Until the child stops asking. I've got boy13 and girl11 and they both still want me to come and tell them good night, give them a hug, and my daughter a kiss. It's not your child and not your decision. I'd stay out of it.
I see no issue with it - DH tucks SS6 in more nights unless SS falls asleep on the couch to which he will try to send him to his bed most the time though it normally ends up in at least one book. One the weekends he doesn't as most of the time SS wants to sleep on the couch.
I don't think there is a age it has to stop as long as it is done appropriately. Honestly until I moved out and even when I went back to visit my mom growing up we had a routine.
My daughter just turned 20. When she's home? I will still go in when I go upstairs, say goodnight, give her a kiss on the forehead. Tell her I love her. What's the big deal?
Tucking in is fine. No laying down, fetching water, etc., etc. Once tucked in…that's it (unless there is an illness involved). In that case, still no sleeping in, just frequent checks and maybe moving them closer, but NOT in your bed.
I know right? My parents divorced when I was 4, but my BM was a Queen. She NEVER said one bad word and he used to beat the shit out of her. For the record, he changed and by wife 3 we were very close, and my mom was not upset. She was glad he had quit drinking too. I had a step dad, 2 step moms, step brothers, sisters, halves, wholes…you name it. I am "experienced" with the step family stuff, but it was back in the good ole' days. A lot different.
Why do these new-wave BMS and skids need daddy to be their be all to end all? I swear SD would have tried to jump SO's bones too in her teen years had he not nipped the mini wife shit in the bud because of a therapist's advice! I didn't get deep into it, but Electra complex seems to define it.
I have always tucked my kids in (short and sweet, tuck the blankets around them, smile and a quick smooch). I was actually surprised DH didn't tuck his girls in (he just sent them off with a "Good night, girls!" as they trotted down the hallway.) I didn't care what DH did, I chose to follow his kids to their rooms, snugged up their blankets, pushed their hair back from their face, and kissed their forehead. They were receptive and quickly DH got on board. No matter how difficult the day may have been, I always want to end it on this good note.
I enjoy the tradition of it. When the skids/kid outgrow it, I'll probably still peek my head in their room and wish them a good night.
**No matter how difficult the day may have been, I always want to end it on this good note. **
This is something DH lives by both with SS though bedtime is not always good at first as he is starting make SS read the books on his own but with assistance.
BUT is also something DH and I follow for each other. It has saved many sleepless nights typically we try not to go to bed without the other one, sometimes I will go first but even if SS is up we will turn on the TV and I will go sit outside with DH to talk for a few minutes. When he is gone though we may not talk much there is typically a short call or I love you text just so we show love at the end of the day.
I think this some thing many of us could take away from though it seems like most DH/SO's on this site seem more resistant than mine.
Well, now I wish that I would've tucked my boys in all these years. I yell upstairs and say goodnight. My kids are 11, 15 and 16. I wonder what they would do if I tried to tuck them in. My 15 year old sleeps on the top mattress on a bunk bed. I couldn't reach him if I tried. My parents didn't tuck me in so I guess that's why I never did it for my children. Oh well............
SD13 just stopped asking SO to tuck her in about 6 months to a year ago.
I also thought she was too old for it. My dad stopped tucking me in when I was like 9. Every kid is different I guess.
I wouldn't say anything about it if I were you. Maybe if it goes past 12-13 then say something. It's not worth an argument.
Until the child stops asking.
Until the child stops asking. I've got boy13 and girl11 and they both still want me to come and tell them good night, give them a hug, and my daughter a kiss. It's not your child and not your decision. I'd stay out of it.
I haven't said anything to DH
I haven't said anything to DH or SD about this, I wanted to get input from you guys here first. This is the reason I love this site.
I see what you guys are all saying, and I'll let things be. Thanks everyone
The kid will tell Daddy when
The kid will tell Daddy when its time and it may not be until she leaves home.
I agree as long as the child
I agree as long as the child wants it. I think kids get used to and it doesn't harm in any way! It's reassuring to kids and just the normal routine.
My son is 12 and we still
My son is 12 and we still tuck in every night. Prayers, chit chat, and a quick tuck in.
I see no issue with it - DH
I see no issue with it - DH tucks SS6 in more nights unless SS falls asleep on the couch to which he will try to send him to his bed most the time though it normally ends up in at least one book. One the weekends he doesn't as most of the time SS wants to sleep on the couch.
I don't think there is a age it has to stop as long as it is done appropriately. Honestly until I moved out and even when I went back to visit my mom growing up we had a routine.
My daughter just turned 20.
My daughter just turned 20. When she's home? I will still go in when I go upstairs, say goodnight, give her a kiss on the forehead. Tell her I love her. What's the big deal?
Tucking in is fine. No
Tucking in is fine. No laying down, fetching water, etc., etc. Once tucked in…that's it (unless there is an illness involved). In that case, still no sleeping in, just frequent checks and maybe moving them closer, but NOT in your bed.
Have you lost it any name?
Have you lost it any name? You know the last thing these mini wives want to see before they masturbate is their father's face! GROSS!
I know right? My parents
I know right? My parents divorced when I was 4, but my BM was a Queen. She NEVER said one bad word and he used to beat the shit out of her. For the record, he changed and by wife 3 we were very close, and my mom was not upset. She was glad he had quit drinking too. I had a step dad, 2 step moms, step brothers, sisters, halves, wholes…you name it. I am "experienced" with the step family stuff, but it was back in the good ole' days. A lot different.
Why do these new-wave BMS and skids need daddy to be their be all to end all? I swear SD would have tried to jump SO's bones too in her teen years had he not nipped the mini wife shit in the bud because of a therapist's advice! I didn't get deep into it, but Electra complex seems to define it.
I have always tucked my kids
I have always tucked my kids in (short and sweet, tuck the blankets around them, smile and a quick smooch). I was actually surprised DH didn't tuck his girls in (he just sent them off with a "Good night, girls!" as they trotted down the hallway.) I didn't care what DH did, I chose to follow his kids to their rooms, snugged up their blankets, pushed their hair back from their face, and kissed their forehead. They were receptive and quickly DH got on board. No matter how difficult the day may have been, I always want to end it on this good note.
I enjoy the tradition of it. When the skids/kid outgrow it, I'll probably still peek my head in their room and wish them a good night.
>No matter how difficult the
>No matter how difficult the day may have been, I always want to end it on this good note.
This. I also always found it was a good time for us to talk. About whatever. Not lecture, just talk.
If it's a routine/ritual parent and child enjoy? Why get worked up over it?
**No matter how difficult the
**No matter how difficult the day may have been, I always want to end it on this good note. **
This is something DH lives by both with SS though bedtime is not always good at first as he is starting make SS read the books on his own but with assistance.
BUT is also something DH and I follow for each other. It has saved many sleepless nights typically we try not to go to bed without the other one, sometimes I will go first but even if SS is up we will turn on the TV and I will go sit outside with DH to talk for a few minutes. When he is gone though we may not talk much there is typically a short call or I love you text just so we show love at the end of the day.
I think this some thing many of us could take away from though it seems like most DH/SO's on this site seem more resistant than mine.
Well, now I wish that I
Well, now I wish that I would've tucked my boys in all these years. I yell upstairs and say goodnight. My kids are 11, 15 and 16. I wonder what they would do if I tried to tuck them in. My 15 year old sleeps on the top mattress on a bunk bed. I couldn't reach him if I tried. My parents didn't tuck me in so I guess that's why I never did it for my children. Oh well............
SD13 just stopped asking SO
SD13 just stopped asking SO to tuck her in about 6 months to a year ago.
I also thought she was too old for it. My dad stopped tucking me in when I was like 9. Every kid is different I guess.
I wouldn't say anything about it if I were you. Maybe if it goes past 12-13 then say something. It's not worth an argument.