School Fundraisers
SD5 and SD7 attend the same school; grades K and 2nd, respectively. The whole school does the same PTA fundraiser.
BM told SD5 and SD7 that they're going to have a competition to see who can sell the most. BM's BF (or husband, who knows?) is going to sell SD7's stuff at his work, and Daddy (my DH) is going to sell SD5's stuff at his work.
The packets were sent home on Monday. DH just heard about this for the first time last night when SD5 asked how his selling was going. When he told SD5 he didn't have the paperwork yet, she completely melted down. Apparently BM, SD7 and BM's boyfriend have been gloating about winning so far.
Not sure to what extent this is happening in BM's home .. we only have SD5's side of the story.
DH emailed BM last night asking her to send the fundraiser info for SD5 today at drop off. BM replied with "I'm not your messenger boy or middle man so if you need info from the school you need to contact them directly. It's not my responsibility to make sure you're involved in your own kids' life".
So he called the school first thing this morning. They're mailing him the info. Luckily, most of it can be done/ordered online too. They provided the website and school ID and he was able to register SD5 today.
I just wonder .. how does a mother do that her own child? We'll get more of the story when the skids are dropped off tonight .. so it may be an overreaction from SD5, but this isn't normal for her. The "benefit" of her boyfriend/husband outselling DH can't possibly be worth the stress she's putting her youngest child through .. right? 
Because she's an asshole,
Because she's an asshole, that's why.
She wants to make sure that DH looks like a jerk who couldn't care less about his kid when he doesn't even have a clue what's going on because she made up the "competition" and didn't bother telling him. BM set him up to fail, to disappoint SD5, and then to use that as a "your father doesn't do anything for you".
It's sad to me that any
It's sad to me that any mother could get gratification out of doing something like that. Disgusting, really.
I'm not saying it is PAS. It
I'm not saying it is PAS. It sounds like it might be but on the off chance that it isn't, BM obviously doesn't realize how big a deal a competition like this is for siblings.
My bios are 2 and 5 and competitions are a HUGE deal with them. And trust me, EVERYTHING is a competition:
First one changed into PJs. First one who gets into the car. First one to kiss Drac0 when he comes home. First one to finish their meals. Who collects the most dandelions. Who gets the better Kindersurprise. etc. Everything is a competition with these two. The winner gets bragging rights and the loser has a complete meltdown.
But BM says it will be BM's
But BM says it will be BM's BF vs. BD. BM is setting BD up for failure and her DD5's failure.
I agree completely with just donating money in lieu of pandering crap to the neighbors.
This BM is a piece of....
This BM is a piece of.... work. Ugh.
She's the one who told your DH she will not be passing on ANY school info right?? Did your DH make contact with the school about that? Did he find out if the school can email him every newsletter?? My kids school do that. Might help him keep one step ahead of BM, when he see's something in the newsletter that applies to his girls, he can call the school and ask them if they can post the appropriate forms etc to him. THEN if he needs to, he can email BM to say that he is on bored or will take care of the forms etc etc.
Hopefully you guys can have a wee conversations with the girls about 'competitions' when you see them, help them have a more 'team spirit' approach to these sorts of things, although i do understand that might be hard considering BM's input
The skids BM pits the skids
The skids BM pits the skids against each other. SS's are 10 and 13. Why would a mother pit a 10 yr old against a 13 yr old??? Different skill levels, abilities, etc. She does it to favor SS10. She puts up roadblocks for the 13 yr old every time. SS13 tells us all the time that SS10 is BM's favorite. SMDH.....MOTY right there.
Just do some of your holiday shopping with the fundraiser stuff, SD5 will do great!