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SS Ended his life too

PolyMom's picture

I was in a while back after DH took his own life in January. I warned CPS to be very careful with SS14, and returning his placement to BM. He would say he loves her and can only take her in small doses.

He overdosed a week ago Sunday. She said it was intentional. She made no mention of me, SS's grandparents who took him in for 5 months last year, or my kids in his obituary, so my priest told us we would do our own prayer service for him so we can say goodbye.

Two days later, I found out my grandmother passed away. It was all too much.

Last night, BM went to the local paper, with a huge picture of SS on their main website, divulged his and SS11's full names, and DH's full name pulling a massive pity party, cause of deaths on both of them, trying to raise more than the $9000 she's already raised.

It is the most disgusting exploitation of a child I've ever seen. Were he alive, he'd be furious with her. She brought up SS11's recent tonsil removal as though that weighed as heavily on them as the rest of this. Seriously?! While close friends have advised I not read the article, and continue to stay as far away from BM as possible, I can't help but wonder, when will her madness no longer be something I have to see?

ChiefGrownup's picture

Oh, this is stomach turning on so many levels. I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself. What a dreadful time for you.

Thumper's picture

No POLY omg.

I remember your adorable husband. Enjoyed your tribute to him also. And the stories about your ss and his addiction.

This is nuts

Not surprised about the full page new article from BM and her fund raiser.

WalkOnBy's picture

OMG - what a horrible woman she is.

Also, ignore Flaming, she is yet another incarnation of someone with no manners, common sense or decorum.

Rags's picture

Life insurance does not pay for suicide within 2yrs of the policy invocation date. If her DD took her life within 2yrs of the policy initiation it is unlikely that XSIL got a penny.

CLove's picture

I am so sorry - another soul lost to addiction! May he rest in peace. And to your Grandmother as well, may she rest in peace.

secondplace's picture

So sad Polymom - it's been a really tough few months for you!

My SD18 almost joined him - last Thursday morning she took close to a three month's supply of her anti-depressants. Luckily she texted her mother an I'm sorry text and she got to the hospital in time. It was touch and go for a couple of days, but she'll be fine. I'm just worried she will try it again the next time the going gets tough.

What did your SS take and how did he get a hold of it?

Icansorelate's picture

Poly I am so sorry. That BM seems to have destroyed many lives. Take care of yourself and do not let any of this destroy yours.

IslandGal's picture

Holy hell!! I am so very sorry Poly. That woman is beyond evil and should be tortured with a million cuts until she bleeds to death.

I'm so sorry.

SMto2's picture

Oh my gosh. How awful about your SS. And I'm so very sorry about your grandmother as well. I can't imagine how you must feel. Please take care of yourself & keep as much distance as possible between you & that toxic woman. {{{HUGS}}}

Acratopotes's picture

Poly - I have no words... none at all....

just sending you strength and hugs and a shoulder to lean on, at any time Hon.....

PolyMom's picture

I drafted an email to the local paper reporter and editor:

Dear (reporter for and editor)

This is completely off the record.

I am DH's widow. I lost my husband almost three months ago, leaving me and my children completely unwelcome to attend SS14's funeral as we are no longer considered "family". I also lost my grandmother last week. I am struck with an extreme amount of grief in a very short time.

So please forgive this email. My thought process is not completely clear, and whether to send this at all is something I'm not sure is the best decision, but I have to say something.

I did not read your article all the way through, but it pushed me into a panic attack. It wasn't until someone informed me of BM's comment on the article about the failed court system did I toss and turn and finally decide to contact you directly. I'm sure BM neglected to mention several things, including the fact that she ousted SS14 in April 2015. When SS14's dad was diagnosed with cancer later that year, BM forced SS14 back to live with her after bringing him to a therapy appointment, and calling the police on him. My husband was too ill to intervene. SS14 went to his law guardian, to tell her he could no longer live with his mother. SS14 lived with us exclusively beginning November 2015, with little communication and visits with his mother. SS14's mental health issues continued to decline and whenever DH went to her for help, she refused to participate. DH had no choice but to bring SS14 to live with his grandparents last August where he remained in residence until DH's death in January. When JQ of CPS contacted me and DH's mother shortly thereafter, we advised him that SS14 would make an attempt on his own life if forced to live with BM.

DH's type of death was private, hurtful and personal. She had no right or invitation to go splattering it out for the world to see. I have two children, aged 8 and 11 who have lost the family they knew for the past 7 years; their step dad they lived with and two brothers and are now all exposed to this.

I mentioned earlier that BM made some comment (I have her blocked on Facebook) regarding the failed court system. I have done everything I can to remove this person from my life, including making the incredibly painful decision to cut ties with my step-children because it gets that bad. The amount of horror she has brought on my family for the past seven and a half years is unspeakable.

Since BM has now raised enough money to cover funeral costs, I would ask the article be removed completely, or at the very least be re-edited to remove any personal information regarding my late husband. I ask any further comments about the circumstances of DH and SS14's death cease and desist. There are plenty of videos, recorded phone calls, emails and letters that illustrate the true nature of BM, and if she continues to desecrate my husband's memory she will leave me no choice but to take action, not limited to exposing these documents.

Rags's picture

Here is hoping for a fortuitous meteor strike on BM to end the toxic manipulative exploitative madness.

My condolence again on the loss of your DH, the recent loss of your SS and now your GM. Is CPS keeping a close eye on SS-11? I certainly hope so.

The father of my college BFF killed himself. My BFF found him in the barn when he was 15. Suicide is often a family curse. In my BFF's case his family pulled me out following his wedding for a nearly all night review of the family history of suicide and asked me to keep and eye out for specific behaviors from my BFF.

Every male in his family for the previous 2 generations committed suicide. I truly hope that SS-11 is getting some help.

Is_What_It_Is's picture

Poly, so sorry you are going through all of this. This is utterly heartbreaking on so many levels. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family.