I think she is scared of her liking you more then her. This is always the fear of a parent!! I wish my husband cared this much about my two own children, your's is very blessed to have someone like you. Keep caring. Let her know you love the child just like you said your reasoning, but your in no way trying to replace her as a Mother. This should help her understand. I think a lot of times us as the parent get so wrapped up in completing that we think the other parent is so against us we don't relize that the step parent is actually trying as well to be a parent. Ask her out for coffee just the two of you, don't bring the EX as this will make problems, of course let him know whats going on, so he doesn't find out another way. I think this will help. This is my advice from the other side of the fence!!!

I got a really nice speech from BM about how I shouldn't "play mommy" and mostly very similar to your story! Lol. No thanks crazy! I have 2 bio kids to "play mommy" to, I don't need your kids. However if SHE "played mommy" maybe SD wouldn't be...well...like she is. We'll just leave it at that.

These pathetic women need to find a life!!

Welcome to Stepmom hell. Nothing you do is ever right. When I tried, I was overstepping and when I stopped and disengaged, court documents showed that I hated my Stepkids. Can't win, so why try? Do what you want.

I do think that the Mom and Dad stuff, should be left up to the bio's, but if they won't do it and you want to, step in. You do what you want, you will never make BM happy.

I got this one too--- but what is funny is BM lost custody of her kids to DH. Yep, looks like she doesnt know what it means to be a mother either

I think we all get this... lol should be a popular thread... BM has written SO about 3 emails in a row about how the kids are THEIR kids and they should be the ONLY people making decisions. At one point she actually brought up how SO is a parent in her home and She is a parent in his home. Uhhhh no sweet heart. We have our own family and one BS on the way you do not parent in my home sorry!

BM tried this. Before I booted her out of my life & my home (DH basically has to leave to talk to her, her voice bothers me & she's weird lol). She got mad I didn't agree with her when she was saying my DH was being mean to her & wrong about something, so she pulled the "I don't even know why I am talking to you about this, "SD7" IS NOT YOURS."

Obviously. I was going to let her know "exactly. But because her BM is so pathetic my husband & I between the two of us provide food, shelter & clothing at both homes, health insurance, school supplies, summer camps, vacations, & stability. All things her mom cannot do - which is why it's painfully obvious I am NOT her mom." But I chose to ignore her - it bothered her more.

Not nice if she is hostile, but I can relate to the issue a bit.Being a mum is the most precious thing and having to share your child with anyone else is a threatening thought, especially if the child is small.I don;t think she i pure evil just for feeling like that.I am very blessed that the step mom of my kids mentioned many times she is not interested in mothering my kids but still is lovely.Knowing that I was relieved.

These type of rants used to piss me off, but now they're funny. It just shows the "golden uterus" mentality perfectly.

The BM in my life told me I had no maternal instinct because I hadn't pushed a baby out of my vagina. This coming from a woman who had my SS, handed him over to my DH and went to raves, got drunk, smoked a crap load of weed, and would go a year here and there without seeing her son. She also likes to play the "my son knows what my heart beat sounds like from the inside" card... Um, ok.

I just consider the source of these horribly ignorant women.

I hate this line. BM in my situation feels she has to constantly tell me that "she carried her for 9 months" and "I am not a mother...I don't understand." I am also not s pshyco. Painting a little girl's nails or buying her clothes for xmas is not a "mother" job alone. I also get, you have not blood relation, therefore you will never be a part of SD family. I know that I am not a mother. I tried very hard not to get pregnant at 20 with a man I knew I wouldn't stay with.