Vacation Plan Notifications

Forums:

DH wrote this email to BM:

"BM - I am writing to inform you I will be taking the kids on a vacation out of town on August 3 through August 7. We will be staying at [insert condo address]. I do not have a phone number for the condo, but will have my cell phone with me for the duration of the trip.

Please be advised that day care is still due for that week in the full amount since the girls will be attending a partial week. You are welcome to confirm this directly with the day care."

Her response:

"There's no discount for this week at day care even though the girls won't be attending? Will this trip be out of state? Are you staying overnight?"

Soo .. he gave the address, which clearly is not out of state .. just a condo down at the beach. He gave the dates, clearly indicating we'd be staying overnight. And the girls will be attending day care that Thursday and Friday .. August 7 (the day we return) is a Wednesday.

He's not responding to her email .. but this is the kind of crap we get .. clearly her primary concern is the money; forget the fact that the kids are super excited to be going to the beach.

Honestly? This is not

Honestly? This is not something to get worked up over. He responds that the condo is in-state, that yes it is overnight, and that no there is no break on daycare. Provides the number (I know she has it) and reiterates that she can confirm that.

Seriously not a hill to die on.

Yup .. pretty much

Oh I absolutely agree. We're

Oh I absolutely agree. We're not fighting or arguing with her over any of it. She has all the info she needs .. another reply isn't necessary.

This is just the same crap we've been dealing with ad naseum all summer. It's heating up more because there is a change order in the works and BM doesn't like the way it's shaping up for her so far.

That's all she wants. She

That's all she wants. She sent a one-line email Friday afternoon asking him "So is it safe to say that you are going to reject my request of modifying the weekend rotation?"

She's talking about the change order .. she's trying to limit DH's visitation to every other weekend all year. Of course he's not going to agree, but we have yet to hear anything from her attorney about proposed changes to the order. So no, he's not agreeing. When he didn't respond, this was the email she sent:

"You did NOT use the proper legal chain you handed me a change request and expected me to just sign it. You did not submitt it to be served to me or went thru the appropriate course of legal action you did what was easy for you. I have the right to seek legal councel and have the document reviewed with all parties concerned ensuring that the changes we put in place will sufice for the next 4 years while I am stationed in MD. So that we do not have keep going back and fourth thru the court system. Remeber you voluntarily destroyed the family unit we had, placing us in some of these difficult situations with times and locations. It s our job now as the parents to ALWAYS put the girls first not what is convient for us or to argue over and change or locations. We should be getting along for the better of our girls. That does not mean one always giving into the other but coming up with comprimise that will suit both of us plus meeting the needs of our girls. I am done arguing with you over this."

She's referencing so many past emails all at once, that it's hard to really explain. But basically, they discussed the terms of the new change order back in March. He had it drawn up by his attorney and hand-delivered it to her in TX when we visited the girls. He didn't have her served .. why would he? Also, she didn't have an attorney on retainer the entire time she was in TX, so there was no negotiations between lawyers. So I guess because of all that, she feels justified in dragging her feet and not having her attorney respond to DH's? You got me .. no idea what the point/purpose of this email was.

LOL, I know right? "I'm

LOL, I know right?

"I'm done arguing over this"

Arguing with who, exactly? Yourself? Have fun with that, BM ..

and don't forget the 'its all

and don't forget the 'its all your fault. we need to get along for the kids' PUKE!

DH gave up discussing that

DH gave up discussing that type of stuff ages ago. Yes, he left her. Yes, he decided to break up the family unit. Let's just ignore the why .. you know, the fact that BM was sleeping around with just about her entire ship (earning the title of "boat ho") and bringing home multiple STDs to DH.

But really .. at the end of the day, it was all DH's fault they got a divorce because HE'S the one who left. (PS .. we REALLY need an eyeroll emoticon!)

And since HE left .. BM is by default the gatekeeper of the children, deciding when and how often he is permitted to HER children :sick:

See, I'm looking at it fro

See, I'm looking at it fro the OTHER side. When I've gotten those same emails from my ex-husband. What does it cost me to just repeat myself? All digging my feet in the ground does is make me no better than him. Kill her/him with kindness.

I understand where you're

I understand where you're coming from.

One more response will lead to more questions .. all of which will be posed as "nice" and "innocent inquiries". Before you know it, she'll be asking for a play by play of all plans for everyday during the entire trip. It has happened before.

The sooner we cut it off, the less back and forth we have to deal with. The longer it goes on, the more pissed off she becomes when we actually do stop replying.

It would also be a lot different if she ever gave us the same courtesy, in which case, a friendly response/reminder would probably be warranted.