You are here

Birds Nest Custody??

LittlePanda's picture

Submitted by LittlePanda on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 3:54pm

Forums: 
General Discussion

Have any of you heard of this??? "Bird's nest custody" is when the child lives at one residence and the parents alternate living with the child in that residence based on their visitation arrangement.

Now, that seems kind of crazy to me, but some of you ladies who can't stand your skids may like that, I don't know. I just don't know how any parents who intend on moving on with their lives could possibly do this. Also, how is this realistic at all? I guess if you are very wealthy you could afford to just have an extra house for your kid.

Are any of you involved in this type of custody arrangement?! If so, I would be very interested to hear how it works out for you.

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 4:37pm

I've heard of it. Seems like only the very rich could afford to actually do it, because it does call for three separate residences, the main "nest" where the children live, and each parent maintains a separate residence and take turns visiting the child in the "nest".

The idea is supposedly to give the child more stability.

onebright1's picture

Submitted by onebright1 on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 5:04pm

My ExH and I did this for the first 6 mos of our separation. He left me and moved in with his affair gf. (not with her anylonger) But anyway, he would come on Saturday evening and stay with our 4yo at the time daughter and I would go stay with a girl friend. I wasnt comfortable with my bd4 at the time going to a strangers house and truthfully thought it would be weird for her to see dad go from moms bed straight to another womans bed. Once the Divorce was filed and in the works, I got tired of leaving my home every weekend. ANd we had a visitation set up throught the court, she started going to the GFs home with dad every other weekend. Worked for us for an interim, but not a forever solution for anyone I would think.

round2's picture

Submitted by round2 on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 5:11pm

My exH and I did this when we first separated. I kep the marital home and he got a small one bedroom apartment.

He came 'hone' EOW and I left and stayed with a girlfriend of mine. We only did this for about 3 months and then he moved into a larger apartment.

It was really hard on he and I but was good for the kids, especially my youngest who was 18 months old at the time.

Short term transition solution if the parents can play nice and make it work.

Stepmumsarah's picture

Submitted by Stepmumsarah on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 5:25pm

There is also a term called " together living apart" which is what my SO and I are doing. It's pretty much, my SO and his bio son live in one house and I with my daughter in another house. It's great if you don't like your Skids or can't stand living with them. But I'm starting to not see much point in only having my SO part time, especially being pregnant and knowing my SO would only be a "part time dad" to our baby. I've realised nothing works or is fair.

Orange County Ca's picture

Submitted by Orange County Ca on Wed, 01/02/2013 - 6:19pm

It seems ideal from the childs point and yes I've heard of it but don't know of anyone actually doing it because of the expense I'm sure. The two adults could share a two bedroom apartment nearby because only one of them would be there at a time.

Closest I know is a nephews boy who lived on the same block as his ex and the kids went home to any house they choose. I never knew how it actually worked out and can imagine the kids settled on one or the other by themselves.