So, last night DH and I had it out, again. You know, I was married to my late husband for 23 years and NEVER had so much as a disagreement between us. I am so tired of this.....and, again, it's all about SD. I simply cannot stand her. She is 24, unmarried, popping babies like an easy bake oven, living in a trailer (that BM bought for her) with baby daddy, and sucking the system dry. She only shows up when it's a birthday or some other gift receiving opportunity for her. I was not raised this way, my child was not raised this way, and I do not agree with the "entitlement" mentality. I do not wish to visit her, entertain her, or coddle her in any way. From what I can see, no one in either side of her family has every expected anything of her or SS. I mean NOTHING!!!! Until she is a functioning member of society, she is not welcome in my life. DH cannot grasp this concept. She is his child and he "loves her". That is completely fine by me. Visit her every weekend, take her out to eat! Shower her with cash and gifts....I really really (and I mean it!) don't care! He SHOULD spend time with his kids!(I make sure and spend time with mine!) SS is heading in the same direction as SD - works two menial jobs, doesn't even hit 30 hours a week. Has lots of time to "play". Says he's gay, which is not problem with me, except he always has a girlfriend, with whom he's having sex (I know this because he takes pictures of the event and posts them on his website). DH is having a hard time grasping the fact that I am not his children's mother (lucky for THEM!). He chose their mother, and chose badly at that! From the very beginning he tried to FORCE all of us together, and it just didn't work. The harder he pushed, the worse it became. His children HAVE a mother...I am simply his wife.

I am just ready to give up. I am tired of taking crap because I do not wish to be a part of this mess. I do not care if he spends the holidays with his kids (I have my own family and friends!). I do not care if he celebrates every birthday with them (again, I have my own social life!). He fails to realize that I was getting along just fine before I met him and his children, and the world will not end if I am not at a family function where everyone enables everyone else.

I finally asked DH if he would rather me be a hypocrite and make nice with everyone and pretend all is well (which is soooo not me!) or would he rather me be true to myself and maintain some moral standing. He said one of the things he loves about me is that I am a strong (YANKEE) woman who knows who she is, where she's going and takes no crap. Ok...well.....he can't have it both ways! He wants me to be strong when it's convenient for him, but when it comes to his family it's a whole different story.

I am just tired...every day is an adventure...and I really am thinking of bailing on this relationship.