Let me start be saying, I Love my DH with every fiber of my being. He is a wonderful man, kind, gentle, sweet, honest, loving, everything I could ask for! A true southern gentleman.
BUT, his girls are NOTHING like him. They are down rite rotten, thanks to bm. If it was up to me I'd have nothing to do with them. They have stolen from me. Every word that falls out of their whiny mouths is pretty much a lie(per ex-mil). If they were my bd's friends they would never be allowed back to my house.
We get them eow, and by tuesday of the week we get them I am sick to my stomach with dread.
Bm encourages their bad behavior. I'm sure of this because sd8 has told me as much. She has told them to break my things, tear up photos of dh and I, you name it they have done it!
I've tried so hard to make myself love, or even just like these children, and I can not! I don't understand how I can love someone so much, but at the same time dis-like his kids? It makes me feel guilty, just typing it down here. He is wonderful to my bio-kids, I have 6! And he welcomed them with open arms. Why can't I do the same for two little girls?
The sight of them hugging "Daddy" or sitting on his lap make me want to pull my hair out and scream "get off of him!" I feel like they don't deserve such a wonderful father. Maybe if they were good kids I'd feel differently, I just don't know because, they're not. He sees them as perfect. He even told me once he wanted to put the older one in a pageant. She has a lazy eye and is really over weight and just NOT an attractive child. Sd5 maybe. But her no. I just shook my head and left the room. They both look just like bm, not a good thing for them, poor girls.
The only emotion I can muster up for them is pity. Had they been raised by dh, they would be better behaved.
We are picking them up this afternoon, its our weekend. And I'll have to force a smile and act excited to see them. But inside I'm just wishing they weren't here, wishing sunday would hurry up and then they can be gone. That's how I get through the weekends they are here, only x-more hours till they're gone.
My other wise stress-less marriage is a wreck when those monsters are here, they play dh and I against one another. Try to get us to argue, and if we do, I've actually seen them smiling about it, like "haha we got you to fight" it is infuriating. I can't make dh see any of it.
Does any one have advice on how I can at the very least force myself to like these girls? I'm lost