Anytime DH punishes SS he cries crazily for his mother. Every time I take him shopping he says "but my mommy..." or if he is denied something here its "but at mommys house.." not as extreme as your case but it SURE IS annoying to hear him constantly talking about his crazy, pathetic mother all the time. I really don't like hearing about her in my house or listening to him scream for her to try to evade punishment. It's all apart of their manupilutive behavior and it will never go away bc they get what they want from it.

Yup! We used to play that game here, too.
SD claimed she was afraid that someone would break into her house, and kill BM while she was here with her Dad. Her anxiety was very real. Not rational, but still very real to her.
Counseling helped--she was seeing a psychologist for a while. One of the things they did was kept her on a strict schedule of when she could call or text BM. What I saw while all that was at its height, was that talking to BM actually tended to make things WORSE. I think BM was just so delighted that "SD love MEEEEEE better than her Daddy!" that she actually fed into the anxiety, made a big deal of it.
We should have kept that limited communication schedule (see my blog for how that all blew up this weekend), and I think we're going back to that sort of schedule.
The psychologist had her do things like think through how bad being separated from her BM really was. Was it as bad as breaking her leg? He also had her make up a list of things she could do to distract herself when she got anxious (it was usually at/after bedtime.) She would try to get back to sleep for 20 minutes, if that didn't work she could read a book, or she could go on the computer (we had guidelines for that) or she could watch television for 30 minutes, then try again...
She was doing really well, and so the guidelines on calling her BM had been pretty much forgotten.
Sort of, I think BM missed the drama, and was upset that SD and I had been doing things together when DH has to work on "her" Saturdays.
(He *always* asks me first, if I'm willing to spend the day with SD, otherwise, he WILL make other arrangements. IF I agree to spend time with her, it's my call on what we choose to do...)

7 year schedule...No this child is trying to make a point...My SD now 10 did the exact same thing right down to the stomach aches..so after months and months of us trying to deal with this and trying to figure out what to do, it all started again and SD had only been with us for 1 hour and the nonsense started again, she was crying beyond control and said I miss my mommy, I miss my mommy...SD was 7 at the time..DH was not sure what to say or what to do..so he told her that's it I'm taking back to your moms. We took her back to her BM's (BM was not happy as she had plans to go drinking that night)anyway we didnt pick her up for 1 month and we told her you do this again and you can stay at your moms....we told her we love you and we want you with us but we will not put up with this any longer...

SD did do it twice since then and both times we turned around and dropped her right back at her moms and didnt pick her up for a few weeks,she soon realized that we would not put up with her behaviour and hasnt done it since.......and now that she's 10 she wants to come over all the time...so things do change..hang in there and let the skids know you are not going to play these games...

chin up and hang in there......

Oh forgot to mention that SD doesn't call her mom at all unless she is with us for an extended period of time..because when she did call her mom it made things worse..so we stopped that...

SS10 had the same issue when we first started week on/week off. He even threw up a few times. :sick:
It's normal because the stress causes the same issues that we may have if we were totally stressed: indigestion and acid reflux.
the crying is an attention tactic. We started telling him that if he needed to calm down, he could go to his room until he was able to have a nice conversation without crying. When he realized he wasn't getting any attention for crying, he stopped after the 4th or 5th time.
Another thing I had a conversation with SS10 about was why he liked his mom's better. There, he shares a room with SS15, so is never alone and is afraid of sleeping alone here. When we moved the dog's kennel into his room, it made him feel alot better. Also, he liked it there because she never yells at him. So, for a while I started all of my discipline and correction with "I love you very much, but you've done something wrong and for every wrong thing, there is a consequence." He even said to me once last week when I said no to something "I know it's just because you don't want me to get hurt."
I also think that as SPs we can be overly sensitive to some of the things skids say and do. Don't let it get to you so much. They'll grow out of it if we show them love and have lots of conversations about what we're doing and why. It doesn't happen overnight, but if you stick with it, they'll learn.

Not sure how I feel if this is an attention thing. DD18 cried more after coming home from her dad. When I picked her up from him she would spend the better part of the day trip home crying (my half of the drive was usually 11 hours with her. After that she cried mostly at night, right before bed for the better part of a week or two. I am the CP though-

SD however when she was about 12 came over for and would break out in hives at bedtime, cried and carried on for almost 2 months (visits were EOW so 8 times). Her mom just had a guy move in though and I think (but we weren't told) he was emotionally abusive. She was worried her mom would get hurt while she was with us.