Need direction and arm charm Psychiatrist
For any who might have read my posts before my husband and I are dealing with crazy, extreme behavior from his ex-wife.
As I have come to realize there isn't anything that is normal about this behavior. It has escalated once again and it is the worst it has ever been. It is extreme and bizarre and only because he will not return her calls or text messages. For those new to my situation the kids are adults in their middle and later twenties so their is no reason for this contact.
We lost our way to block her we had, had her blocked for 7 years we did just find a new app thank you to all of those that helped with that information. But right before we found this app and she was blocked again, her behavior was very bizarre and extreme. We do know she will start using other peoples phones again and going to the cell phone store and using demo phones as this has been going on for 15 years. For those that reached out to me I know you are right there is no call blocking application that is going to stop this crazy behavior. It is time to go to the next step which is the police.
We are to the point where we are going to the police but we have something personal going on that we do not want to go just yet, plus she has threatened me in particular if I do. While of course we will still will go to the police, I guess I have realized this is bigger than us and she has a real mental issue, possibly borderline personality disorder, Psychopath, bi polar I am really not sure. Since we truly believe this is bigger than just jealousy, I want to put a label on it so that I know what my real worries are the more she is challenged. I am looking for information on where we can go to talk with someone show them all of our information and share her behavior and see what they think we are really dealing with. Or if someone could give us direction on where to seek this information out ourselves? What websites and how to go about it by her traits or whatever.
She definitely has some outstanding traits and knows no boundaries. She is not fearful in any way of leaving threats in messages and text. She projects her feelings on to others meaning the things she feels and does she says others are doing to her. She calls and screams and yells and threatens us one day and calls the next day like we are all friends. Just bizarre to list a few. The more she is ignored the worse she gets and now she is at the worst. Each time she crosses the line a little farther.
Any help or direction we would appreciate.
I can't imagine living with
I can't imagine living with this for 15 YEARS. I think I would have involved the police long ago. Why are you just now considering taking action?
I'm not sure anyone can provide a diagnosis without actually meeting her and performing an examination of her. Why do you feel you need a diagnosis before going to the police?
It's hard to know what's
It's hard to know what's going with her, without more information - but if either of you has an Employee Assistance Program through work, you can meet with a therapist for free who might be able to help you and point you in the right direction.
The bottom line is, it doesn't matter what's wrong with her, at this point, you guys have to find a way to get her to stop her harassment.
Thank you !!
That is great advice!!
I agree with SteppedOut that
I agree with SteppedOut that no one can provide an accurate diagnosis without meeting this whack job.
Please get a restraining order. Seriously consider outdoor cameras; especially viewing the street and doors. I also think you should act sooner rather than later.
Thank you....
Crazy doesn't even begin to describe the recent behavior.
What I also find scary is that she doesn't seem to mind to put threats in writing and voicemail. who would do that? Only someone who is crazy.
Thank you for reaching out
Please stop this
Please stop this procrastinating. You've been doing it for FIFTEEN YEARS and the situation is not getting any better. Recently she's stepped up her game, she's actually threatened you (any witnesses?), you know something is waaaaay wrong with the woman and yet you are STILL looking for reasons to do nothing? Stop. Just stop. What will it take for you to protect yourselves and go to the police? Someone being injured? Stabbed? Shot?
Talking to a psychiatrist is a waste of time because they cannot give an opinion without at least examining the person.
Thank you all
Thank you all for your responses. Sometimes I guess you don't realize how things sound until they are mirrored back to you. Situations don't always have a clear picture when you are living in them too so I also appreciate everyone's perspective there as well...
First while the situation has been going on 15 years it was never like it is now. When the kids were younger we had to deal with her while she made comments and we always had an issue with her she didn't' become or show she was so crazy until she was blocked 7 years ago... For the most part she only got a hold of someones phone every so often and my husband just ignored it and didn't always tell me until recently. He dealt with it for years os easy for him just to not answer if it had nothing to do with the kids ..It is just in the last year since she blames me for his blocking her that she has gone to such extremes... The threats to me are new. While no witness we have them in text messages from her phone to my husbands and messages she sent to family members to send to me and voice messages to my husbands phone. Calling him by name and stating it was her and then threatening me ...
This new round started in December when the call blocking feature went away. The reason we have not gone to the police is because I am up for a very large promotion where a background check is standard procedure. I didn't want my name running through the police department at the same time as my check. My boss knows what is going on but cooperate might not understand. I have been in the running for the job since November and I am narrowed to a finalist. I hoped that we could block her and buy us some time until this job is decided. While others may not understand so much has been taken from us by this situation and I really want this job and didn't this to effect it an hoped I could wait!!
I also really am getting my head around hte fact that she has a mental issue she is not just jeolous and while no one could diagnos her I was thinking I wnated to know the traits of each and what a threat they can be.
Hon, it doesn't matter what
Hon, it doesn't matter what mental issue she has. The fact is that she has ramped up the crazy and is threatening you. TAKE IT SERIOUSLY and take the necessary steps to protect you and yours.
Your name won't come up in a
Your name won't come up in a background check if you are the victim of a crime, don't worry about that. And if it does, you just explain the situation to your employer.
You guys have waited wayyy too long to get the police involved with this whackadoodle.
Thank You ..
That is my worry I don't know if corporate would understand and so hoped I could put this off until my background check was over. Then if I didn't get the job I would know that I just didn't get the job and not that this anything to do with it.
I am so glad that I reached out and appreciate all of your responses and this forum. As I said above you don't always realize how something sounds until it is mirrored back to you.
Maybe your DH should ditch
Maybe your DH should ditch your cell phones and buy 1 burner phone for the kids to contact you...IF they want to.
You said you cant block her....then get rid of the item that is giving her access to call you. F it...Who cares after 15 years what she thinks of you OR dh. GET police involved ...of you dont then it is on you not her anymore.
Sandy beaches--get rid of the phones.
Getting rid of the cell phones
is not an option. First we use them daily for our jobs and to contact each other make appointments etc.
Not to mention God forbid if either of us ever ended up in danger, we would not have a phone to call for help.
The Doctor is in!!! Ha!
The Doctor is in!!! Ha!
And the Dx is ... BM is batshit crazy. What do you need to know beyond that? Don't give her the space in your head trying to figure out what is wrong with her. Focus on ending her crazy behavior towards you by bringing every legal tool possible to play in making her go away. Bring the pain, apply escalating painful consequences to deliver a state of abject misery that drives her back under her rock and keeps her there.
Focus on you and your family.
Good luck.
Thank you
Thank you good advice! I am just counting the days until the job process is over and then we are going to the police. I can't live like this anymore.
This has taken up way too much of my life you're right. I don't sleep well and I feel like I have PTSD... Just waiting all the time for the other shoe to drop wondering what she is going to do next. . After her crazy rant now she is laying low. I was telling myself maybe she finally gets it as no one responds to her craziness and then I wake up and know that is not true... She is never going to stop on her own. I can't tell you how on edge it makes me feel.