Skids are driving me INSANE...
Today is my first day at home after losing my job and I get to share it with the SKIDS. SD just got back from her trip to Washington D.C., supposedly she was sick - or wanted to stay with Daddy... Then SS is here because he is expelled from school and goes to some alternative education where he gets out early so today I get to see what happens while I am normally at work.
Well, the tv is all there's.... I have yet to watch one grown up show, and BF is making there food - I wonder why there is never anything in our fridge and now I know. Supposedly BM buys food for SS while he is at school so I asked BF why he was making lunch for his son when supposedly he eats lunch at school everyday - and his son makes this sarcastic remark WHAT DOES IT MATTER!! And BF jumps back at me and tells me to shut up and leave him the f*ck alone... And I told him not to dare defend the little twit when he makes such a nasty comment to something I said.
I'm sorry but I want the BM to pay for all of this food the SKIDS eat, because they eat like termites on a fresh pc. of wood. It drives me insane that this women gets child support, meanwhile we are the one's who take care of the children full time. All while she is out having fun.
Last night she called our house to talk to BF, wanting to know the status of her daughter's train. Even though her daughter was calling her with the stats. Ya know... Heaven forbid the lazy butt call 411 from her cell phone.
I really don't know how much longer I can hold off on going off on her and her lack of responsibility when it comes to her children.
Does anybody feel that they are getting the short end of the stick when it comes to dealing with the ex? Please share... LOL
Julie30..
WOW your BF, Hubby whatever had a lot of nerve saying that to you.
What his son said to you "What does it matter" hmmm who pays for the groceries? That is why it matters.
How rude of your BF-Hubby to say what he said to you. If he would just step up and be a parent his son would not talk to anyone that way. Plus it just shows his son that he can treat you like shit forever because who is going to do anything about it.. His dad's not look at how he talked to you. Rudeness honey..
I am venting today with stuff too so I tend to be little hard on men..
My husband got mad at me once for talking to his ex, so I quit which then made me hate her because she would call and ask me something and say oh didn't he tell you.. And I would say like yeah I forgot or something. and then be so angry at him for not saying anything to me. But since I took the initiative to finally talk to her again things are better. Except last night because of my stupid hormones and stuff, his ex gets support and yet she sent another bill for $100 for extras such as hair straightner and stuff for SD I informed my husband that she is to get child support and nomore. He said that he gave her $10 extra because she was complaining about money she spent on almost 22 year old ss who is sitting behind bars. I also told him nomore of that crap, we both spent at least $150 the last two times he was in jail.. So her wanting money out of my husband yeah put my foot down and said enough. he did not like it but I do not care. Not when he is coming to me and telling me I need money for this and that but he is forking out all this money to help her. Nope isn't happening.
men.. grow some freakin balls.. my gosh god gave them to them for a reason.. I have my own set (not really) but I have more balls to say things then my husband to his ex too.. OMG.. Sorry I am venting.. too..
This isn't really about the ex...
This really isn't about the ex...just like a lot of our frustrations aren't. Your BF isn't standing up for you and that isn't okay, especially in front of the child. This is where the work needs to begin. Take the focus off of the ex and focus on your frustrations, your relationship and if, in the end, this can work for you. That is the question that we all have to ask ourselves. Reality is...ex won't change, circumstances won't change...what is okay with us to live with?!
You are right, Happy!
The guys in the situations do need to grow some balls, but they won't if they don't have to. When we do all of the tought stuff, the "dirty work", I think their bits and pieces shrivel up and die...they lose their nerve, their courage and leave it up to the lady in their life. Just making an observation from lots of situations that I have read about here.
That is so wrong.
You have enough on your plate with loosing your job, to then have smart talk from ss and then have BF totally be disrespectful infront of them.
All he accomplished today was to show your already troubled SS that it is okay to treat you like garbage.
I would sit down with BF without the kids present and lay down the rules about what is acceptable & what isn't. You both have to have each others back at all times. Our rule is even if we are not in agreement we back each other up & then discuss it in private.
Hange in there. Go lock yourself in your room with a good book & have a little me time. Let him deal with his disprespectful kids.
Too funny, for a long time I have wondered about the "BALLS" LOL
Funny, I have wondered what happens to our mens balls when it comes to the ex's. BF always tells me that I am trying to prove my authority in the ex's life, insisting that I am jelous of her if I give her issues attention. He doesn't want to discuss her or talk about her but yet he caters to her whenever she is in need. Well, not all the time. According to SD, he told her mother "HELL NO" when asked to help move her furniture outside. He told her to have her boyfriend do it, he was just there to pick up the kids.
And when it comes to his ex, he gives me all rights to tell her whatever it is I feel, when I yell at him, he begs me to just yell at her and get her off his back. Again, where are the ball? I used to yell at her, but now she doesn't even listen to what I have to say - perhaps she knows that it is true.
But anyway BF said he was angry because I acted like his skids shouldn't eat while they are here instead of speaking to him without them in front of us. I can see his reason for jumping back at me a little but then again when that TWIT makes his comments, I jump back in BF's face full force and I hate to say it but his son knows who the boss is and I have pointed that out several times.
It just irritates me. I am the provider "normally" until I just lost my job because the construction industry is going down the tubes but I am sure that it won't take me very long to get a new job. So, I am enjoying the downtime. However, would love it so much more if we didn't have the kids here all of the time.
I hate to say this but I think his daughter who is 10 is trying to get awfully close to her daddy. Does that make sense. Not in a sick way but she fakes being sick, just so she can come to our house and be with him and the baby. She loves being around me too. But to the extent that 1/2 the time she is with us, she is pretending to be sick makes no sense to me. Or she really is sick from her mom's house.
BF insists that he is going to ask BM for custody of the kids "according to him, when the time is right" - who knows how long that will be but if she tells him to take a hike he is going to tell her that it's not her choice & we are filing. But it seems to be taking forever. I keep pushing, he insists that the only reason I want this is so she won't get the child support. And of course I want to see the kids in a better home but yeah, I don't want her getting the money when she doesn't take care of her kids. Ya know.
So, laughing I told him the other day that YEAH I WANTED TO TAKE AWAY HER SILVER SPOON... Heck, why not be honest - right... LOL
I have to have a sense of humor with all of this.
But anyways I noticed that HAPPY commented that her guy got mad when she spoke with the ex. What was his reasoning? I know my EX doesn't want any of his currents talking to me... Perhaps it's because he fears I will dish out the dirt. But when he got his ex pregnant, he told her she was not to dare tell his mom or me - I assume he thought she would terminate the pregnancy, it was supposedly a trap on her part - but he told her all hell would break loose if she contacted me. Later I found that funny. Of course she is out of state now but EX still won't fill me in on any details of his personal life. Honestly, I don't care to know about it - as he is not really that much involved in our lives.
But with my BF I sometimes think he wants me to put EX in her place. I guess so I can see for myself that he does stand up to her and is not keeping secrets, but all the same it still bothers me.
I feel like I shouldn't have to be the one to stand up to her. And now that she just hangs up - there is no resolution. But oh well. It's late and it's time for ME TIME
Yeah, I do find relaxation at least once every night before bedtime. A long hot bubble bath, by myself to think about all of this crap that I have to deal with. LOL
I'm glad this site is here, so I can vent... LOL Goodnight & catch up with everyone later. Thanks for listening
Julie (31)
Bio-Children - Son under 1 with BF, Son age 11 from previous relationship.
BF - Son under 1 our's together, Daughter age 20 from prior marriage, son age 14 & daughter age 10 from previous relationship.
Julie30
Well I hope your day is better today...
My husband does not care now that we talk, because its less that he has to talk to her. I think when he got angry with me it our relationship was still new like maybe not quite a year yet so I think he kinda thought I was rubbing it in to her. That he had moved on and she still hasn't today. But that has all changed.
He still gets angry with me when I speak about his kids to him. But then again I am at the point where I say it now and just do not care. You know. His daughter especially. Wow.. But I do not pick on his kids as I think he sees it, I honestly just tell him what I see. His daughter is very lazy and will admit it no problem. And at 15 almost 16 I am not going to work and come home and pick up after all of them. Here lately I have been like spring cleaning. Last night I cleaned all my drawers out and also cleaned my closet out. Got rid of one of those huge black trash bags full of clothing. But still I am not cleaning up after everyone.
I guess someone has to have the "balls in the family".. And if its me then so be it.
Well you have a better day.
Also on your SD I think that she is just more comfortable at your house. Perhaps her sicknesses are just a ploy to get to your house and then she has to stick with that so she does not look like a liar. Maybe sit her down and ask her about it. Maybe just tell her that if she wants to come over just call and ask, that making up that she is sick does not have to happen. You know..
Ok I am done..
Happy
SD is here once again! Urgh....
BF left this morning to go and pick up his daughter. It angers me because I know she is faking it... So, obviously and I think her dad finally is catching on. He told her if she is going to stay home from school then she needs to park her butt on the couch and lay down. No fun today... Then he went off to bed because he works the night shift so now I am stuck babysitting her.
More kid shows... Whoooppeee - we are watching Sponge Bob right now, then she brought over CARS the movie so we can watch it... It just gets better and better.
AS for my honesty about his kids - lately I am saying what I feel almost daily and BF just ignores it. It irritates me.
We have a baby together and the baby is no problem at all, why are these kids of his so difficult?
I am also angry because I had been trying to plan a trip to the mountains to see snow. Well, he wants his kids to join us but they can't get out of school since the have missed to much time. But he said he would ask his boss and he told me this morning that his boss said No fu*king way! And included that it was obvious that since losing my job, I'm not suffering financially if I am planning a trip. Hello! I work all of the time, yeah I was laid off but haven't taken a real Vacation in a long time.. It's long overdue. I am pissed at BF because when it comes to his kids his lazy butt will stay home for days just because he is tired of them. Gosh... I hope my day gets better. I am still going on vacation and I will make sure his life is hell until he decides to tell me he has changed his mind
But oh well, I'll write more later. Take care and have a wondeful day
Julie (31)
Bio-Children - Son under 1 with BF, Son age 11 from previous relationship.
BF - Son under 1 our's together, Daughter age 20 from prior marriage, son age 14 & daughter age 10 from previous relationship.
Can I offer you a suggestion
How many tv's in the house? If there is only one then let her watch about 1 hour or until something you want to watch comes on and then change it. Its a compromise.. And you will teach her something valuable by not letting her do whatever just because she is the kid.
Vacation- take your little one and go just you two.. Let him stay home and take care of his children while you go. Take the time you need for you.. And just make a fun little adventure for you and him.. You will love the quality time with him. And your BF will miss and appreciate you more when you come home because he will have had to take care of his kids all by him self.
Take your 11 boy with too. I just read that one.. up there.. But just take some time for you.
The TV remember is something that you pay for?
LOL..
Hugs to you Julie31- we are one in the same.. I am 31 too and sometimes feel the same way as you...
Happy
Julie, I feel your pain!
During the summer DH's sons work from home with me on Wednesday. Our house was tore apart & being remodeled. I had to move my computer downstairs to our family room. The only room with a TV. God forbid they play out side ever.
Anyhow I had 8 freakin hours a day with Sponge Bob, Jimmy Neutron, Timmy Turner... the same shows over & over again. I thought I would loose my mind.
I can't stand to hear sponge bob to this day. I thank God our house is finished for the most part & when they want to watch these I send them downstairs.
I told DH this summer they will play outside no less than 1 hr aday, weather permitting if I have to lock the door. ( My mom used to do that to us.)
Queen of the Remote
Don't get me wrong, I have watched plenty of Nick Jr. and to this day I suffer PTSD from the horrible Barney flashbacks, but I am also Queen of the Remote in my house and if I don't want to watch a kid show, then I just change the channel. I remember when we were young you left your house after breakfast, maybe come home for 15 minutes to scarf down a PB&J and then it was back outside until dinner. We played with our friends outside all day everyday. And sick days home from school for me meant laying on my Grandma's couch while she watched The Price is Right.
~ Anne ~
That's right Anne. I too
That's right Anne. I too remember those "good ole days." That's exactly how my days played out. Nowadays though, kids are more into TV programs, computers, cell phones and of course the Internet.
The rules have changed and the dynamics are different. It's no longer cool to go outside and find something fun to do or play with your friends. Gone are those days....
Here's my rule about the TV. I am the MASTER of the remote, and they can go watch their silly programs in their bedrooms. MTV programs are outrageous now, I mean they are filth. Nothing surprises me anymore. Reality TV...don't get me started!