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Teaching Responsibility

my.kids.mom's picture

Submitted by my.kids.mom on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 10:09pm

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So bf took my son when he went to get his kids tonight. Should've been back by 8:30 but they didn't come in til 9. AGAIN one of his daughters left her homework at his place, so he had to drive ALL the way back to get it for her after he already got to the bm's.

He says, "I told her, 'here is your homework. It is finished, do not leave it when we go." On PURPOSE so she would get the hint. So she forgot it.

AND?!

"Well, for everyday it is late..."

AND?!

"...she will have to pull a color..."

AND?!

"and she won't see me until Saturday and she will have a red card by then..."

WHICH APPARENTLY MEANS THE WORLD IS GOING TO END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG we have gone over and over and over this. If they leave their homework, let them have the consequence!! How difficult is that?! Would she ever have forgotten it again? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

But instead he is going to ground her from x, y, z...over a week after the incident. Yeah. We'll see.

Ommy's picture

Submitted by Ommy on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 10:45pm

Really. We went though this with our BM. She pitched a fit and that got FSD5 up set. So FDH said he would take it to the school personally. We he went and taked to her teacher and guess what she would have understood and would have let it go. It is divorce it happens two homes. Have ur SO call the school and talk to the teacher directly. My FDH got the fax number for the office now we call and say the homework was left it has been faxed. BMs make a mountain out of an ant hill

my.kids.mom's picture

Submitted by my.kids.mom on Tue, 01/10/2012 - 11:51pm

Yeah, they are in the middle of court crap and he knows what the right thing to do is, but you never know what the judge will think or say about it if bm is like, "He doesn't care about the kids...he wouldn't bring their homework when they left it at his house..." Same thing with a coat that was left that he KNEW was getting left. Then bm pulled her crap and he bought into it. AGAIN. And the child had another coat at her house...it was all about the power trip. When my kids were in public school, I *told* my daughter's teacher that I was not going to be nagging her about her work in the mornings, so if she did not have it, it's probably sitting on the table. She was really glad bc she had an older son and she saw so many kids who didn't learn responsibility early on with the little things, when the consequences were minor. Single parents can't always have the time/energy to make sure kids have everything they need every second of the day! Like I tell my kids, I have a lot of things to take care of, they need to take care of what they can. But I wish bf realized what a turn off it is for him to behave that way. Not to mention it took away 30 mins of our time together driving back and forth. AGAIN.

my.kids.mom's picture

Submitted by my.kids.mom on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 10:26am

When the other daughter left her homework on a Sunday, he was going to see her on that Tues so he told bm that he would bring it then and refused to bring it. So the bm had her dad come get it!!! But this time bc his Little Princess would have had a more severe consequence bc he wouldn't see her until Sat. he couldn't let THAT happen. I wish I had pointed that out last night...the one he CONSTANTLY favors, he brings the homework...the other one...too bad.

I take any opportunity I can to embrace an outside consequence bc I don't always want to be the bad guy. And because it's called the real world. You mess up, you have a consequence. He has his place pretty organized. I would bet he even knew she was leaving it there and was trying to teach her a lesson, but then he caved after the fact. The thing is, once you tell your kid "this is your responsibility to remember" and they don't, and then you cover for them, they have learned nothing except that Mommy or Daddy will fix it.