Shopping and SKIDS
My SO's daughter (STB19 and going back for 2nd year of college) has been home living at BM's for the summer. She has her first job, which we are very proud of her for getting and keeping all summer. She has probably seen SO twice all summer, his BD and then again on Father's Day. Rest of summer she has been too busy with friends to come over even though he has invited her numerous times. So yesterday he tells me he is taking her out to dinner, she is coming over after work. I think Great...about time she spend some time with her dad. So they come back after dinner and she has a bunch of bags from Bed Bath and Beyond. Guess she needed some new stuff for her apartment at college. And here I was thinking she wanted to see her dad and have dinner with him...I'm sure it was because there was a shopping trip involved. BM sent him a list last week of what she needed to take with her. I just don't see how these dad's don't see this. So obvious! He has offered to drive her back to college town (10 hour drive), which is great, they can spend some good time together. I wondered when he told me about the dinner plans, why now, when you and she will be heading off to take her to college next weekend does she finally come over. Shopping! why else!
oh I know exactly what you
oh I know exactly what you mean-my ss15 refused to speak to dh for 8 months. Told him he was completely done, no longer had a father, and then called dh some names. Then he calls out of the freaking blue one day and wants dh to buy him a scooter. No apology or explanation for the 8 months of silence-in fact he wanted to know why dh hadn't been calling him.
My ss is also notorious for what I like to call the post-thanksgiving call. Typically this occurs after months of no contact. Then within the week after t-giving he calls and acts like there's nothing wrong. Brings up xmas. (Now he doesn't specifically ask for anything, because he's too slick for that-he's got this down). Then he will usually call about once a week-leading all the way up to xmas. He will talk about how he wants to visit, wishes he had been visiting, wishes he could have a better relationship with his sibs, blah, blah, blah. But note, that he never actually visits, puts off making arrangments to visit, talks only about visiting at some point in the future. If dh falls for it-ss will arrive on xmas day-stay for 10 minutes to retrieve his gifts and then leave. When dh doesn't fall for it-ss will continue to call right up to xmas day. Then dh will get the post xmas text of how ss is done with him for some made up reason-when in truth it is because dh didn't give in and purchase ss whatever he wanted or give him large amounts of cash.
I get that these skids are
I get that these skids are selfish entitled brats, but what 19 year old wants to hang out with their dad?
When I came home for the summers,I wanted to hang with my friends, boyfriends, go to the beach etc. Dear old dad was way down on the list.
my own bio who is almost 18
my own bio who is almost 18 years old is never at home he is either working or with friends or sports related stuff for his last year of high school so i am not sure if this is just a skid issue either. i think it's just more obvious with skids because they are never around at least bio is in and out of house to shower,eat. ect....
Yeah I get that the kids are
Yeah I get that the kids are busy and have other things they want to do.... But you make time. When I was home from college I made a point of calling my dad to get together at least every other week, even if it was just for dinner. I knew it was important to him so I made the time.