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DH let SS open the door at his BMs house...

confusedsm03's picture

DH dropped SS off yesterday morning. It was around 6:30am so still pretty early in the morning. They get out off the car and SS goes over to the door, says bye to DH and goes inside the house. DH didn't enter the house, he stayed on the front porch waiting for BM. BM sent him a text message a few hours later asking if he would please knock before opening her door. DH understands where she is coming from but looked at it this way "It's SS house. He opened the door". Should he have told SS you can't enter your own home until your mother says its ok? I almost thought of it like asking my daughter to ring the doorbell after school. DH thinks she should have locked the door if she didn't want her own son to open it. I think this one could really go either way. Any opinions?

wickedstepqueen's picture

I think that she may not want her ex to possibly enter as well. IMHO it is totally reasonable for her to ask him to knock first.

I would be a little miffed if skids opened up my front door... but then again they dont live here.

caregiver1127's picture

The ex did not enter the house only the son did - so this is typical BM behavior that is so ridiculous and quite frankly a control move - if she does not want her son to just come into his own house then she needs to lock her door or be waiting by the door instead of making her Ex stand like an idiot on the front porch until she is good and ready to make an appearance.

confusedsm03's picture

I agree. I was a little surprised that DH let him open the door. But when does it stop? When SS is 6, 7, 8, 9...should he be required to knock still before entering? Then will either home ever feel like "home"? I will admit if SS walked right in my house and BM did too, I would be upset (although DH didn't enter). Oh well, I guess this is just one more thing that the poor steps of the world are deprived of lol. Atleast BM was pleasant about the whole thing.

confusedsm03's picture

I also think it was like a before DH even knew it thing the door was open. Now he will definitely be more cautious when dropping him off and of course, he didn't mean to be disrespectful towards her.

hopefulSM's picture

Maybe you should have DH indicate to her that he did not go up to the door, that SS got out of the car and walked up to the house and went in. Maybe she thought that DH just opened the door and sent SS in. Ask her flat out if he is dropping off SS and SS walks up to the house alone if she would like SS to ring the door bell and wait for her to answer the door. Also indicate that DH was waiting in the car to watch to make sure he got in. What age is SS?

My DD8 just comes walking in our house when she comes back with her dad - and that is even if her BD comes to the door with her. And yes, he will walk in our house if he is carrying her stuff. It doesn't bother me or my DH. This is HER house and she doesn't have to wait at the door for someone to answer it. Plus I usually know when she is expect to be coming and am not suprised or taking off guard when she happens to walk in, or finds me in the house.

liks's picture

yeah...if she dont want her son (whom she would have expected to arrive around that time anyway) to just walk in...then lock the fn door bitch!!! stupid women...she must be such a crazy nutter....make sure your skid takes a pic of you and the DH and the skid to her house after next visit...put it in a frame and tell the skid to put it on the bed...

hahaha

seriously

IMHO...the slags just winning cos she likes to cause waves....the more she grizzles to your DH the better....(i been a BM too)

its her house...she can deal with the manners herself...stuff her....

tell your dh to tell his ex bitch to go get f'd

staying calm's picture

My dh has full custody of sd6, and they moved into my house with me. I don't expect sd to knock when she comes home from anywhere! Because even though she's not mine, it's our house now. I just keep thinking back to when i was little and i how i would have felt if my folks made me knock! When bm drops sd off bm stays on the porch, and she and dh have a quick chat before she leaves, but i just can't imagine expecting sd knock! Much less your own child!

liks's picture

I put my foot down to my skids as we only get the pleasure of their company when BM feels like it....so I felt it was totally inappropriate that they

a. Have a Key or
b. Feel they can walk in without knocking

I live her with my BD17 and my BS13

I wasnt very happy when they just walk in any time of the day and night grab something then walk out again...

And I wasnt at all happy to find they were letting the slut of the mother bm in when ever she needed to grab something like soap cos she has ran out either...

so we changed the locks....well didnt the little shits complain...and now the door stays locked and wen ever they arrive...(unscheduled) they still feel they can just walk in without knocking or giving a holar....shocking really...o

of course the little shits listen to no one, not their father nor anyone...and obviously the BM keeps suggesting to them they can enter their fathers house any time they like...

wkd_sm's picture

Seems like I just read a post about entering before knocking....doors and window unlocked...no announcement or something?

CalgonTakeMeAway's picture

Wait..she wants her own son to knock before coming into the house? Or did she think DH came in? If it's her son, I think that's crazy. I've never known anybody that made their kid knock before they went into their own home. We don't make skids knock here either. If it's drop off time, she should be fully prepared for SS to come home.

confusedsm03's picture

She wants her own son to knock before entering. She knew what time he was coming. DH did NOT enter the house, SS went inside and DH stood on the porch waiting for BM to hear SS.

MamaBallistic's picture

This strikes me as strange. Could it be that by knocking & waiting she is ensuring that she sees your DH?

I don't mean that in a bad way but with young children I know most parents ask for behavior reports... Although, that being said, why not just say that?

BMs are strange though so anyones guess.........

confusedsm03's picture

I have read the message she sent in response to his and she said that "You scared us and we forgot to lock the door". I dk. BM and DH don't communicate about anything. She said that his behavior, etc at our house is none of her business and she doesn't care. I suppose if I knew my DD was coming home as a preschooler-elementary age, I would make sure I was up and awake waiting at the door. I always wait for DD and her father when he is bringing her home so I can meet them at the door. Whatever, if she doesn't want to allow her own child into his home without permission, that's her problem.