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StepMonster...whose read it?

notmyspawn's picture

I found a snipit of the book online. Seems like a good resource, but I have read some other books that were just lame. Looking for feedback if anyone has any. TIA!

GhostWhoCooksDinner's picture

I read it and loved it! I shared it with DH too, and it really helped him understand a real stepmom's experience. That's what I loved about it: it's real, not sugar coated or nicey-nice. It's the only stepparenting book I've read so far that really tells it like it is.

There are a few chapters on biology and evolution and how these things tie in to why stepmoms feel the way they do. They're pretty scientific and not for everyone, but are interesting, though you can skip these and still read the rest. (I read them, but I'm a total geek. LOL!)

I highly recommend it, especially if you're in a high-conflict situation, which most of us are. There's a section on DHs too, why they are the way they are (in re: guilt parenting and whatnot).

I grabbed a copy for under 10 dollars on Amazon, but I know my public library has a copy.

Sunflower1's picture

I've read it and found it to be very helpful. I read parts to BF that I felt went with our situation as well. He would get huffy and act annoyed. Then two weeks later when dealing with something it was honey, remember how the book said xyz, it makes sense!

EvilWickedSM's picture

I just recently started reading it and really have enjoyed it so far. I'm not through it yet, but it has been beneficial to me. I have also highlighted some excerpts for DH to read, to give him a better understanding.

3familiesIn1's picture

I read it, its good for validation I suppose but I didn't find it overly helpful to be honest. I felt I had already gone through a lot of the steps blindly on my own and for me, I just landed in disengagement so the book really didn't tell me anything useful other than its ok to feel the way I do - which I had long since gotten over how I feel about my skids and I don't feel guilt or need validation that its ok to not 'love' my skids like my own.

But, Its not a bad book. Many here love it and it has helped a lot of folks.

I think if the DHs and BFs would read it - it would be more beneficial, My DH didn't read it, I didn't tell him I read it - in my case, DH would just take it as a way to reinforce I hate his kids so I didn't see the point.

luchay's picture

I agree with 3fam. I read it, and it explains a lot about the why's of everyone feeling the way they do. Which was great validation.

In terms of actual helpful suggestions - not so much.

Step-Parenting by Jeanette Lofas is good and practical, and Step Coupling was a godsend.

katielee's picture

I read it and liked it a lot. But I agree I would like it a whole lot better if my DH would read it.