O/T Sexual assault or not?
So, here is the back story.
Man and woman are in a long term relationship. They decide (apparently amicably) that the relationship is not working and decide to split. In the process of breaking up etc.. they have sex, and the woman insists on a condom. Man POKES holes in it and she ends up pregnant.
Woman has an abortion as she did not want this baby, and took precautions (or so she thought) to prevent unwanted pregnancy. She took the man to court and the Supreme Court found him guilty of sexual assault!!
It seems he did not want her to leave him and tried to trap her... Supreme court declared sexual assault because of the changes in a woman's body as a result of his actions...
I think if some of our nutso BM's had some consequences, the nonsense would be less. LOL
I don't like this at all.
I don't like this at all. Just case in point of a double standard! I'm not familiar with this story so based on the information here...
Let me first off say that what this guy did was wrong and if these are the facts of the case the woman has every right to be hurt and upset as she clearly had to go through a very difficult experience and ultimately have a procedure done that will haunt her for the rest of her life. Every gyno appointment from now on as she fills out the paperwork she will have to relive that. If a time comes that she does want to have a family, this is something in her past that will haunt her. How awful.
On the flip side, while I think everything she went through was terrible and I'm glad this guy is being held accountable, at least she, as a woman, had the opportunity to take action. If the roles were reversed and a woman deliberately sabotaged birth control and it could be proven, the man would still be trapped for the next 18 years and so on and be accountable for supporting that child at a minimum financially. It is a complete double standard and I hope that this case can be used to defend the opposite.
With both of that said, and here is a bit of the conservative part of me, maybe chicks should keep their legs closed and dudes should keep it in their pants if they aren't really ready for the consequences of their actions.
What if this guy had AIDS!!??
What if this guy had AIDS!!?? :jawdrop:
that was part of the debate!
that was part of the debate! I know!
LOL! I know right? They had
LOL!
I know right? They had this huge debate on the radio about it the other day. I actually agree with Echo here.
I remember thinking the same thing- in the past when I was at the point of breaking up with someone, the LAST thing you do is have sex. And- Ive always been a huge advocate of using your OWN form of birth control. The woman said in a interview, that she knew he was heartbroken and didn't want to break up. Both of then Dumbasses.
He was initially charged with fraud, then it turned into assault.
If someone deliberately
If someone deliberately impregnated me and I did not expressly consent to it, nor was I to blame for not using any form of contraception (condoms although not perfect are a pretty good contraceptive) I would feel violated even if the sexual act has been consensual. I feel that some form of punishment to acknowledge that fact is appropriate, however the law works to distribute that punishment. It would probably lead to issues with trust and intimacy in the future for the woman, not unlike those associated with other forms of sexual assault. If she had been taking the pill and he had swapped her pills for sugar pills would you see that as worse or the same as holes in the condom? Both seem equally bad to me. Also I want to add that if they'd only used a condom and it had broken, she could have gone to the doctors the next day and got that sorted; without knowing of the potential pregnancy until there are symptoms options are more limited.
One thing I question here is how it was proved that he put holes in there? Did they find the condom after and inspect it?
Anyway, yes there does also exist a whole double standard as to women who deliberately deceive their partners about their birth control and get pregnant (I have a SD as proof of that). I find it deplorable and disgusting to force a man to be a father without his express consent, but as yet there are not any ways that I have heard of to deal with this. And also, although saddled with a child for 18 years+, the man does not have the physical changes of pregnancy let alone the potentially life threatening act of child birth to go through or the alternative as in this case of abortion.
I am not denying that accidents don't happen, just that a true accident on both parties is not such a violation of person as to when someone has deliberately planned to have a child without the consent and knowledge of the other.
They know the condom was
They know the condom was pierced bc he admitted it to her in a text message.
Because condoms are a
Because condoms are a legitimate form of contraception that both parties choose to use and can verify are being used at the time of sexual intercourse. Many people use them successfully to prevent not only STD's but also pregnancy. It is pretty much the only form of contraception that men have control over. If they are used correctly they have a low failure rate, and when they do fail you usually know about it because the condom broke so you have an option to go and get some other form of birth control from the doctor. I used condoms as only contraceptive method successfully for years and have never been pregnant, and this was in all sorts of relationships from one night stands to committed long term relationships and only needed the doctor option on two occasions.
As others have pointed out, if you have access to contraception and have half a brain it is not hard to avoid pregnancy in most cases.
Oh and to those living in the fantasy land where people who don't love each other shouldn't have sex and that std's and pregnancy are completely unavoidable need a reality check. There are risks to all sexual encounters, it is our job to keep ourselves healthy and safe, but I'm not going to walk everywhere just because I might be in a car accident.
I also think the double
I also think the double standards are ridiculous but aside from that, my biggest issue is STDs. Holy shit, that's why I don't even trust condoms and was abstinent until DH--because STDs can kill.
There's this new strain of antibiotic resistant syphilis and gonnorhea, so yeah. She has fault for having sex with someone who she didn't want to be with, but he is the one who escalated.
I'm just glad some precedent has been set about this pregnancy entrapment issue. It might make guys and girls think twice about having sex with someone they don't want to be with, and might make men and women less likely to try pregnancy entrapment if there are consequences like this. Sexual assault would prevent that person from having custody because now they are considered a predator and will be on the registry.
My SD lied about being on the
My SD lied about being on the pill. She was on a mission; had sex with 5 guys in 4 months. When she would ask the guy of the month what they would do if she got pregnant she would break it off with the guys who said they wouldn't want the baby and would like her to have an abortion. She would tell me how she might be pregnant every month and how she was scared to tell her mother and would I buy her a pregnancy test. Finally she nailed the 5th guy. She had the baby. I wish she could be prosecuted for what she did. After the break up she got pregnant again by this guy (not very smart on his part). She lost the baby. If that guy could be charged with assault then this psycho should be charged with fraud and assault as well. My heart breaks for her child as she is a bad, inattentive mother. By the way, the father of her baby already has 2 other children. You think he would learn his lesson.
this is my issue- these
this is my issue- these babies are being had willy nilly and the BM's are never held accountable for manipulative sneaky behaviour.
I was sexually active at 19- I'm in my 40's now and have had ZERO unwanted pregnancies.
Yes. I swear women have men
Yes. I swear women have men thinking that BC isn't effective or something. How many BMs "got pregnant on the pill" ?
I became sexually active at the young age of 16. I was a foolish girl from then until about 19-20. I never even had so much as a pregnancy scare, I took my pill & used condoms. In that same amount of time, many of my friends 'got pregnant on the pill'
I even know a girl who had unprotected sex & got pregnant in October freshman year of college. She literally told me, she thought since she had been on the pill until August that the BC would still be in her system & she couldn't get pregnant. So she told the guy she was on the pill.
Is he an idiot for believing her? Yes. But damn, like I can't imagine that people would be that crazy & really want to make another human being with someone they hardly even know!
double post
double post
Exactly. Me too; sexually
Exactly. Me too; sexually active since 16, now 41 with 3 healthy boys and no unwanted pregnancies. Even as a young teen, I knew how to protect myself. My SD as I wrote about above did have 3 abortions that we know about that she had before she was 19. Interesting and sickening. 10 years later she was on a mission to get pregnant to trap a guy into paying for her to live while using an innocent child to ensure she would have 18 years of free living.