Family won't stop trying to shove SD down my throat
We are having our first child in July but unfortunately he has a child (3yrs old) with this complete skank who has now abandoned SD with her mother. His family is constantly trying to talk this kid up saying how good she is (she isn't), she's been thru so much and blah blah blah. They always say what a good baby she was and how smart she is and always talk about her even if I am talking about my upcoming baby. DH occassionally thru the pregnancy has made a comparison to when the ex was pregnant which sends my BP thru the roof, I know he doesn't mean any harm by it, but it pisses me off! I just feel like my poor baby is going to never be #1 and that he or she will always be compared to SD bc she is so 'perfect' in his family's eyes. We have a far better relationship and I try to tell myself that bc of this and bc OUR child will live with us full time that he will be closer to him/her than SD. I just feel like this is old news to him bc he already went thru it with that skank and that it's not exciting or new to him anymore 
Is that normal, and is it right to feel that way? Shouldn't it be more special since he loves me more than he cared for his EX?
I know exactly how you feel.
I know exactly how you feel. My mother in law loves my ss7 like her own kid, spoils him rotten and even said at the dinner table in front of all of us and my baby that he was her favorite. Who does that I know my baby doesnt understand now but she will, and since she said it to my ss7 he repeats to everyone he sees. My child is about 3 months ahead on all the developmental milestones but if anyone ever says anything nice about her she freaks out and starts about how good my ss7 is, he's not and everyone thinks she is crazy. I don't get it though my daughter is her grandchild to...........how do these people become this way?
I was pregnant when I married
I was pregnant when I married DH, now mind you I was in my early 30's, married once, working full time, had just completed my degree, and had a 6 year old. DH and I had been engaged for almost 18 mo. and were already planning our wedding when I found out I was pregnant.
I was treated like I was 16 and a disgrace. It was amazing- the conversation. Fast forward- to now:
SD20 is called up to join DH and Ss for birthday celebrations, and dinners at MIL's house.
She has SS come to the house and work most of the summer.
I asked her one time to watch my ODD who was 8-9 at the time and was home sick from school. She called my dd a liar, and was probably ditching a major test that she didn't prepare for.......NO, when DD ate too much junk food it would tear up her system.....giving her an upset stomach, constipation and then diareah. I simply told you she had an upset stomach. From then on if my DD was sick, my mother would meet me half way and she would go to my parents house (over 1n hour vs 20 minutes).
THe rarely saw YDD (DH's daughter). I think they saw her about 3-4 times a year- at family get togethers.
All the pictures DH has of birthday celebration are with his two. When SD graduated from HS, grandparents got a picture of SD and SS and them, but didn't include YDD......whatever.
I know exactly how you feel. And you need to find a way to detach yourself from this since it will eat at you and come between the two of you.
I don't know, they say they
I don't know, they say they like me, but I really don't think my FIL does. Like when my DH told them I was pregnant his dad just said "oh ok" and that was it. Later he said he was excited and that he was just tired when we told him and that's why he wasn't more excited, since then tho he bitches about anything my MIL buys for the baby and constantly says we spend too much. I guess they think every penny should go towards SD bc she wants for NOTHING. GRR
Maybe if you were a little
Maybe if you were a little nicer about the existing baby, they would be more inclined to be excited about yours. That's their grandchild you think isn't worthy.
She's not a 'baby' she is 3
She's not a 'baby' she is 3 yrs old, which is another thing that annoys me, they always call her 'the baby' never calling her by name.
I never say anything negative about her to them, I just try to avoid dealing with her as much as possible. Why should I she's not my problem? It makes me so mad bc they blantantly favored my DH's sister over him growing up and I just feel they are going to do the same with my child, even tho our baby was planned and wanted from the beginning, unlike SD. Even my DH's grandpa refers to her as 'the mistake' it's just DH's parents that have blinders on.
I think your in-laws are
I think your in-laws are adjusting to your pregnancy & worried that the 3 year old might get shafted for the new one & are overcompensating due to BM / feeling sorry for the kid. I'd give them another chance (esp. after baby is born) to coo over the new grandchild.