Learning to FINALLY let go

Forums:

Ok, so I shared a story with another poster here on her blog and figured, maybe it just may help others here so I'm going to post it here. If you don't already know, my DD14 left me a few yrs back to live with her dad in Michigan full time due to my constant moving around and living with an abusive ass of a man who was severely hurtful to us both. I see her now during holidays and summers and she's recently asked me to relocate back to MI from my home in Denver. That alone brought about a bunch of guilt and tore me up inside. Along also with my SD14 issues, I was quite a mess until my DH recognized my struggles and helped me.

How I learned to let go:

My DH bought me the best and most thoughtful gift I have ever received in my life: a Monarch butterfly still in it's chrysalis. He said "This symbolizes your past, your regrets, your guilt, your pain and your worries over things you can't control. When the butterfly hatches in a week and you release it, you release all of that tension, guilt, pain, worry. You become yourself. You are reborn. You can't control the situation your daughter is in and you know she's happy, so be happy for her. You can't control SD and BM, so leave that to me. You can't live under this dark cloud of guilt and pain for staying with ex asshole for so long and your daughter has already forgiven you. Now you need to forgive yourself and LET IT ALL GO".

My butterfly hatched yesterday. DH poured us each a glass of wine and brought the butterfly to me. We stood outside on our balcony. He toasted us - to a new me, a FREE me, and I released that butterfly. I can't tell you the emotions I felt watching him fly away. Knowing I could FINALLY forgive myself for my mistakes, my lack of good parenting, my regrets, my guilt, my control over things I didn't need to control or had no real control over. I felt as free as that butterfly fluttering away.

I cried, he held me. We went back inside and talked about our new future together. Free.

If sharing my story can help or soothe anyone then I'm thankful I could help in one small way.

~Mel

Beautiful story! Thanks for

Beautiful story! Thanks for sharing .. you're a very lucky lady to have your DH

I'm going home to hug my DH and my puppies .. life is too short to not love as much as you possibly can

Thanks. I didn't even

Thanks. I didn't even scratch the surface of what I've been through in my life. It's too depressing!

All I know now is at least I don't have to carry the guilt and pain of it anymore. I've left it all behind and the past is the past. I'm looking forward to a beautiful future with my new husband.

It was amazing to see the butterfly hatch, by the way. Such a beautiful sight!

~Mel

Your DH is a

Your DH is a jewel....treasure him as he treasures you!

He is seriously the very

He is seriously the very best! He treats me like a princess but won't put up with crap either, so he's not a pushover. He leaves me little love notes in my truck or tucked in my purse. He posts beautiful messages of love on my facebook wall. Sends me flowers "just because". He's always there for me.

I could go on and on about him. It's amazing, my life with him. I only wish this type of love, trust, commitment and passion for everyone.

It's funny, because he does

It's funny, because he does that a LOT. A lot of my coworkers or girl friends will say "damn, my DH needs to take lessons from yours - he's making ours look bad!"

I just thank my lucky stars every day he came into my life. And it almost didn't happen, thanks to SD14! She ORDERED him to remove his dating profiles online because SHE didn't want him dating yet, SHE wasn't ready!

My email to him got through 30 seconds before his profile disappeared from the website we were on. We met later that night and have been pretty much inseparable ever since. That was 2 yrs ago. We were married in June.