If I found naked pictures of BM on my DH's phone, the phone would probably be broken in a million pieces from the force of me throwing it against then nearest wall. No excuse for this - none.

To put this in context, I never throw out pictures of the printed on paper kind. For some reason it seems like bad mojo. I have pictures of my ex-husbands (fully clothed) in photo albums buried in a trunk. They were, at one point in time, an important part of my life. About once a decade I might look at them. DH has old pictures in a box in the basement that include some of his ex. As far as I know he has looked at them once since we have been together.

This is way different than pictures on a phone that is used daily. Sure, the pictures might not be looked at daily - but they are easily accessible. I wouldn't accept the "I forgot to delete them" excuse - as long as you have apparently been together he has had plenty of time to delete them.

I know the general consensus is people shouldn't tell you how to feel. But I think If you didn't have a negative reaction to this - there would be something wrong! Of course you are having a negative reaction to your husband having naked pictures of his ex on his phone! If it were me - you can bet there would be a confrontation and it would not be pretty.

... for quite awhile. I would not expect you to have a huge emotional reaction to this "discovery." Who cares?

Your H is a dud. I understand the betrayal you must be feeling (that’s how I’d feel if I found naked pics of BM on DH’s phone. Repulsed & betrayed), but you’ve been wanting to leave for a while. Maybe it’s time to really consider your options.

I'm the person who doesn't have time to move her pictures from the mobile to the computer. Maybe he's the same. Nevertheless, it's his past, his memories! It is not ok to force someone to delete pictures from their past....

PS: I also have pictures with all my exes, but it's stupid to even think I still have feelings for them. *nea*

PS 2: Let him have that "picture of her standing up butt naked in the kitchen and in her underwear without a top in their bedroom." You never know when that can be usefull: custody lawsuits, blackmail ...... *diablo* - just kidding )

I would be beyond livid. There is no excuse for this. 

Well, I know my DH would not have pictures of naked BM in his phone, but he does have lots of pictures in print and digital pictures of their time together. It was an important part of his life. I don’t compare the number of pictures he has of her to how many he has of me  

I also wouldn’t be going through his phone without permission, so I have mixed feelings here. If you snoop,  you have to deal with what you find.  

I just went back and read another one of your blogs about wanting to leave. Have you been able to find a job? How is your relationship with your parents and/or brother/sisters? What about your in-laws? Can you move in with any of them until you get on your feet. Your DH is a bum. Chances are he won't be able to afford a lawyer you fight you for custody. File yourself and file first. You are documenting his neglect with your son and SS. Get BM on your side too- I am sure that she would love to help you in court. Most BM's would have no problem getting one over on their Ex. Plus if you testify for her she would probably be relieved to know her son won't be neglected by him either. 

Kind of depends on if you think the nudes were intentionally kept or if you think he just didnt realize they were and would have no problem deleting them if you asked. 

The hospital ones...well I personally wouldnt get rid of the ones from when my son was born even though it makes me cringe to see his dad in them. 

Maybe he could save them somewhere online or on a disc or something instead of having them on his phone that he uses on a daily basis. 

First question??? Are you saving to prepare for changes in your life , as you posted before?  

Look forward and set yourself goals.  There are too many red flags in in your marriage for you NOT to consider taking serious saving and planning action to be able to move forward.  If you begin with a SERIOUS plan, it will help get.the plan in action.  Doesn't mean you won't stay, just be prepared to leave.  

It is known as "an ace up your sleeve".  I have tried to always do this, and still do after 15 years, first marriage and 39 years of marriage now.  Come on, get serious about taking care of yourself.  

(((Hugs))))

Add this to the growing list of reasons you have to leave this shmuck. I don't think anyone could convince me that in 3 YEARS, your DH has never once looked through the pictures on his phone and just didn't realize they were on there. I have looked through my pictures approximately 150 times in the past 3 years, looking for something in particular, and my SO has too. He knows they're there. I would absolutely be mad about this.

But in the scheme of things, this is small potatoes. The fact that he is a complete dud of a father and husband is the biggest concern. I too am curious about if you are still planning on leaving?  

LMAO. He would no longer have a phone. There's more forms of cheating than just physical. There's emotional too. To me, this feels too much like lusting for your past. Your DH honestly shouldn't have ANY pictures of BM on his phone, let alone nudes! If he wants to PRINT the baby ones for SS when he's older (and keep them in a box in a far corner of the house or in SS's room) then that's fine. But something like that. There are ZERO excuses for that.

To me, I see it as a form of emotional infidelity. And cheating of any kind isn't tolerable. Period.

I haven't read your blogs, but these should have been gone a long time ago. Pictures of HER while you were married? Nope I would delete every single one. I believe in moving on when you find "the one".  My husband's ex harrassed us when we got together for sometime. Her pictures are all gone.  I highly doubt he's going to say anything to you after you delete them because he was caught red handed. 

My DH can read anything of mine EXCEPT this site.  I wouldn't go crazy if he found this site, but I like being able to totally rant over his utterly worthless son.  I don't do that in real life out of respect for my DH.  He knows his son is flawed; I don't like to rub salt in the wounds.

If I found pictures like that (which is not going to happen since DH has no pictures on his 8 year old flip phone), I'd just delete them.

My DH knows my password to my phone. But I still expect that he would not go in there without asking me, and he expects the same from me.

If I felt the need to snoop through his phone, I would know the relationship was over.