Halloween is in a few days and I will be out of town. This year DH has SD6 and SS4 for trick or treating which he's really excited for. We don't have a great relationship with BM mostly bc BM has emotional connection and co-dependency issues with DH. Her requests are never about the kids, but about creating family moments with skids and DH. She madeir known a month ago that she wanted to see the skids on Halloween since they would be with us. We sent her a message stating since she requested to see the kids that we should split the evening. She can pick the kids up from school and have them until 6:30pm and then DH will pick them up and have them for the balance of the evening. She responded that she just wants to come to our house for pics and leave. We responded with if its only pics you want you can take them in the morning since she will have to dress them up for school. She is now clearly upset and feels we are not being fair but has given us no valid reason as to why it's so important for her to come over. Am I being petty and should I relent or should I uphold this boundary as I'm so tired of being a doormat.