He treats BM better than me
My husband has two children with his ex (his ex left him when their children were toddlers and he is now stuck being a full time dad because she is "depressed" even though she is successful in her career, travels and has an active social life on the weekends. She sees her kids a couple of hours week). He has never been angry towards he though she was a terrible mother and wife. Im not preaching to hate your ex but something doesnt add up. Ive since discovered they are friendly and he treats her better than he treats me. He also withholds information about her from me and the things they do together or discuss. If he has something to do that involves her schedule he makes sure she gets to see her kids and blows me off and expects me to be ok with change of plans and times at the last minute. If I stand up for myself and say its not going to work for me he says he wants a divorce and he says Ill never understand what its like to be with someone who has a past. This seems harsh and unfair beause yes everyday of my lfie I understand what its like to be with someone who has a past. My stepkids remind me of this daily and so does society. I feel he treats her better than he treats me and she doesnt deserve it.
I was about to say just that.
I was about to say just that. She left him because she noticed how he treated her once they were married. She was better off not being married to him and being his friend. Also she sounds selfish and has issues. Both sound very narcissistic and selfish. Maybe they are meant to be together in their own misery. lol.
Sounds like you are nothing but a nanny.
Who also provides him benefits in bed. He is not much of a husband to you, is he?
How did you not know how friendly he was with his ex before you married him? I certainly would have gotten that question answered before I said "I do." After all, traditional marriage vows say, "Forsaking all others." Sounds like he has not forsaken her at all.
A man who would threaten you with a divorce for asserting your equal rights in a marriage is not a man at all - he's a dictator. Maybe you should call his bluff and next time he threatens divorce, tell him that sounds like the best course of action and you will be contacting an attorney. Then do it.
Or else resign yourself to the fact that you will never be anything more than a housekeeper/nanny who provides him with sex. Is that what you want for yourself?
Dump him. He's a
Dump him. He's a manipulative user. Just tell him that you've seen the light and now agree that divorce is the answer.
His relationship with his ex is the PRESENT not the past.
If my DH EVER said to me that
If my DH EVER said to me that maybe we should just get a divorce instead of trying to work out a problem, that's exactly what I'd be doing.
Why do you stay?
Divorce is way too easy for
Divorce is way too easy for him to bring up, he holds that over you in a way I'd call emotional abuse, or at the very least he's sm emotional bully. You need to get him and you into counseling. That way ya'll can work through your insecurities, but he need to work through using divorce as a threat, which feeds your insecurities
Next time he offers divorce.
Next time he offers divorce. Give him one warning and tell him if he brings it up again you'll be taking him up on it. Then follow thorugh. That's gaslighting. And it's not okay. My Dh attempted that a total of 1 times two weeks after we got married. I told him that if he brought that up again i'd assume he doens't want to be married to me and i don't believe in being in a marriage both aren't compeltley dedicated to. He never threatened that again.