BM "not comfortable" paying her share of day care directly

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DH sent her the email last week saying that she can pay her share of day care directly to the day care .. that he's no longer managing or making these payments for her. He accepted her direct transfers last summer because she was living in Texas and it was just easier on everyone involved .. until she started paying him late week after week and he was fronting the entire cost himself.

Anyway .. he told her now that she's relocated back and moved into her new house, she can pay directly herself. Her response?

"I will give you a check every Monday when it is due if you are not comfortable with me putting it into your account. I am not comfortable paying directly seeing the service is not being provided to me and the fact they are so far away there is not guarantee they will receive the payment on time.

I will call in the morning and talk to the director in regards to an alternative arrangement. However I will NOT be responsible for any late fees accrued due to this last minute change. I will make sure that this is handled accordingly until then you WILL continue to receive my portion of the daycare as previously agreed upon"

Her argument that the day care is so far away is completely on her. This is the same day care the girls have attended each summer. She CHOSE to move 45 miles away .. so DH doesn't really feel any obligation to make this distance on her .. since she's only used it so far to make his life harder.

That's the plan! It's

That's the plan!

It's interesting to me that she claims the distance is such an issue and she's concerned they won't receive the check on time .. but somehow she's going to be able to provide DH a check every Monday? If she can make it on time to DH, surely she can make it on time to the day care. The facility is 1/2 a mile from our home.

^^^Couldn't have said it

^^^Couldn't have said it better myself!

Yes, DH spoke with the

Yes, DH spoke with the director (who is also a personal friend of his) last week and explained what is going on. She is fine with it.

It's actually being set up so that DH pays for one kid, and BM pays for the other. The cost is the same for both of them, and it's easier for the day care to track/manage the payments this way.

If BM refuses to pay her share directly, or on time, DH will speak with his attorney and possibly call her command if it becomes a habitual problem. She's obligated in the CO to pay half of day care and when the skids were in day care near her home, she required DH pay his half directly as well. Nowhere in the agreement is DH obligated to accept and make payments on her behalf.

I expect it will be a rocky transition, but I'm confident she'll get her payments worked out.

I appreciate it! I don't

I appreciate it! I don't believe she owns it; it's a church-based day care and she's been director there for about 10 years.

The skids only attend the day care for the summer, and then they move back with BM for the school weeks. After the first couple weeks, I'm sure BM will figure out how to get her payment there on time .. it's about as complicated as putting a check in the mail on Thursday or Friday for the following week (payment is due by COB Wednesday before late charges .. so even with mail delays, there's no reason it should be late). They also take credit card payments over the phone.

She's bucking and complaining now because it's a little more inconvenient for her .. but she doesn't really have a leg to stand on.

So what happens if BM is

So what happens if BM is consistantly late or does not pay and the child she is responsible for paying for isn't allowed in the daycare anymore?

First and foremost, DH would

First and foremost, DH would have no choice but to pay and cover her share.

Then he'd call his attorney.

Then he'd call her Commanding Officer and let them know she isn't providing the support and care for her children that she's court-ordered to.

It is a LONG shot that it would go that far .. she knows better .. she's just unhappy because DH isn't doing what's easy for her.

Good, I was hoping you'd have

Good, I was hoping you'd have a back-up plan in case she was that stupid...lol. Good luck with everything!

This is the dumbest thing I

This is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Is she comfortable paying her rent, or does that go thru a 3rd party too?

That was DH's response too ..

That was DH's response too .. how is she uncomfortable paying a bill directly to a service provider? It's not like DH pays any of her other bills on her behalf ..

Exactly!

So here's my other question

So here's my other question .. DH hasn't responded to the email she sent above. He just left it as is.

I get the feeling she's trying to bait him into an email battle, so I told him to just ignore her. He told her what he needed to. If she chooses to ignore it, he will return her payments directly to her as promised.

Do you agree that no further reiterations are necessary?