To spank or not to spank, that is the question...???
Long story short: dh was beaten as a child by his sf, ss11 is a lying jerk!!! I don't even have the patience to get into his extensive lying!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tonight dh pulled out a sheet of make up work that was made for ss because he doesn't deel like he has to do work I school and dh realized that he forged the signatures! So, he wakes him up and asks him! Ss denied, denied , denied, then cracks! All forged...!!! Dh has ss walk with his book at over his head and tell him how much he loves school and how being respectful is needed! Then he sparked him. I have never even really heard dh raise his voice to ss in our 6* years. And NEVER would I EVER have thought he would spank him. I don't think dh was wrong persé, but I know that for him to have reached this level, he is at his limit. I mean I have recently started disengaging when we saw that ss was playing both families to the point "fear" for his safety... Why do we do this?! Can't we just drop skids off in the woods and call it a reality show?! I mean I know some people... Editors, screen writers, etc.
I feel like this, some kids
I feel like this, some kids spanking works on, some it ups the ante so to speak, if it works fine, if it is not working and the kid continues to act more, then it is not working try something else. In my country most do not spank, in the US people do. Whatever works for you guys. Kids need to be shocked and awed is how I feel.
Agreed, wish there was a
Agreed, wish there was a book.
I think there are kids that
I think there are kids that spanking works on there are kids that spanking will not work on. Like any tactic there are those it resonates with and those that get nothing out of it. My thing about spanking is this, when I do wrong I do not want to be spanked by my hubby or my boss, therefor how is it really helpful? Also there are those kids that need a bit of a shock and awe and then they can refocus and get on with their day right? I think it just depends on the child and the family. Sometimes it can be cultural too. In my home country not many spank or admit to it be honest. In the US it seems to be the norm and that is fine too. I say whatever works. I dont believe in demeaning in any fashion verbally, physically etc. My ex spanked my toddler years ago and it was fine. He was raised that way. I never have spanked but I am not judging anyone. I have my own style I guess and he has his and that is ok. I also dont believe bedtime should be a punishment. Bed time is a part of life to make it a punishment time will only give your child bed time issues is what I think. I do time outs, or extra chores etc. When I found my dd likes writing on walls but did not like to try to clean it up that was the answer. When she did not want to eat her supper, she was not given a bed time snack. I think the younger the child that is spanked the better the result would be. I think kids age out of it so to speak so that would be make it inefficient as a form of consistent discipline, if that makes sense. My dd has missed dance class due to tantrums, tea parties or play daets etc due to acting out. It sucked I felt punished too, but we dont have to do that anymore so its over. She knows I will not hesitate to put in her room and go to do xyz with out her while DH is home with her. I dont think any adult parent should be shamed over what they find workds for them, if it is ethical and legal and works fine! I also strongly feel that anyone that is not mom or dad that would try to spank is out of their mind! I just think that is off the table!