He is being a selfish git. He should not be unloading his parenting responsibilities onto you - these are HIS kids, not yours. 

Doesn't need time off or time together? My arse! So he expects you to just deal with being his nanny without even being considered important enough to deserve couple time? What planet does he think he's living on?

It's time you put your foot down - if he isn't present then his kids won't be in your home. Visitation is for HIM to see HIS kids, not to leave them with someone else. So, either he stops the "working at the weekend" crap or he hire a babysitter because you are no longer going to be taken advantage of. 

I suggest you decide to take a weekend away - go to see your parents, your sister, a friend... whoever you'd like to see and leave him to take care of his own kids ... as if he were a real parent. If he balks at the prospect (and he will) point out that if he doesn't step up his game and treat you as a wife and not a skivvy that you will be making that situation permanent. 

So you say he sometimes chooses to work weekends. How did he manage childcare for those weekends before he met you?

I agree, you need some downtime and have every right to not participate in such a grueling schedule.  I would lose my mind if SO and I never had couple time or if there was no CO in place.  Leave him to his kids, he will likely agree to change schedules when he has to parent himself.

OP, if their agreement is that he will "take them when he isn't working", then why are they over there when he IS working?

They can stay at BM's, and he can pick them up when he gets off work.  Also, he can then take care of them himself once they get home. 

Congratulations on the pregnancy OP! I think it's absolutely ridiculous that you are expected to be the caregiver for these kids and that they're even at the house when their father isn't there. I'm getting sick of reading this from posters. I'm going to take it a step further and say that I think these women should be paid because they're unpaid baby-sitters lol. People who aren't paid to watch children get an equal say in how they're raised if they're regularly taking care of a kid as far I'm concerned.

Secondly, pregnancy is  demanding on a woman's body and a very sacred/special time. Shame on your husband for adding more to your plate. 

1. I would highly suggest deleting that whole abortion comment (and/or) thread. pro-choice or pro-life, it isnt about you supposedly not being able to parent correctly, therefore no child for you! This is about you and what is acceptable to you, for now and in the future.

2. He doesnt need time off or alone time with you. In my understanding, you have Mon-Fri where it is currently "just the two of you", so Im not sure what you mean in that you need alone time with him? You need a break from kiddos during the weekend? Thats an easy fix - make some weekend plans! When your child arrives, you two will need to discuss getting alone times...but for now it appears that you have alone time with him m-f after work, unless he works evenings too???

3. He palms his kids off on you during HIS time on the weekends. Not good. For special circumstances I can understand and it would be ok with me, but frequently? hmmmm. no.

This is the same dude that tells you that you cannot have a say about anything to do with kiddos yet he wants you to watch them for him. Not good. You need to communicate with him that if you are to have RESPONSIBILITY for kids then you are to have some authority as well. I know. Easy for me to type this, hard to do.

4. There is no custody order - I read some of your backstory. And child support is still off-record? To keep the peace with BM. Well he needs to be more about keeping peace with YOU than HER. Period. You understand, without anything on record, he could be paying more than he needs to and its considered a "gift". Plus, she isnt working so, thats why she wants it all off record. Shes a lazy butt. Our BM, Toxic Troll, she is on disability I just heard, and she recieves child support as well as spousal support (only for a few more months, yay!) plus shes has side gigs for cash under the table. But doesnt work on the records.

Its such a scam!

Congratulations on your new little one!

OP you can report unwanted comments on your post so that it doesn't get hijacked by side arguments.

Personally your DH needs to step up and be the parent he was before he even met you. It's one thing for him to ask you if you would mind watching the kids while he works. It's another thing he's telling you to do it.

Sit down and have an open and honest discussion with him, put your boundaries in place and enforce them. He should not view you as a replacement parent to himself.

Oh mama. I feel you. I'm 5 months pregnant with my first and my husband has 2 stepsons, 12 and 14. They are with us 50% of the time. I've been struggling a lot managing my emotions around being a bio and step mom and NEED my husbands support in that. Time alone to focus on your relationship is a necessity, and so is your husbands support when you advocate for what you need. He needs to make it clear to you that his kids don't come before the one you share, and that your needs as his wife and a mother are important. Doesn't sound like he's doing that. I'd be very clear about what it is you need and why you need it. I'm sorry you're going through this, sounds very frustrating. If you ever need to vent about pregnant step mom life, dm me! 

and I had stepkids.  In my experience, parenting four kids at once who are yours is way easier than parenting one stepkid who isn't yours.  You have the ability to instill good behavior and good manners in your own children.  You have ability to set a routine (which I highly recommend) with your own newborn and children where they go down for naps and sleep at certain times.  Parenting stepkids is way harder especially when you don't have any say in how they've turned out and their parents tie your hands.  You are constantly watching what you say and what you do as it will be reported back to BM and used against and you feel like you are on treading water in the ocean all weekend swimming under sharks.  Of course that is exhausting.  So in my expert opinion and I think I qualify as I'm a mother of a 5 year old, 10, 12, and 14 year old and I work a full time job with 12 hour shifts is just because your stepkids drain you and leave you exhausted, that doesn't necessarily mean being a mother will.  Of course sometimes it's going to leave you tired.  Especially in the beginning.  But you have the power when you are the mother (it's different if your child has special needs) and you don't when you are the step parent.   

Why does your DH agree to have his prior relationship kids every weekend.  Time to invoke the spousal Veto on that crap and stipulate a EOWE visitation schedule for the Skids.  You, your marriage and your new baby need at least EOWE for you, DH and the baby to be a family without the invasion of Skids.

DH does not need to discuss this with his X.  The most powerful element of being an NCP is the ability to refuse visitation.   All he has to do is inform the X that he will be shifting to EOWE visitation.

Good luck and congrats on the new baby.

Youi've said that he wants to have as much time with them as possible only he isn't having time with them you are. One day he is going to regret that ... especially when they throw it in his face that he was never there, that they were saddled with you, that ... etc etc etc Maybe point that out to him? That being with you does not equate to being with him.

To want time off on the weekend when you work all week. Everyonr needs to decompress. Fact is, you cant with stepkids there on the weekend. He should find childcare fornthen on the weekends he works. What did he do before you were involved? When you have the baby, it will be so much worse because you will want time alone with just your kid on the weekend on your only days off and you will have to split it with his kids. It's what my steplife has been and I hate it. Also, in my case our bio comes after sd. Sd always gets tended too and dad revolves life around her. So I feel like a single mom. 

You're right in asking for a schedule change. Can you imagine newborn plus 2 step kids on weekends when you're off from work? And he's out working and you're having to look after all four of you while he's out.

sorry no. If someone had their kids over just once and was out working and I had to look after them i would speak to them about it. That doesn't even make sense. He has his kids every weekend but mostly works... you two have no time as it is and now weekends are spent babysitting when he's gone? No thank you! 
 

what has he said to the schedule change?

When I met my future husband, I also thought that raising his son would not be difficult. But children at his age (he is 4 years old) are too active and dependent on us. At first, we spent a lot of time finding nanny, since I have my own business, and my husband is constantly on business trips. Now my son goes to this daycare https://kidcityusa.com/locations/florida/crystal-river/, it somehow saves us time, but I feel that he lacks parental attention. I don’t want to blame my husband, but I’m not ready to raise a child on my own. I just can’t decide to discuss this with him.

No to looking after the HIS children at weekends, If he needs to work then he can arrange a different time or he can get a babysitter. We all go into this trying to be reasonable and I think it is reasonable for him to look after his own kids.

As for the change of schedule. COMPLETELY reasonable given your circumstances. You are not asking for much and he should accomodate you. Like my partner, it seems that you don't really matter. I've asked mine to send hers to the SD for half the month because I just can't cope, but they come first and she couldn't possibly do that.

Go on strike. If he can't do that for you, then you don't do things for him. As childish as it sounds, sometimes it is the only way to make a point. Looking after his kids on the weekend is the first thing you stop doing.