Ok ladies here it is the rendition of the bm showdown at the carah ranch!!!!

So bm and her father show up an hour early to drop off sd. Her father who I will refer to as dick comes to the door and says sd is very upset and won't come out of the car can u come out? So I go out lean in the car an say hey what's going on? Sd says nothing's going on. I say ok come on we have to do this and this. She says ok and undoes her seatbelt and pops out of the car and into my arms (sd is 4). Dick says to me we want to talk to you about arrangements for the school year so I said yes I want to talk to you too but first I am going to get sd settled in the house so she doesn't have to hear this. So I do that and come back out, I can tell dick has his barrels blazing. He starts to talk to me in a very disregarding controlling patronizing way about how their plan is to have sd during the week and they will bring her to school. I stated at him blankly (remember bm has to have supervised visits had license revoked because of drug use and she signed over full custody to bf). So I said in a semi calm voice first of alli don't allow my own father to speak to me in that tone of voice so I certainly not going to let you so change the tone. Secondly bf has decided that sd will be at our home/her primary residence Sunday night through Thursday night to go to and from school and you guys can work out the weekends. To this his reply was why does this need to be a dictatorship? This is the point in the story that mount carah blew. I said well you have just sat here and dictated to me and because he has full custody and your days of steam rolling and bullying bf and using sd as a guilt pawn over him are OVER!!!!! During this little rant bm finally opens her mouth and for everything I said was like wow,omg and othe juevenille comments, I turned to her and shouted grow up you are the exact reason we are I
In this situation. Dick says to me who are you to tell us how it is going to be your not the one who should be looking after her anyway. Now a little back story. Dick and his wife had "washed" their hands of bm they wrote a letter to the lawyer saying bm was unfit and totally supported bf having full custody. They were done helping her and blowing smoke up my ass about how great I was and how happy they were that sd had a happy, loving, stable environment with me and bf. so I said to him well bf and I have discussed this and since I care for her 95% of the time and she lives in my house I am relaying the message. Bm says well thats not the way it should be! So again I turned to her and said well that's the way it has been for the last 6 months and that is the way it is and let's take a step back and think about why it is that way!!!! Take a look in the mirror. She says we have joint custody now bf only had full custody until I was able to look after her. So I said so since when are you able to look after her I would think the supervised visits would have been lifted before custody was changed and you have given us nothing from a doctor or a drug test to tell us you are clean. So i told her to go back and read her paperwork. Dick starts in again with the reasons why sd should be with them during the week my responses to him are in the brackets. We are retired (well I work from home and if that's the case where have you been for the last 6 months) we have the room ( I have a 3000 sq ft house and 3 acres of land if I can't fit a 4 yr old in there then we have a problem) we have the time for her (again then where have you been for the last 6 months) we live 1/2 a mile from the school (we live around the corner from the school and it takes us 25 mins to get to your house so reset your odometer and check again) we can provide her a stable environment to this I stated at him and said are you implying that we don't or can't and haven't for the last 6 months????? He didn't say anything I then told them it was time for them to leave my property!!!!!! So they left there was a lot more squabbling and immature comments from bm but too much bs to write. I figured bf would be calling me shortly afterwards dealing with fallout but he heard nothing from them ( that might be dangerous cus who knows what they are coming up with in looney town) so I reiterated the conversation to him he said he was very proud of me to stand up to them and finally say what I needed to and he backed me 100%. And that we are a team, we will make the decisions and they will just have to deal with it so maybe we are getting it together and are finally getting on the same page and on the right path. Thanks for all the support ladies, chalk one up for carah. And I apologize for any grammar or spelling mistakes I was on a roll.