I would remind her "dad said bedtime is 8:30 and its now 8:15" then leave it at that and walk away. No further reminders and they can deal with the consequences when she is too tired to get up or falls asleep in school. Give yourself a break and that is their problem to worry about. I use to ride my Skids when left in charge about doing chores their dad gave them. Ha I started to simply remind them ONCE that "dad wants such and such done by 9:00pm. They waited for me to nag them and I let them not worry about it but their dad would come home {then late night} and often made them get out of bed to do as instructed plus additional consequences he felt like giving them.

Once I stepped back, it got worse then the dad was left to parent them and things have since been becoming better over time. I love telling them now "dad wants this..." and they jump on it on their own.

I think you're totally in the right here. Plus, if you went back on your word about the early weekend bedtime, you'd be undermining your own authority. Kids need to know that we mean business and consequences are real.

No you are certainly not wrong. You are the only authority figure in the house so what you say goes and your DH should be backing you up. If I was your DH I would tell you "If SD causes any problems at night, CALL ME! I will straighten her out." I have had long-standing issues with my SS and his bedtime antics. Bedtime is supposed to be 9pm. I can count on one hand how many times SS actually respected the bedtime schedule and still have enough fingers left to count how old my youngest child is. Just last night he went to bed at 9:10 and that is only because that was the time I returned home. I come in the door and SS and DW were like "Oh crap! kaygoodnightbye!".

I've hollered, I've bitched and complained (on these forum boards and off) about the problems SS causes with going to bed. When he was little, if you told him, "Okay SS it is time for bed" or "Hold still SS while I saw off your left leg", his reaction would be EXACTLY the same; water works of tears, crying, anxiety, fear, etc. He is 13 years old now and he still has bedtime meltdowns. Plus he tries to sneak in his electronics into bed with him.

It stressed me out. I was always the "bedtime warden" each and every night. DW would tell him to get to bed but she never laid a heavy hand on him. "Sweetie, it is time for bed now...Oh okay, you can have an apple, a banana and pint of milk before going to bed I suppose. But after the 3 hours it takes you to eat all that stuff, it is straight to bed okay?".

So now, I have completely disengaged from SS at bedtimes. After 9pm, he doesn't exist. If he comes to me to ask me for something, I say "Go ask your mother." Enforcing the bedtime rule on SS was not a hill I was willing to die on. There are other issues I have with SS which is more pressing.

We had bedtime issues with SD when we first moved in together (she was 2 at the time- she's 5 now). It took many nights of us putting her in her room, shutting the door, and letting her cry it out before she stopped the bedtime nonsense. We now live in peace (at least where bedtime is concerned).

How old is your SD?

It is totally normal for kids to stall going to bed. My 11 year old does it every night. So my new rule is, what ever his BEDTIME is, he has to start getting ready for bed 30 minutes prior because it takes him soooooo long to do anything. So far it has worked like a charm.