New...need advice about BM
Since I am new here I will give a bit of background. I am a bio-mom to a 6 year old girl and have 2 step-sons ages 6 and 8. My husband and I have only been married a bit over a month (but were together over a year before getting married). He and his ex-wife (BM to both the boys) were divorced many years before I came along. They have a wonderful co-parenting relationship with 50/50 timesharing. I am very happy that they get along and she and I get along as well.
This is my issue/question. Her birthday is coming up and my husband says he always gets her something for her birthday...not just from the boys, from him. Nothing extravagant, just a bottle of wine. I am not really sure how I feel about it. My initial reaction was to be upset about it. It seems a bit over-board. Maybe I am just being sensitive and its not a big deal. What do you all think? Is this crossing the line between being friendly and civil for the sake of the kids? Am I over-reacting in thinking this is inappropriate? Do I just deal with it and move on?
Thanks for any advice!
Here's some articles from
Here's some articles from professionals! They may help a bit. (I am WAY to biased to give advice.)
http://bonusfamilies.com/articles/co-parenting.php?id=261
http://bonusfamilies.com/articles/counterpartners.php?id=186
Hope this helps!
I think he should add your
I think he should add your name to the card so that the gift will be from both of you not just him….You are his wife now…not just a girlfriend or fiancé and he should respect your wishes.
Thanks for all your advice
Thanks for all your advice and input. Those links were great Thetis..thanks.
She is the mother of his kids. I think that is what bothers me a bit more is that he is not that understanding or even willing to hear my side of it. He just right away thinks I am over-reacting.
That is a good idea bigblues. Adding my name to the card would make me feel a bit better.