Ok here goes, first of all don't you love it when you have a question and it is too late to bug them? Grrrrr! Also this does not involve me but a couple that DH and I both know who are now broken up (never married) have two kids and dad is married to someone else and BM is single. They have a five year old son and an older boy in like grade three I think?? Anyways, they are in this absolutely immature ridic custody battle. They go to court atleast three times year and the money they are spending is insane! They are not to have any contact beyond news about kids via email that they are not delete. Well they email each other many times daily, yes daily! They accuse each other of anything you can think with neither one having any proof of anything. Each one claims the kids told on the other parent etc. Each claims the kids hate the other, they call each other terrible names and they each have forwarded thousands of messages to the kids schools, the guardian, and their lawyers. What is wrong with these people? My question is they have court again in March, the date is set, so what is the guardian going to say or do with thousands of terrible name calling harassing emails that they are BOTH guilty of? They can to agree one any one damn thing! They are both like the typical BMs here and I really wonder if they are not secretely each still in love with the other or something like that because neither is acting rationally. Has anyone heard of a situation like this? Usually what I see is one part is cray cray and the other is not! But this is both and sometimes the new wife too. They were just fighting for two days on email about weather step mom was a party to this case. I find it sad and mostly shocking and DH thinks they are both good people who just do not mesh will and never will. So what does the court do with stuff like this? Thanks I am super duper curious!
In my area, if you are not married and fighting over kids, it goes to separate court that hears these cases, they are not public record. Also they are not going to court to change custody so many times a year, more like trying to get one or the other with contempt filing motions for whatever and also trying order things like drug testing evaluations etc, requesting change of this or that, ultimately yes they are fighting over the kids each one would like to have sole custody but that wont happen as far as I can guess. Neither one has criminal records or anything just ugly things they accuse each other of with no proof at all. I would not consider them friends really, they are a former couple that we see at different events, there are somethings we have to go go to and they are also there. I am trying to be just a bit vague as they are both so nutty who knows what pages they would come across looking for help in wrecking each other you see? I just really want to know when Guardians and Judges come across these toxic people who fight all day every day, can they both be punished somehow? Can they have huge bills or does that all fall on tax payers and these people are free to keep this crap up for years to come? How do theses things gets resolved or does it just keep up until kids age out of this disgraceful fights? We were somewhere recently where the father tried to talk to DH and DH just said "you know what man that's a shame what you guys are doing" I have also said similar things in the past. There is a long story though why I am asking today. And like you said kids get destroyed, both kids are cute and nice but I can just see how damaged and hurt they are. One of their kids belongs to something that one my steps belong to as well. Its just all so sad for the kids and waste of money for everyone involved because neither idiot will give an inch, so how do these things play out?
Nope, SM is not a party to the case. I was told repeatedly that as Step Dad I was not a party to the case.
Other than to lecture both parties the court will very likely do nothing with any of the toxic communication. In our sitution my bride and I were very professional in our communication with the Sperm Idiot and broader Sperm Clan. The Sperm Clan on the other hand were very vitriolic in their communication with us.
The judge yelled at them a bit for their toxic bullshit then proceeded to rule "like I (he) always do in these situtions." My bride was reconfirmed at the sole legal and physical custodian of the kid, the Sperm Idiot got limited visitation and paid CS, and though he had just shredded the Sperm Clan for their vitriolic crap he commended that "any child would be blessed to have the love and support of this fine family".
As toxic and disgusting as the behavior of both of these people has been in my experience not much is likely to come from it.
This is even more sad! I assumed the judge would lay the smack down on both for being so stupid, but no they get to keep this up for as long as they like? Terrible! Would any normal woman want to be married to a man that is fighting with his ex multiple times a day via email? I dont think so! And what adult can sit at work reading and sending over and over again? I would have thought a judge would/could force some kind of counseling? Or something for the sake of the kids when their parents foolishness is wrecking kids lives. The kids are not even in counseling over this! Its just awful! I am not perfect my ex was very very mad at me when I left him and he tried to fight with me I ignored he gave up it sucked for a while now things are just fine. But if I had engaged in high conflict with him, we may still be fighting. Instead I cleaned up my own side of the street and kept to myself instead of worrying about what he was doing. What makes some people like this? Seemingly so normal then you find out they are both emailing the teachers to put each other down! So gross.
Ok here goes, first of all
Ok here goes, first of all don't you love it when you have a question and it is too late to bug them? Grrrrr! Also this does not involve me but a couple that DH and I both know who are now broken up (never married) have two kids and dad is married to someone else and BM is single. They have a five year old son and an older boy in like grade three I think?? Anyways, they are in this absolutely immature ridic custody battle. They go to court atleast three times year and the money they are spending is insane! They are not to have any contact beyond news about kids via email that they are not delete. Well they email each other many times daily, yes daily! They accuse each other of anything you can think with neither one having any proof of anything. Each one claims the kids told on the other parent etc. Each claims the kids hate the other, they call each other terrible names and they each have forwarded thousands of messages to the kids schools, the guardian, and their lawyers. What is wrong with these people? My question is they have court again in March, the date is set, so what is the guardian going to say or do with thousands of terrible name calling harassing emails that they are BOTH guilty of? They can to agree one any one damn thing! They are both like the typical BMs here and I really wonder if they are not secretely each still in love with the other or something like that because neither is acting rationally. Has anyone heard of a situation like this? Usually what I see is one part is cray cray and the other is not! But this is both and sometimes the new wife too. They were just fighting for two days on email about weather step mom was a party to this case. I find it sad and mostly shocking and DH thinks they are both good people who just do not mesh will and never will. So what does the court do with stuff like this? Thanks I am super duper curious!
In my area, if you are not
In my area, if you are not married and fighting over kids, it goes to separate court that hears these cases, they are not public record. Also they are not going to court to change custody so many times a year, more like trying to get one or the other with contempt filing motions for whatever and also trying order things like drug testing evaluations etc, requesting change of this or that, ultimately yes they are fighting over the kids each one would like to have sole custody but that wont happen as far as I can guess. Neither one has criminal records or anything just ugly things they accuse each other of with no proof at all. I would not consider them friends really, they are a former couple that we see at different events, there are somethings we have to go go to and they are also there. I am trying to be just a bit vague as they are both so nutty who knows what pages they would come across looking for help in wrecking each other you see? I just really want to know when Guardians and Judges come across these toxic people who fight all day every day, can they both be punished somehow? Can they have huge bills or does that all fall on tax payers and these people are free to keep this crap up for years to come? How do theses things gets resolved or does it just keep up until kids age out of this disgraceful fights? We were somewhere recently where the father tried to talk to DH and DH just said "you know what man that's a shame what you guys are doing" I have also said similar things in the past. There is a long story though why I am asking today. And like you said kids get destroyed, both kids are cute and nice but I can just see how damaged and hurt they are. One of their kids belongs to something that one my steps belong to as well. Its just all so sad for the kids and waste of money for everyone involved because neither idiot will give an inch, so how do these things play out?
Nope, SM is not a party to
Nope, SM is not a party to the case. I was told repeatedly that as Step Dad I was not a party to the case.
Other than to lecture both parties the court will very likely do nothing with any of the toxic communication. In our sitution my bride and I were very professional in our communication with the Sperm Idiot and broader Sperm Clan. The Sperm Clan on the other hand were very vitriolic in their communication with us.
The judge yelled at them a bit for their toxic bullshit then proceeded to rule "like I (he) always do in these situtions." My bride was reconfirmed at the sole legal and physical custodian of the kid, the Sperm Idiot got limited visitation and paid CS, and though he had just shredded the Sperm Clan for their vitriolic crap he commended that "any child would be blessed to have the love and support of this fine family".
As toxic and disgusting as the behavior of both of these people has been in my experience not much is likely to come from it.
I think they probably still
I think they probably still have some feelings for each other, but it also sounds like they are very toxic for each other.
This is even more sad! I
This is even more sad! I assumed the judge would lay the smack down on both for being so stupid, but no they get to keep this up for as long as they like? Terrible! Would any normal woman want to be married to a man that is fighting with his ex multiple times a day via email? I dont think so! And what adult can sit at work reading and sending over and over again? I would have thought a judge would/could force some kind of counseling? Or something for the sake of the kids when their parents foolishness is wrecking kids lives. The kids are not even in counseling over this! Its just awful! I am not perfect my ex was very very mad at me when I left him and he tried to fight with me I ignored he gave up it sucked for a while now things are just fine. But if I had engaged in high conflict with him, we may still be fighting. Instead I cleaned up my own side of the street and kept to myself instead of worrying about what he was doing. What makes some people like this? Seemingly so normal then you find out they are both emailing the teachers to put each other down! So gross.