Having a back up plan when moving in with BF and his kids
My boyfriend has asked me to move into his home with him and his 3 teens in a couple of months. We all get along fine when I am there every weekend. However, I realize moving in is a different ballgame. I am concerned how things could go after moving in and living with them full time (especially after what I read on here). I would like to keep my current place for a couple of months and ask him to let me live with them for a couple of months but not charge me rent so I can keep my old place in case we have big problems in just the first 2 months. I do realize there is no guarantee that things will work out in the long term and issues could come up well after 2 months. I feel better having a "safety net" as I have a large dog and finding a rental that will allow him will not be easy and I don't want to be stuck in a bad situation if things go downhill early on. I think it would be fair to ask him this based on the fact I am the one that would be in a bad position if things go bad quickly, not him. Is this too much to ask? I also feel since he supported his ex-wife with temp alimony for several years, he should be willing to support me for a couple of months so I will have a place to live if we find after a couple of months it won't work with the 5 of us living together. By the way, I do share in entertainment and gift expenses for his kids and share in paying for date nights too, so I am not stingy with my money.
I am curious, what do you
I am curious, what do you mean by "all hell broke loose"? What type of situations occured after all being fine for 8 months? Did the kids start being disrespectful or mean to you and their father allowed it?
Wow-I'm so sorry to hear
Wow-I'm so sorry to hear that. Not pleasant at all.
OMG-that would make me throw
OMG-that would make me throw up!!! LOL
He actually just bought a
He actually just bought a home. So he thought this was a good timing as it would be a new home for all of us.
I agree with some of the
I agree with some of the other posters. Get a place together. Don't move into his place.
I moved into SO's apartment. Mind you, a place he only had for 1yr and I had been a part since the beginning (just not living there).
But still, it was all his rules and his way. Kids in our room ALLLLL the time. To the point that I walked in on SD (then 7) masturbating on our bed.
We got OUR place about 6 months later. While there are still problems, at least I don't have kids in my room ever.
Don't do it. Skids on
Don't do it. Skids on occassion when you are visiting dad's home are one thing. When they live with you it is completely different!
I've just (fingers crossed) got YSS19 out of the house and into a shared flat. It'll be much better for him to live with non family.
Your BF has full custody and
Your BF has full custody and BM lives out of state? There is no way in hell I would move in.
Seriously, just keep your own place and continue on like you're doing (at least until his kids are off to college or whatever). Living together is highly overrated.
Dont do it. I moved in with
Dont do it.
I moved in with SO and his teenage skids that we all got on well.
Moved back out after 5 months.
I luckily kept my property.
Teenagers are awful especially if they are girls. They view you as the enemy if you set rules etc
Heck, I can hardly stand
Heck, I can hardly stand living with my own teenage kids, and I have authority over them!
I have my own home with my
I have my own home with my child, BF has his own home and even thought its tough financially right now to maintain two separate houses that's the way it is going to stay. I know we have issues to work out even though BF is an ostrich. Hopefully, your SO isn't a disney dad, doesn't live in a shrine to the "one-and-only" and doesn't have a coven for ex-inlaws. I guess my only advice is to think long and hard about it and Yes Yes Yes keep your own place for at least 3 months to see how it goes. I don't think that is unreasonable at all.