DH and I stopped gifting the adult dhildren several years back. Christmas was for the grandchildren and so we would send each grandchild money for the parent to buy something for the child. At the beginning of our marriage I had pointed out that with his 4 girls and their 7 children it was getting out of hand. I also had 5 grown children and several expected grandchildren. That was 14 years ago.

Our finances have been joint for years. We do not live in any luxury. We are retired and surviving. As for retirement savings---they went down the drain with the ecconomy. I am more of the planner and he lives for the day.

Presently with his 11 grandchildren {several who are now adults} and his 3 great grandchildren plus I now have 9 grandchildren the amount of people to send checks to just keeps rising at a time when we can least afford it.

DH has contact with his family once a year. He is the one who makes the 3 hour drive to visit them. In the last 5 years they have never made the effort to visit him. He does not return with even so much as a token present.

This year he decided to include checks for the same amount also to the half siblings of his great grandchildren, His idea is that he should be equally fair to these children since they live in the household with his grandson.

Am I being nit picky or do any of you see a problem coming down the horizon? To me,

I think adult grandkids that never so much as offer a token gift or have contact should be off the list. They are adults and christmas is for the children.

Everyone of his 11 grandchildren are from non marriage situations. Everyone of his greatgrandchildren are from non marriage situations. And now he is going to start giving equally to the children of the person they hook up with at the present time? He does not want these other children to feel bad when his own bio great grandchild receives something from him. I would think it a slap in the face when his own is smart enough to realize that the other kids are getting another whole christmas from their own set of family members. Why should these others get equally what their own bio gets?

This is the firt year of this happening. But I see problems coming down the road when he realizes he then needs to give everyone of his adult grandchildren extra cash for the young ones that are the products of the person they presently hooked up with. It is a world of baby daddy"s

What a mess I see coming. Any thoughts or ideas????