Dog Still In My Home...Unreal
I wrote on here Sept 1st about how SS and SD connived their way into bringing a dog into my home and my being made to believe that my DH was blaming it on me..you can see my post titled "DH Lied to My Face"....
Fast forward to today...
It is the 18th now....and the dog is still here.
I have heard every story in the book as to when that dog is leaving. In the meantime, he has pissed and shit all over our basement, which smells horrendous. SS has done nothing in the way of lighting a fire under his ass to clean it either. It sets for sometimes a day before he does anything to clean it.
SD has made it clear that she is NOT coming after the dog. She gave that to her brother as an 18th birthday gift.
DH told SS yesterday that the dog WAS leaving..once again..and his son pouted around like a child for the entire day. Would not hardly speak at all. Ready to cry at any second.
I put my foot down today with DH..asked him when in the HELL was the dog leaving...I was going to post it on Craigslist for him...ANYTHING to get rid of it. He said he had to think of how to get rid of it..his son was very attached to it and he was now pissed at his daughter for bringing it in the house in the first place.
Gee....you just now are pissed about that????
And are you pissed due to her lying to me in the very beginning???
So now I have my DH STILL demanding the dog leave..and my SS saying he will take care of it. Yet the dog is still here. SD is in hiding..she is getting married in 3 weeks so she can't hide forever.
I have given DH the silent treatment most of the day due to how he's drug his feet on this. He's done everything to try to talk to me and I'm not having it. His daughter told the person she got this dog off of that my DH AGREED to the dog coming here in the first place and now he was renigging on the deal. Said my DH was lying...
And my DH STILL is sitting in wonderment on how NOT to hurt his kids...
They are freaking adults!! This is insanity at it's finest...
Meanwhile, my basement smells like shit...and for what?? A dog that should have NEVER come here in the first place.
DH better get his head out of his ass REAL damn quick. That dog is gonna end up disappearing one day soon and there will be no worries as to where he's going. SD had NO RIGHT in bringing that shitstorm in my home and DH should have put his foot up her ass Sept 1...
I've had it with how passive he is with his kids...SS is a grown man...deal with it. What a bunch of bullshit.
Thoughts?
I ended up with custody of my
I ended up with custody of my stepkids' cat. When they moved in with us, their mother told them she was taking their cat to the vet to have him "put down". Nice, huh?
So we now have custody of both the kids and the damn cat.
Well, this is pretty freaking
Well, this is pretty freaking ridiculous.
I have a 6'2", 180# 18 year old man walking around with a tiny puppy, holding him like Zsa Zsa Gabor, for fear he get taken away at any given time.
DH is adamant he's leaving but since now "I'M" the one bitching the most, I can surely bet I will be to blame once the dog finally DOES leave my home.
This grown man sleeps with this dog...and lets him use our basement for the world's biggest bathroom. He has brought fleas into our home to our other dog...
Yet DH is 'working on it' - YEAH RIGHT.
Once again DH - GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND QUIT LETTING YOUR 'GROWN' ADULT CHILDREN RUN YOUR LIFE FOR YOU!!!
Better a cat than a dog.
Better a cat than a dog.
Take the dog to the vet or
Take the dog to the vet or humane society and let them put it up for adoption - there are many people who love little dogs - if SS cannot take care of it and clean up the basement not your problem - bye bye doggie!!!
take the shit from the
take the shit from the basement, pile it onto newspapers. place in ss's room until he gets the message.
I think what is really
I think what is really pissing me off is the fact DH doesn't want confrontation with his kids over this. I have heard conversations with him and his son and they are very timid in the fact that DH is trying not to piss his son off.
Who cares???
This was NEVER agreed on so why worry about pissing him OR his daughter off???
Walking on eggshells for fear of making them mad...UNREAL!
read this...over and over and
read this...over and over and over.
then ask...
why does my husband not fear making me mad?
why does my husband fear no consequence's from me?
this is my problem too. My
this is my problem too. My DH would rather fight with me than to tell his kids to get off their asses and clean their rooms.
WHAT THE F*CK IS IT WITH THESE MEN THAT DON'T STAND UP TO THEIR KIDS. Is there a way to get this done!!! My DH told me today that he can't treat his kids as if they still live with mom and dad! What the hell does that mean? So because they are from divorced parents, they don't have to clean their rooms?
So I'm good enough to help pay the mortgage, electric, gas, water, insurance, etc....but I'm not good enough to request they clean their rooms?
my DH would rather be at ends with me than to stand up to his kids ---- welcome to my hell!!!
OMG, this is a whole nother
OMG, this is a whole nother issue that I have as well.... I don't like dogs and my DH and SS13 let the dog shit in my basement also DH always says he is going to fix it and he is going to put the dog in the kennel I can't stand the dog!! I always had labs and I had to get rid of my lab because my sd15 has allergies really bad... So I bought this yappy little dog that doesn't shed for the sd15... I couldn't potty trained because the skds and DH have no boundaries or rules there is no consistency at all!
Wow, some very heartless
Wow, some very heartless people making comments.
I'm an animal lover and I have to say that you are taking out your issues and an animal is suffering. Ever stop to think the animal is stressed and confused and KNOWS that it's not wanted? Wow, bad karma acting this way. I don't care what issues you have with your ex, kids, husband, whatever. You need to treat animals with respect.
"I can't stand the dog!"
Ok, um how old are you?
PURE IGNORANCE
Not all of us are dog people.
Not all of us are dog people.
1-800-DOG-CATCHER Send the
1-800-DOG-CATCHER
Send the mutt to the pound. If SS wants it back, he can move out and pay the fees to recover his dog.
Simple IMHO.
Kind of disturbing I agree-as
Kind of disturbing I agree-as an animal lover myself. I DO understand the frustration the OP is having-it was thrown on her and nothing is being done. And it's smelling and such-that's horrible! In the meantime-until they find a home (which is better then abandoning at a pound!) Can your H get him a kennel and insist the dog stays in the kennel unless your son is home and able to potty train/take the dog out constantly?
I mean I know 18 is older...but I don't think in todays world kids that age are fully mature men. They still need some guidance.
But to just keep telling her to "get rid of it"...or abandon at a vet, pound, etc..it's not the dogs fault. I hate it when people are so callous with pets wo have no choice/chance really.
Makes me REALLY mad when I see people not neuter/spay their pets and add to the misery/overcrowding of animals and them being gassed because people don't give a shit.
I agree that too many people
I agree that too many people see pets as disposable objects.
BM had a tendency to get skids a new pet when they were supposed to come for their visitation. This, of course, would interfere as the skids wanted to be home with the new puppy/kitty or be upset because they were at dad's house instead.
Then when BM wanted to go on vacation, she'd come up with some excuse to get rid of the animal.
However, in this situation, the OP did NOT voluntarily take in this animal. I agree that the pound is not a place to take the dog, as he is innocent in this BUT to find another home for the animal is not cruel.
Wee wee pads. Little dogs
Wee wee pads. Little dogs love 'em. Its hard giving up a dog. IMO you will be blamed by DH & SS & SD. You are right in that you (or DH) will be responsible for the pooch if SS choses to be lazy about it. That's the part that confuses me: how can anyone neglect a pets' needs when they are cognitive of their own needs?
To think about- when I was
To think about- when I was married to my now exh-....I brought home a lab. My kids were 2 and 4....we only had him for 2 months-he insisted I get rid of him. It took me a while but I found another home. I was livid. Oh...my mom helped contribute to that "get rid of him" also.
My boys till this day-now 9 and 11 bring it up and get upset when they remember this. Grandma and dad made them get rid of the dog-and they only had him a couple months and their memory shoudln't even go back that far lol
Just something to think of.
Oh I know-it is NOT her fault
Oh I know-it is NOT her fault for having the dog in the first place...yes she was lied to, and disrespected...yes I also think it's one of those 'line in the sand' moments.
You can always drop the dog
You can always drop the dog off in SD's back yard and let her deal with it. If SS bitches, tell him he is free to join the dog.
Best regards,
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Anybody who hates dogs
Anybody who hates dogs deserves them crapping in the basement. :sick:
Seriously a dog can make a great addition to a household but of course the boy will have to train and care for it. In the end it is your home but .......
My wife hated dogs until I finally put my foot down and got a rescueed dog. It was trained and I cared for it. Years later she cried for two days when it died.
I wouldn't have said it in so
I wouldn't have said it in so many words, but deep down, I do feel this way. An animal only knows what it's taught. It's not the dogs fault the people in your home don't take the time to train it. If your family isn't willing to put the time into a pet, find a home that will.
A dog will be your best friend & love you unconditionally regardless of how it's treated. It will be there for you when you feel alone & it will be eager to spend all the time with you that you're willing to spend with it. It deserves to be loved the same way in return.
I love dogs .... and cats for
I love dogs .... and cats for that matter. Pets can be a true blessing to a family. However, in this case the dog was not authorized to be in the home by the resident adult female and the dog needs to go.
We rescued a parrot 14 years go. He has ruled the roost ever since. Good thing we like that damned bird. He is loud, obnoxious, loving and funny. We would not have him any other way. Except for maybe a bit quieter.
I would rescue dogs if I was not extremely alergic to them. We had many dogs growing up and I spent much time in the hospital with asthma attacks until the Docs finally figured out that it was the dogs that were causing my asthma.
Giving up my dog after that diagnosis broke my heart. He was my Christmas present when I was 7yo. When opened the box that had been flopping around under the Christmas tree he came flying out and nearly licked me to death.
But, I did get to see him several times a year at my grandparents small farm. He was far happier running things at the farm than he was in our backyard. He went to my grandparents when I was 12.
Sadly, he was stolen and used in a dog fighting ring. His body was found in a pile of disgarded fighting dogs. He was a pure bred, all black Belgian shepard without a mean bone in his body. But, he was ~110lbs and very intimmidating so the toothless rednecks, or NFL all stars, stole him thinking he would be a good fighter.
Best regards,
Oh my gosh that is so sad!!!
Oh my gosh that is so sad!!!
So sorry for you & your
So sorry for you & your shepard. DH & I raise English Bulldogs. They are the sweetest, most gentle dogs. They truly believe they are lap dogs, & honestly, we raise ours as such.
They love people & snort when they get excited & for someone unfamiliar with the breed, it can be intimidating. Therefore, they get a bad rap. I can't imagine the sadness that would follow your discovery. 
Aww storm...the bf has an
Aww storm...the bf has an english bulldog...he's awesome! But yeah-they can smell, snort, snarl, somes times I think we're dealing with a pig-or warthog....something lol
They are awesome! We
They are awesome!
We currently have 6, but 2 are puppies we are selling. People slow down all the time to watch them when we have them outside & now & then they'll pull into the driveway to get a better look, but everyone is hesitant to get out of their cars to play. LOL! We are happy to talk to anyone who stops & assure them that they're harmless. We have several families who will come by to see if the dogs can come out & play now. It's good for people to become familiar with different breeds & to get past their fears & ideas they have about particular ones. And, it's good for our dogs to socialize with people they're not so familiar with.
Thanks all for the comments
Thanks all for the comments and the healthy debate..i love it!
Let me make some points that I don't know if some of you didn't catch at my previous post when I explained what happened in the first place.
But before I do that - I want to stress I am the HUGEST animal lover out there. We already have a dog and a cat - I have allergies horrible to the hair and one day I almost can forsee getting rid of the animals because of it. BUT - because I love them, they aren't going anywhere.
Trust me.
As for this puppy - I was not informed of ANY of it. Not a word. I was sitting in my backyard with my husband when my daughter asked us out the window what was in our basement whining and barking. It, of course, was this puppy. My DH looked like he had swallowed a huge bug so I asked what was going on.
HE had made the statement a LONG time ago that he wanted no more pets in the house. The puppy's parent had come into our home and pissed and shit all over it..that dog was no longer welcome and my DH was the one that put his foot down. Made SD mad but hey...that's life.
When DH saw I was a little more than upset over this puppy in our house, I again asked him what was going on. He said his daughter had dropped it off for her brother and it was his birthday present. I quickly reminded him of how he had stated NO MORE PETS..especially a shitstorm such as this one. By the time I walked into our basement moments later, the basement had pee puddles all over the place.
And where was SS? Off with his sister while this puppy was locked up in our basement pissing all over everything.
When SD and SS came home, DH had left for work. SD put on her best Academy Award pout and said she heard it was me that was against the dog and said her brother should be allowed to have it for he was depressed and lonely..he had always had a dog and DH said it was okay.
Needless to say - I was livid. I ripped DH a new rear end for those remarks, only to find out he had not said them. He blew up on his daughter for blaming me....and blah, blah, blah...
Point is..the dog is still here. SS has gotten used to it..and I see that.
I do not want it sent to a pound..I do not want to see it hurt. I do not want to see it suffer in any way. And I do NOT hate this dog. It's an innocent that has been thrown into a huge shitstorm of a lie by my SD...she has told everyone that my DH has agreed to the dog staying here and now he is renigging the idea.
But what I DON'T want is this dog to suffer as what I see here..my SS is NOT feeding it like he should..the dog has no fresh water half the time..the dog does not get outside..he is not being potty trained in the slightest...he is alone in our basement due to my SS being at school and with friends alot. My SS has not one time began any such potty training and the puppy just squats anywhere he pleases..mainly our couch and loveseat when he sneaks upstairs. I have stepped in his shit more times than I care to say..and because he's alone downstairs ALOT..he barks like a wild animal. He's tearing things up due to being alone all the time and once he DOES get outside the first thing he does is run for the road in front of cars. SS is NOT doing anything to reprimand this puppy either. He has brought fleas in our home to our other dog and now it's gonna cost an arm and a leg to treat them both and our cat has developed them as well. He was also not wormed like it was stated.
SS convieniently has no money to afford the vet bill either. Keeps telling his dad to take the dog to the vet to treat the fleas and the dry skin that the dog has that has literally put huge scabs all over his body. His long hair has mats...
Need I go on??
Point here is..I do not want the dog hurt. I want him to have a good home..he just is not getting one here. We are not going to have a kennel in this home.
On another note..my daughter came to me a few months back and asked me to rescue a dog that I SAW was clearly abused, starved, and left basically to survive on nothing. Due to our limited space and the trouble I knew the dog would have recuperating..and none of us here during the day hardly..I told her no. Helped her find a good home and that dog is living a good life now. But what I mainly did was respect my DH's wishes in NOT having a kennel here in our home..I told her no. I also did not want another animal here and told her once she had her own place, then she could have an animal. Just not here. She was fine with it and life went on.
And now...there's a puppy living in my basement that has been here for 3 weeks...and I keep hearing it's leaving. And I would gladly help find it a home..I've offered to run an ad all over...and yet I keep getting told "It's leaving" ...and yet nothing.
THAT is why I'm pissed. I was offered NO SAY...I respected my DH enough to tell my own kid NO a while back on a dog...my SD LIED about me concerning this dog....I know the dog is an innocent victim but there is more here than just a dog. There is the idea that I had no choice in the matter and it was a matter that DH himself was adamant on. It all changed when SS and SD batted their eyelashes.
Would anyone else out there want to know an animal was now living in their home and the only way they knew it was to hear it whining in your basement?
I have every right to be pissed and it's really beginning to make me very angry towards DH because his BALLS have somehow disappeared towards his kids.....but yet he can be okay with how I feel on this.
Thoughts? I really appreciate all you all are saying..and I reiterate...I will NOT let this dog leave unless he has a good home..and I mean that.
NewBeginning, if you want the
NewBeginning, if you want the dog to have a good home & despite what they say, your DH & SS clearly are doing NOTHING to make that happen, go ahead & run the ad. Find this baby a home where he will be loved & tended to, trained & exercised. The longer he stays in your basement the harder it will be for him to adjust in a new home. As long as he's in your home untrained, he's learning that it's okay to pee & poop in the house. He's learning that it's acceptable to tear things up, & it's becoming habit for him to bark non-stop. Now he's got fleas. If you don't help him, it's going to be really difficult for someone else to retrain him & it's going to be difficult for him to learn an entirely different set of rules. Don't wait for your DH to take care of it. He clearly doesn't have it in him to do so. I'm sorry your DH put you in this situation...you & the dog.
Agree with Storm. Do
Agree with Storm. Do something for that dog. Either provide him a home or you find dog another home. Stop blaming everyone else, waiting for them to do something, time is of the essence. Your house is getting destroyed, tensions are mounting, dog is not being trained all because you weren't in alignment? Pick another battle and hold your ground and there will be more...but hopefully no more involving an animal.
Ok-here's a MUST. You HAVE
Ok-here's a MUST. You HAVE to crate train this dog...better yet-your SS can help. Why is the dog/pup allowed to walk all over the place pooping and peeing?
http://www.training-dogs.com/crate-training.html
http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/cratetraining.htm
When i brought my pup home -she was 10wks...I have had maybe-MAYBE-only two accidents her entire life and she's 3 or 4 now??? Never had them as a pup.
Even an older pup can be crate trained...never to late to start. Print the articles out and demand that your SS and DH help, everyone can work together.
Yes it sucks they put you in this situation but rather then have your house destroyed you have to find a solution. While you're waiting for it to be gone you CAN do something for it to have an easier time FINDING a home. An untrained pup isn't easy to throw on another family.
A dog soiling all over-is NOT the dogs fault..and I know you dont' want to deal with it and it's unfair they are doing this...but you can make it better in the meantime. Crate training is essential to your sanity here. You all can get on board.
Call a family meeting with your DH, SS-print these off and demand they be on their way right then to get a kennel and start immediately. That unless they want the dog to dissapear (even if it's just a threat) they will start cooperating with you. Afterall your DH is just as guilty in all of this!!!
Then stay after you SS-during the day while he's at school perhaps you can take him out of the kennel once or twice to go outside. Crate training doesn't really take that long but it's that or weeks more of stepping in shit and pee...that's ridiculous.
Keep him in his crate with some toys-take him out to do his bsns and eat only and MAYBE your SS can allow a few mins of play time outside then BACK in the crate. You may have some whining in the beginning but it's worth it.
Hope this helps some!!