Feelings of Insecurity Over SD's Upcoming Birth - And Sick of the Drama Behind It
19yo SD is due in about 3 weeks.
And I have to say - I wish I could fast forward past the birth. Sad to say but I have no desire whatsoever to be hanging out in the hospital, waiting on the birth, with her piece of trash mother and her family. I have nothing but disgust for this woman. Scum of the earth. She has tried on numerous occasions to cause so much trouble for my husband and me - yet I keep getting told "that's just how she is".
So, I'm expected to sit and wait with my DH so he can see his grandchild. I'd much rather wait on her to have the baby and go visit her at her house. I really don't show much excitement towards this birth due to the SD being just like her mother - a liar and drama queen. This birth will be memorable...SD crying like she's a princess and her mother crying because her 'baby' had a baby, all the while happy she's going to be able to live off my SD's welfare and WICK donations. She is disgusting..does not work, sells her prescribed narcotics, grows marijuana...and feels her and my DH are just such good friends. And to save face, my DH keeps quiet most of the time.
I know he's wanting me to save my own face and just along for the birth but he has NO idea what it feels like to sit with this woman for any length of time. This trailer trash tramp has threatened me only after she sent texts to me trying to stir the pot - I made DH aware of it, he jumped her about it, then she said she was going to kill me. She is worthless and a waste of skin and life.
She is such a fake and I am beginning to see her daughter as a huge fake as well. I used to wonder if I was not liking his daughter due to her mother, but his daughter's actions have spoken LOUDLY for herself. She has proven herself a liar and trouble starter so I know now she enjoys that kind of dysfunction. She hardly acknowledges me and for me to be hanging over a hospital bed acting all happy and motivated is going to be hard for me.
This is gonna be hard and I am just not looking forward to it.
The sad part?
This is an innocent, darling baby coming into the world..I feel SO guilty for how I'm feeling. Why can't I be more happy about a child? I just know she will use her son as a way to make my DH feel more guilty about being with me and saying he doesn't see her enough..which in turn will cause him more guilt. Guilt over not seeing his grandson enough due to him living an hour away.
Thoughts?
Why do these people seem to
Why do these people seem to reproduce more and faster than others? If its that uncomfortable, then don't go. The baby may be born perfect, but from the moment its in its mom's hands s So is their development. And they will be much like them in time. She's your DH's daughter and ex-wife, let him deal with them. While a birth is an important event, does the cattiness out-weigh the uncomfortable tension?
My husband has the mentality
My husband has the mentality it's about his daughter..not about his ex being there. And while that may be true - he just has no idea how it feels to be in my shoes.
I have a 20 year old daughter..her father has not been in her life for 5 years. Just walked away from her due to my divorcing him over his infidelities. I don't associate with him in any manner. Therefore, my DH does not have to go thru what I do with his ex and her antics. My daughter really likes my DH and feels comfortable with him...has never given him any problem whatsoever.
He may think I should be an adult and overlook his ex and daughter..but unless he was in my shoes he just cannot feel what I feel. I pretty much have decided I'll go visit her once the baby is home. I know he won't like it but I'm not going to be made to feel that it's okay to keep shoving the BM down my throat. I love him but this is too much to ask I think.
I can relate to your
I can relate to your situation. Everytime my stepdaughter produced another illegimate welfare baby with unknown father and my husband and his ex rushed down to the hospital excited and elated awaiting the big anticipated birth, I always managed to have to work overtime or have to check on my elderly father or anything rather than go to the hospital. There was no way I could fake being happy for this innocent child born into this sad mess. I couldn't have kept my mouth shut because it digusted me so much so I knew it was better i stayed away.
Thanks all for listening. I
Thanks all for listening. I sure do appreciate it.
I guess I just feel so guilty...this child is so innocent and I'm not wanting to be there for his first day on the planet. And I owe it all to his grandmother and her dysfunction.
How in the world will I have any kind of normal relationship with this child as long as my SD and her mother are the way they are? I just feel no matter what I do, I'll always be the bad guy.
And my DH wants so bad for things to be just "OK" - I have to remind him things will never be okay as long as the BM is involved. The sooner he learns that, the better.
I'm a good person and I feel this poor child will miss out on that due to the way things are..makes me feel very sad.
Thanks naturalmom. I guess I
Thanks naturalmom.
I guess I look at life where I think we want good people and positive influences around us. I know I have so much to offer a young child and yet because the BM creates such drama this baby will learn to view me differently.
He'll be taught that grandpa doesn't see him much due to me - SD lives an hour away from us and my DH works midnight shift. He sometimes only has 1 day off a week. He works hard and I'm very proud of him. But it makes it very hard for him to see his family. I wish he saw them more, but SD has turned things around that she lost her father due to me. Not the move nor the job...ME. They used to be very close and she wrote on Facebook she lost her dad due to some 'girl'. Really hurt my feelings to know that all I've done is fall in love with her dad - I'm good to him and am so proud to be his wife, but she's made me feel at odds with things due to her jealousies and spitefulness.
It's almost made me feel I should just leave my home when she's here to give her time to spend with her 'daddy' as she calls him. But that would be giving in to her, which I'm really not ready to do.
Thoughts?
I have a thought. Tell him
I have a thought. Tell him that you don't want to intrude on a special time between BM and her daughter but you will be right over once the birth is over. That's what I'd do.