Saw a solicitor, they basically said everything that I was advised in here... That unless Me or my girls are in danger, we are to stay put.
If I were to leave, since I'm not on the mortgage, I would practically walk away with nothing, despite the fact that for the last 7 years, every household bill has been split 50/50.
Also, they said if I walk - he is likely to turn it round and play the victim - poor husband who's wife walked out taking his 2 children. They said he has to e the one who instigates any formal proceedings.
I need to put it in writing to him that I suggest counselling and take it from there.
Thank you so much for your support, this forum and most of the members who have read my various posts have been nothing but supportive. I'm honestly touched by it xxx
Saw a solicitor, they basically said everything that I was advised in here... That unless Me or my girls are in danger, we are to stay put.
If I were to leave, since I'm not on the mortgage, I would practically walk away with nothing, despite the fact that for the last 7 years, every household bill has been split 50/50.
Also, they said if I walk - he is likely to turn it round and play the victim - poor husband who's wife walked out taking his 2 children. They said he has to e the one who instigates any formal proceedings.
I need to put it in writing to him that I suggest counselling and take it from there.
Thank you so much for your support, this forum and most of the members who have read my various posts have been nothing but supportive. I'm honestly touched by it xxx
Well if you are going to put it in writing email or text him, that way you have a permanent electronic copy, and make sure you don't lose it.
I would make sure you mention in that email or text something along the lines of, given our marriage has deteriorated to the point you have asked me to leave and take our two children with me, I think we need to talk this through with a professional. I suggested (whoever), and would like to make an appointment for us as soon as possible. Are you willing to attend counselling sessions with me.
That way it's on record HE asked you to leave and take the kds.
If he has any in depth knowledge of IT or computers PROTECT YOUR VIRTUAL STUFF. My Ex here put a key logger and spyware on my computer and tried to access my financial and email information, it's definitely easy to do! Now's the time to give into all your paranoid reactions and change passwords, disengage any shared IT information and check processes on your computer etc for any spyware. DO NOT use any peripherals he can conceivably access such as a web cam, phones etc. Batten down the hatches, sweetie and don't give into any urges to be lax if things start to get better for a time; if that happens assume the worst and he's trying to get your defenses down. All advice learned from experience, I was a stupid fool, don't you be the same! The same with finances, don't miss a day checking that all is as you expect. Please be careful and hugs from someone who's been through this before xoxo
My mum suggested the same thing last night - that maybe he is seeing someone?? In my head I think "no" but thinking about it... I don't know???
He's all of a sudden started to lose weight and is constantly working out, and he needs surgically removing from his phone??? But I don't know when he would have the time??? The only really option is that it's someone at work??
I can't think about it right now, I don't think I have the ability to cope with anything else.
As for the laptop... He doesn't have access to mine as its my company one and its password protected - he would never, ever in a million years know the password. Same goes for my phone and iPad so I think I'm pretty safe??? Xxx
Glad you got some advice and have a path to start working on. It's likely to get uglier before it's over, but it also sounds like you've talked to your mother and have support there. Stay strong, it'll be hard but you've got a place to go and get support! Virtual hugs to you and your babies.
Fairy dust, if they are having an affair, they'll make time. Don't bother asking him though. He will say no. Can you check his phone, or does he keep it with him or locked. If he has nothing to hide he won't be nursing his phone all night
Hi jacksgal... Yesterday was
Hi jacksgal...
Yesterday was very draining!
Saw a solicitor, they basically said everything that I was advised in here... That unless Me or my girls are in danger, we are to stay put.
If I were to leave, since I'm not on the mortgage, I would practically walk away with nothing, despite the fact that for the last 7 years, every household bill has been split 50/50.
Also, they said if I walk - he is likely to turn it round and play the victim - poor husband who's wife walked out taking his 2 children. They said he has to e the one who instigates any formal proceedings.
I need to put it in writing to him that I suggest counselling and take it from there.
Thank you so much for your support, this forum and most of the members who have read my various posts have been nothing but supportive. I'm honestly touched by it xxx
Hi jacksgal... Yesterday was
Hi jacksgal...
Yesterday was very draining!
Saw a solicitor, they basically said everything that I was advised in here... That unless Me or my girls are in danger, we are to stay put.
If I were to leave, since I'm not on the mortgage, I would practically walk away with nothing, despite the fact that for the last 7 years, every household bill has been split 50/50.
Also, they said if I walk - he is likely to turn it round and play the victim - poor husband who's wife walked out taking his 2 children. They said he has to e the one who instigates any formal proceedings.
I need to put it in writing to him that I suggest counselling and take it from there.
Thank you so much for your support, this forum and most of the members who have read my various posts have been nothing but supportive. I'm honestly touched by it xxx
Well if you are going to put
Well if you are going to put it in writing email or text him, that way you have a permanent electronic copy, and make sure you don't lose it.
I would make sure you mention in that email or text something along the lines of, given our marriage has deteriorated to the point you have asked me to leave and take our two children with me, I think we need to talk this through with a professional. I suggested (whoever), and would like to make an appointment for us as soon as possible. Are you willing to attend counselling sessions with me.
That way it's on record HE asked you to leave and take the kds.
I like this, it also shows
I like this, it also shows you have attempted to get counselling and HE is the one refusing.
If he has any in depth
If he has any in depth knowledge of IT or computers PROTECT YOUR VIRTUAL STUFF. My Ex here put a key logger and spyware on my computer and tried to access my financial and email information, it's definitely easy to do! Now's the time to give into all your paranoid reactions and change passwords, disengage any shared IT information and check processes on your computer etc for any spyware. DO NOT use any peripherals he can conceivably access such as a web cam, phones etc. Batten down the hatches, sweetie and don't give into any urges to be lax if things start to get better for a time; if that happens assume the worst and he's trying to get your defenses down. All advice learned from experience, I was a stupid fool, don't you be the same! The same with finances, don't miss a day checking that all is as you expect. Please be careful and hugs from someone who's been through this before xoxo
My mum suggested the same
My mum suggested the same thing last night - that maybe he is seeing someone?? In my head I think "no" but thinking about it... I don't know???
He's all of a sudden started to lose weight and is constantly working out, and he needs surgically removing from his phone??? But I don't know when he would have the time??? The only really option is that it's someone at work??
I can't think about it right now, I don't think I have the ability to cope with anything else.
As for the laptop... He doesn't have access to mine as its my company one and its password protected - he would never, ever in a million years know the password. Same goes for my phone and iPad so I think I'm pretty safe??? Xxx
Glad you got some advice and
Glad you got some advice and have a path to start working on. It's likely to get uglier before it's over, but it also sounds like you've talked to your mother and have support there. Stay strong, it'll be hard but you've got a place to go and get support! Virtual hugs to you and your babies.
Fairy dust, if they are
Fairy dust, if they are having an affair, they'll make time. Don't bother asking him though. He will say no. Can you check his phone, or does he keep it with him or locked. If he has nothing to hide he won't be nursing his phone all night