of us suggested filing a kidnapping charge. he is simply trying to find otu what his options are if she simply decides to take his child without authorization. pretty simple and reasonable question.
BM is the CP. she and my
BM is the CP. she and my fiance (NCP) each get to keep SD for two, 7-day stretch, non-consecutive weeks in the summer months.
yup. she gets 2 weekends per
yup. she gets 2 weekends per month and picks one of the 2 that are HIS to request vacation which again is against teh plan unless she gives him another weekend but he has to agree. the other weekend is BM's birthday weekend so we cant have her that weekend (why they arent taking the vaca over BM's birthday weekend is baffling in and of itself) and the other weekend is already our weekend as its a "special event" - my fiance's birthday. so no weekends can be traded so it would be 3 weekeneds in a row without him seeing her with no opportunity for a swap.
Not necessaarily. I only got
Not necessaarily. I only got two weeks as the CP, non-consecutive.
But if Dad knows where they will be? It is hardly kidnapping.
she's not happy with her
she's not happy with her father anyway, due to extreme PAS by BM.
she actually cant do anything
she actually cant do anything on her own nor can her mother. they are both morons.
she's allowed vacations for
she's allowed vacations for up to one week/7 days. she wants 10. she also for some reason scheduled the 10 days to go tuesday to thursday with the weekend being my fiance's weekend rather than her own weekend - another violation as he would then have 3 weekends in a row without seeing his daughter.
there are also some other psychological concerns with regard to both BM and SD.
considering BM's life is one
considering BM's life is one big vacation its hardly short. and when they were married vacations were always one week because my fiance cant be away from work longer than that.
and regardless, BM agreed to these terms in the CO. if she wanted to request longer periods, i guarantee you my fiance probably would have agreed.
fiance has been advised by
fiance has been advised by his ATTORNEY to always contact the police when his daughter is not produced at the designated time in order to DOCUMENT the contempt. at no time have we ever expected teh police to intervene in terms of enforcing visitation - they cant.
teh second part of my question might be relative if it was indeed a kidnapping situation. in a kidnapping situation, police could intervene because kidnapping is a CRIMINAL not CIVIL offense.
the judge as already ruled
the judge as already ruled that until she is 18, teh child has NO SAY in visitation or the parenting plan. she was DENIED a GAL and DENIED her own attorney.
it is not just a matter of
it is not just a matter of her going out of state. its going out of state on an airplane. he has allowed her to take out of state car trips, no issue.
there are serious, genuine concerns with regard to BM's psychological state with regard to travel, particularly travel that involves an airplane. she has had meltdowns at the airport in the past. SD13 also manifests this fear because of her mother and is quite likely to also have meltdown if she goes on a plane.
Let the kid go. It's summer,
Let the kid go. It's summer, the kids are bored. Daddy will come off as a ogre.
dad is at a point where he
dad is at a point where he doesnt care.
oh she wants SD 24/7 and
oh she wants SD 24/7 and would be happy if my fiance dropped off the planet and was out of her life entirely (of course as long as the exhorbitant CS still arrived every month).
she is one of those moms who thinks that her husband had absolutely no involvement whatsoever in the creation of her child.
I certainly think you should
I certainly think you should call the police and document the violation of the court order, especially if the lawyer recommends it! And I don't think you'd be at all wrong to do so.
That being said, your mention of kidnapping and having BM arrested is over the top, and that's what's setting people off. That reads way too much like "how can we hurt this woman" instead of "how can we prevent her from hurting us". The second one people tend to support wholeheartedly, but the first gets some backlash.
i honestly only mentioned the
i honestly only mentioned the kidnapping since you do read ALL THE TIME about children being kidnapped by the a parent (usually the NCP). granted, in those instances they are usually missing.
my fiance also wanted to find out what rights he may have since he has been denied visitations before and nothing happens. in this instance he may have had something more to stand on where BM is violating numerous portions of the CO.
some of you know some of the history here which as we know history always puts things into perspective. this is a BM who has done EVERYTHING to try and keep SD away from her father. and for no reason. he has never laid a hand on her or BM, has a stable job that he has steadily excelled at and been promoted within the organization, he has always paid CS on time and in full, and back when he left the house he actually opened and account and gave BM a good chunk of money and faithfully sent CS long before the court ordered him to do so. he is not a bad father or a horrible ex in those aspects. she has no reason to deny him time other than she simply is bitter, angry and wants SD all to herself.
my fiance is tired. tired of fighting for what's his. tired of BM doing whatever she wants and never being punished by the courts.
well, that's in part what
well, that's in part what he's done. CO says vacations are 7 days. CO says he cant go 3 weekends in a row without seeing his daughter. CO says for either parent to take the child out of state they need approval of the other.
the problem is BM, as she has so often, will do whatever she wants. we want to know what his rights/options are.
I know in my state you can
I know in my state you can file for a motion to enforce visitation if you are the NCP. Maybe you guys can look into that?