SD13 Wanting to Grow-up Too Fast
Is it me or do most of the young girls want to be super adult way too fast? My SD13 and DH were on their way for your school physical and she told my DH she needed to go to the store. I was on my way up the stairs and I heard him ask what she needed, she replied by saying she has a list. I stopped in my tracks and turn around and asked to see the list. She reluctantly showed it to me and on two of the items on her list was shaving cream and razors! WTF! I asked her why was she shaving her legs at 13 and she replied. "I just do." I explained to her that if she is shaving her legs now at 13 by the time she is 18 she will look like a woolly mammoth. I use descriptive language with her for affect. I then told her that every time you shave your legs the hair grows back thicker. I told her it is her body but I wanted her to be informed. She told me that she was told not to use Nair because it had burned her legs. I told her actually because your skin is sensitive and she is too young to be putting chemicals on her skin. Between the make-up, cleavage bearing shirts, and tight pants (which BM bought for her) I am about to loose my mind. My poor DH is clueless, he constantly tells me, I need your help! I don't know what to do! I guess I should be happy that he wants my help. I was heading back to a total disengagement if he didn't start stepping up and at least attempting to parent his daughter. He has shown some improvement, but needs a lot more work. Well like I said at least he is trying, I feel for the stepmoms who have no or very little spousal support with SKs.
What grade is 13 yrs old? I
What grade is 13 yrs old? I know I was in middle school when I started shaving and girls progress faster now than they did 20 years ago. Honestly, I would let shaving go, she might just be ready to not be the hairy girl!
Yeah, I was gonna say on this
Yeah, I was gonna say on this one I'd let it go. I remember being in 9th grade (I was 13 in 9th grade, BTW, although I was the youngest in the class) there was ONE girl who didn't shave - her mom wouldn't let her - and she was teased about it a lot. As long as birth control wasn't on the list, try not to worry about it!
I shaved at 13, and I'm 41
I shaved at 13, and I'm 41 now. Jeez... lighten up. Our culture makes having any visible body hair a target for picking on and bullying. Of course she's going to want to shave at 13.
And no, shaving *doesn't* make your hair grow in thicker or cause more hair follicles to form. If you are going to dissuade her, at least don't lie.
You really don't expect her
You really don't expect her to wait until she's 18 to shave her legs do you?
What she's doing is very normal and age appropriate.
Agreed, my dd is 13 and she's
Agreed, my dd is 13 and she's been shaving since about 11/12. She does cheer and her hairy legs made her self conscience and insecure so she started shaving. Funny thing she only really shaves in the summer.
Oh, and I just wanted to add
Oh, and I just wanted to add (since we all got hung up on the shaving thing) that I am COMPLETELY IN AGREEMENT on hoochie-mama clothes that show too much cleavage. On ANYONE, let alone a 13 year old girl. I may have no control over what my SDs wear, but I will lock my own daughter in her room before I let her leave the house looking like she charges by the hour!
(Uh... and not to ruin it, but *some* makeup at 13 is normal too. Again, not like war-paint level, but a little blush and lip gloss? Totally normal.)
I agree on the clothes thing,
I agree on the clothes thing, however, I will point out that clothes really isn't her fault either. Society and fashion pushes the sexualization of girls starting at a very early age. I can't believe the clothes that are in the stores for my 6 year old. Hello prosti-tots!
For the shaving of legs...at
For the shaving of legs...at 13, totally normal. I was about that age. My OBD was about that age, my YBD went and did it without talking to me at 11....and she decided that shit is for the birds and hasn't bothered too again because she realized she really doesn't have that much hair and it's very hard to notice. She just turned 12 so I doubt she will be doing it again soon....but hey...it's her deal.
Makeup...my rule was not until 7th grade and only then it would be very MINIMAL. My OBD is going to be a sophomore...she still only wears lipgloss, unless it's a dance or something and then she may add a little blush and mascara. My 12 yr old is going in to 7th grade...again...when it's a dance or something she wants some lip gloss and I let her put a little neutral highlighter on her cheeks...
I DO NOT allow either of my daughters to walk around in belly baring, cleavage showing shirts, or butt cheeks hanging out of their shorts. They have bikinis...but tasteful.
Leg shaving...let it go. Pick your battles and this one ain't worth it.
im pretty sure i shaved my
im pretty sure i shaved my legs and pits around that age and im blonde so even to this day it doesnt show much. IMO, that isnt "growing up too fast" at all but simply good hygiene.
as for your other comments abotu the clothes, i agree - but i also think that no girl should dress slutty at ANY age adn teaching a girl to respect herself starts at a young age.
Okay, ladies, thanks for the
Okay, ladies, thanks for the heads up. At that age I was developed and had gotten my period at 9ys old but did not have hair on my legs that was noticeable enough to need to shave. I appreciate the honest feedback, that is why I love this site. And for those who responded did I expect her to wait until 18 yrs old to shave, no of course not. I thought thirteen was a bit too young for shaving, I learned something new. Thanks a bunch guys!
I started shaving much
I started shaving much younger than 13... I think i was like 10, maybe 11. Though I wanted to start MUCH sooner than that. My parents told me once I started middle school I could start shaving my legs. I have had friends who started BEFORE middle school. But I think 13 is a good age, puberty starts, body starts changing (some changes sooner than later)
I'd say just be glad Condoms weren't on the list!! That would be a cause for concern. Shaving legs... naw, no big deal.
UPDATED: When my SD13
UPDATED: When my SD13 returned from her doctor visit, we talked more about it and I told her I will make sure she has the right tools and understand how to shave her legs properly. She told me she doesn't really have a lot of hair on her legs, she just likes to shave sometimes. I told her that it is okay, just want to make sure that she knows how to do it the appropriate way. I am taking her shopping for girly stuff anyway so I told her I will get her a good razor with the cartridges and teach her how to safely shave her legs. She was thankful and gave me a hug and said she loved me! I told her I only want to make sure she is okay and she said I know. Melted my heart! I have been in her life since she was 6 yrs old. BM hasn't talked to her about anything, this is just the surface stuff. She had to try and learn from her friends. That is sad. Since she has been with us full-time, I have found out there are things that she needs to know that BM has not taken the time to tell her. I have my work cut for me with trying to not be too motherly but be there for her, which make sit difficult but I can be over-protective at times. I see so may young girls without the proper support and guidance from their own mothers! But with my DH support I hope all will be well.
(No subject)
I was in the furry 6th grade
I was in the furry 6th grade club too!
I'm Italian and thus have
I'm Italian and thus have BLACK hair. Luckily my arm hair is thin, but no on my legs. My mom actually took me aside right before 6th grade (right as I was turning 12) and said it was time to start shaving my legs. She bought me a shaving kit and showed me how.
My SDs are 14 and 11. The 11 year old was not allowed to start shaving until spring of this year, per her BM's rules. I disagreed (silently), but deferred to BM rules. SD11 used to complain to me about it and said girls at school would tease her. She is blonde and you can barely see the hair, but I did feel bad for her. She said she was pretty much the only one in her 5th grade class who didn't shave.
I have no problem with shaving starting early, as long as the hoochie clothes and behavior doesn't start!