BM just texted SO with a demand that he allow her to pick up SD at 6:45 AM tomorrow. The text message came in at 10:30 PM. In your opinion, when is it to late to contact a person for a non-emergency question or favor?
He told her that unless it is an emergency, she is not to contact us after 9:00 PM. Our court order does not say anything about contacting us, and we go to bed early since we both work very early during the week. She tried to make an excuse and he firmly told her not contact again. I was so proud of him.
DH turns his phone off at 9pm, and we go to bed. I think it is unacceptable for non emergency contact to happen as late as you describe. Especially if it comes in the form of a demand rather than "so sorry to bother you this late, but would you mind...."
It all depends on what time you go to bed and if the ex knows that or not. That's not late to me, but obviously it is to you and that's all that matters. But would 6 am have been too early to receive a call or text? It would have for me! LOL
Nobody that isn't family should be contacting me or DH after 9 PM. That's my cool down time. So sorry BM, if you call that late there won't be an answer.
My parents & in laws sometimes call later. Mostly my mom to check on me because I am pregnant & dealing with morning sickness. & my in laws because they are in a different time zone.
I don't even answer my own families texts/calls after a certain time. I do, however, take call for work so I have to at least glance at the phone to see who it is.
My ex and I limit our exchanges as little as possible, so no experience there. And IMHO BM isn't rly a mom, she hardly ever spends time with her kid. She will call at a decent hour, to plan to drop SD off at wacky hours. She works a part-time 3rd shift job so she will every great once in awhile want to drop SD off between 12:30-1am...something I think is wrong. Poor kid...but its not my place to say and DH acts like its normal. He's been dealing with it the whole time so I guess he doesn't think about it. I've thrown comments out about how she would spend more time with SD if she would look for a 1st shift job, but she's all about herself and social hours and 3rd shift work fits more in with that. All I've gotta say is...scum bucket.
I guess her mother is in town, and she wanted SD to spend some time with her. Having SD ready for a 6:45 AM pickup is not an issue. If we would have known about it sooner, we would have had her ready. She claims that she didn't know about the visit until 10:30 PM...which is total bull. This is not the first time BM has demanded we allow her to pick SD up earlier through a text message the night before. It pisses me off. (This was before CO) Now that we have a custody order that states SD is to be dropped off and picked up at her before/after school care program, SO basically told her that she could pick SD up anytime after he drops her off at before/after school program at 7:45 AM.
I often wonder this same thing. What should be the guidelines for texting or calling? My BM texts almost every morning before 6:00 am. It drives me crazy. My DH does not turn his phone of because we do not have a home phone and if there is actually an emergency, he wants to know. He turns it on vibrate, but it still wakes us up. I am convinced she does it on Saturday mornings just to make us mad. The text is always about the skids, but is by no means an emergency. So how do you get them to stop??
Tell them to communicate all non-emergencies via email. Each time they send a non-emergency text, send an email during your acceptable time frame requesting they not do that. If the problem persists, block the number from texting.
Stuff that - that's way too late and she probably knows it. I liked DH's response
BM USED to send stupid texts like this to us when we first moved into our new home. One night she sent a text at 9.45pm to tell us that "skids need winter clothes". Mind you - this was during summer. Stupid controlling bitch trying to show me she still controls SO. He didn't even bother to respond that night, but next day sent her an email giving her a virtual slap. Email went something along the lines ...
"do NOT ever send me an SMS that's not an emergency that late at night again. Islandgal and I value our private time and your text was completely meaningless. If you have anything relevant to discuss abut skids, send me an email and stop trying to interfere with our lives". Boy! She did NOT like that and went into petty bitchy mode - sending emails about more crap. He only responds if it's vital - otherwise, she gets ignored.
He told her that unless it is
He told her that unless it is an emergency, she is not to contact us after 9:00 PM. Our court order does not say anything about contacting us, and we go to bed early since we both work very early during the week. She tried to make an excuse and he firmly told her not contact again. I was so proud of him.
DH turns his phone off at
DH turns his phone off at 9pm, and we go to bed. I think it is unacceptable for non emergency contact to happen as late as you describe. Especially if it comes in the form of a demand rather than "so sorry to bother you this late, but would you mind...."
It all depends on what time
It all depends on what time you go to bed and if the ex knows that or not. That's not late to me, but obviously it is to you and that's all that matters. But would 6 am have been too early to receive a call or text? It would have for me! LOL
Nobody that isn't family
Nobody that isn't family should be contacting me or DH after 9 PM. That's my cool down time. So sorry BM, if you call that late there won't be an answer.
My parents & in laws sometimes call later. Mostly my mom to check on me because I am pregnant & dealing with morning sickness. & my in laws because they are in a different time zone.
I don't even answer my own
I don't even answer my own families texts/calls after a certain time. I do, however, take call for work so I have to at least glance at the phone to see who it is.
My ex and I limit our exchanges as little as possible, so no experience there. And IMHO BM isn't rly a mom, she hardly ever spends time with her kid. She will call at a decent hour, to plan to drop SD off at wacky hours. She works a part-time 3rd shift job so she will every great once in awhile want to drop SD off between 12:30-1am...something I think is wrong. Poor kid...but its not my place to say and DH acts like its normal. He's been dealing with it the whole time so I guess he doesn't think about it. I've thrown comments out about how she would spend more time with SD if she would look for a 1st shift job, but she's all about herself and social hours and 3rd shift work fits more in with that. All I've gotta say is...scum bucket.
I guess her mother is in
I guess her mother is in town, and she wanted SD to spend some time with her. Having SD ready for a 6:45 AM pickup is not an issue. If we would have known about it sooner, we would have had her ready. She claims that she didn't know about the visit until 10:30 PM...which is total bull. This is not the first time BM has demanded we allow her to pick SD up earlier through a text message the night before. It pisses me off. (This was before CO) Now that we have a custody order that states SD is to be dropped off and picked up at her before/after school care program, SO basically told her that she could pick SD up anytime after he drops her off at before/after school program at 7:45 AM.
I often wonder this same
I often wonder this same thing. What should be the guidelines for texting or calling? My BM texts almost every morning before 6:00 am. It drives me crazy. My DH does not turn his phone of because we do not have a home phone and if there is actually an emergency, he wants to know. He turns it on vibrate, but it still wakes us up. I am convinced she does it on Saturday mornings just to make us mad. The text is always about the skids, but is by no means an emergency. So how do you get them to stop??
Tell them to communicate all
Tell them to communicate all non-emergencies via email. Each time they send a non-emergency text, send an email during your acceptable time frame requesting they not do that. If the problem persists, block the number from texting.
If BM sent us a text at 10:pm
If BM sent us a text at 10:pm asking for a 6:45am pick up, we wouldn't even get the text until after that time had passed.
8:30pm to 8:30am are off limits for non-emergencies.
That's too late, unless you
That's too late, unless you have an extraordinarily cordial relationship and it's an emergency.
Stuff that - that's way too
Stuff that - that's way too late and she probably knows it. I liked DH's response
BM USED to send stupid texts like this to us when we first moved into our new home. One night she sent a text at 9.45pm to tell us that "skids need winter clothes". Mind you - this was during summer. Stupid controlling bitch trying to show me she still controls SO. He didn't even bother to respond that night, but next day sent her an email giving her a virtual slap. Email went something along the lines ...
"do NOT ever send me an SMS that's not an emergency that late at night again. Islandgal and I value our private time and your text was completely meaningless. If you have anything relevant to discuss abut skids, send me an email and stop trying to interfere with our lives". Boy! She did NOT like that and went into petty bitchy mode - sending emails about more crap. He only responds if it's vital - otherwise, she gets ignored.