Teachers/school staff others...What happens “legally” if kid refuses to go to school????
In my Previous posts I talked about how SD14 refuses to attend school or do any work remotely. Basically in the last month SD14 has done NOTHING regarding school. DH does not have Custody only visitation so there is little Legally he can do. There has been many phone calls to the Guidance counselor and a school meeting but basically nothing been done. BM refuses to force SD to school as SD can get violent and is bigger than BM. SD14 Psychiatrist has told BM if SD becomes violent to call 911 but BM flatly told the Psychiatrist that would traumatize SD and BM won't do it.
So here is my question. In my state kids Legally need to attend school till they are 16. SD is only 14. At what point would the school step in and report to someone(CPS, family court???) that SD14 is refusing to attend school?? How does this work if the parent who has full Custody can't get child to attend school and refuses to force them?
It really depends on your
It really depends on your state/area laws. Here, there are no truancy laws that hold parents accountable for getting kids to school, in other states there are. Here, they would flood the family with services to help SD with mental health issues and CPS would only get involved if BM refused to agree to those services. CPS here recognizes that parents can't drag teens to school, so only expect parents to do everything in their power to help address the issues that keep SD from school.
Since she does have documented mental health issues, she would not be considered "truant" and held accountable herself. Though again, here, there are no real consequences for kids missing school.
All your DH can do is participate in any recommended services. Unless he wants to go to court and try to get custody. I hope not.
That’s the day I move out if he wants full Custody
Thankfully BM would not want to give up her child support payments so very unlikely.
So in our state it just states kids must attend school till 16. Does not say what they do if the kid does not. SD already has a therapist so not sure what over "Services" the school/state could offer to help SD get back to school. BM already tried a private tutor and SD refused to work with them. BM tired homeschooling but SD refuses to do ANY school work. So if the school/CPS/ family court can't force SD back to school or Legally go after BM then what? Nothing? SD is only in 8th grade so I would think basically something would have to be done.What happened to no child left behind? I was hoping CPS/family court would get involved and force SD into a group home or something.
In my state there are home
In my state there are home-based services they would put in place for SD. Your state might push kids to Family Court, I don't know.
We have truancy laws and
We have truancy laws and courts get involved. In your case If she has health issues doctor could get her "attendance waver" and nothing could be done then.
Why doesn't dad share custody?
Even with a “attendance waver” I would think SD would still need
To do school work at home which she is not.
Why does DH not share legal custody? Good story but I'll keep it short. DH DID share legal custody till BM got pissed because DH would not let her Dictate how he ran his home. Crazy right?? Well BM has a brother that is a judge in family court so BM had inside help. After DH agreed to go to "family therapy" with BM and DH saw BM just used "therapy" to complain about DH and that nothing is ever BM fault DH stopped going. Family court viewed this as DH not willing to co-parent so they gave full custody to BM
With attendance waver you
With attendance waver you aren't going to be penalized for missing school, but to get a passing grade you have to do the work and get a passing grade in class. I am just saying legally they can't get her in trouble and truancy laws won't apply if her doctor signs a "waver". But she won't pass classes. Well, not passing classes and failing school isn't against the law. She just won't get high school diploma and eventually age out. She'd have to do GED or live without diploma.
Right. When a kid has mental
Right. When a kid has mental health issues, they don't always see it as being "bad" and truant. They see it a medical issue.
Call the truancy office for
Call the truancy office for SD-14's school district and get the law involved. She can drop out at 16 but you should be able to get LEO help to subject her to abject misery and a Judge climbing her ass until then. When she drops out at 16... time to file an early emancipation motion to force her into self supporting adulthood.
I have zero tolerance for this kind of crap and even less tolerance for parents who would tolerate and not bring the full force of the system down on a willfully idiotic kid's head.
If a kid in my care pulled this crap... 7:00AM out the door to the back yard with a bottle of water and a peanut butter sandwich and they sit there until the time school would usually get out. If you are not in class, either at school or on-line at home during usual and customary school hours, your ass is sitting in the back yard hot and sweaty or cold and shivering while being slightly thirsty and hungry. Whether the school district waived attendance requirements or not.
Total and abject misery is a great motivator for behavioral change.
Now... for a kid with legitimate mental health issues..... get them help. But that does not mean that nonperformance is tolerated.
Others have good advice on
Others have good advice on the truancy issue.. I'm not really sure myself.. all I know is my YSD almost didn't graduate due to missed unexcused absences one year (mommy's fault).
But... is she really incapable of attending school due to documented mental health issues?
Even if I weren't the CP.. I would be setting some consequences for not going to school. Oh.. didn't attend school this week? No electronics. no fun.. no allowance.. no meals out.. etc.. Yeah.. not much fun to have a surly teen.. but daddy needs to do the hard things too when it comes to consequences.. whether her mother is doing all she can or not. I wouldn't give the kid a pass. Unless the child is truly mentally incapable of it. Just pure defiance would make me pretty stubborn too.
SD14 has ADHD and “mood disorders” that have her on meds
Not sure that Qualifies her for no school. Even her therapist has told BM she needs to get her back in school. The problem with DH Reinforcing Consequences is SD can and is violent. She has hit DH and thrown things an broken things when she does not get her way. DH is fearful to even lay a hand on her in fear of SD Lying about what DH did. DH will basically block her attack the best he can. SD has left marks on him. SD over heard the therapist telling BM to call 911 if SD got Violent with her and BM refused saying that's to "harsh" for poor SD. SD told DH if anyone try's and take her away she will kill them or herself. So you see we are dealing with a monster
Web cams. When SD gets
Web cams. When SD gets violent or destructive, have it on camera and make it clear that she is being constrained to prevent her hurting herself or anyone else. She can enjoy being hog tied by daddy until the padded wagon and a few LEOs show up to deal with her choice to be violent and destructive.
Regardless of how unpleasant the experience for the ill behaved kid may be, consequences and accountability have to be applied.
IMHO of course.
Good luck.
Threats of self harm or to murder someone have to be met with even more severe consequences and use of the legal and mental health system to force her to either extricate her head from her own ass or medicate her into slobbering meek compliance until she reaches adulthood or is released from being under the management of the legal and mental health authorities whichever is later.
These kind of threats are little more than bullshit manipulation IMHO. Her choices have to be forced into compliance with reasonable behavior IMHO. Wait until she spouts the "I will kill myself or anyone who tries to take me away" crap in front of a Judge who will hopefully have her jacketed, medicated, and hauled off to the lock down mental facility for a long lesson experience.
IMHO of course.
Totally 100 percent agree that these threats are Manipulation
SD is Manipulating just like BM. The other day SD started her crap with me about killing people/killing herself. I knew she was just saying this to get a reaction from me. DH was out of ear shot so I calmly told dear SD that does she really think she could over power the police and kill them?? Or be able to "kill" her self when she keeps telling people she's going to do it so they are forewarned and ready to stop her?? This is NOT the reaction she is use to getting from DH or BM. So going forward when SD starts pulling her I'm going to kill myself or others I'm going to reply back yep keep it up SD and they will be ready to prevent you. The look of Hatred on SD face is so worth it!