Off, on, off again ..
Forums:
I'm talking about the change order DH and BM have been "negotiating" for months now.
BM decides on a whim that she no longer wants to negotiate and that she's just filing with the court. It's a bluff every time. As of 3 weeks ago, the order was back and DH's attorney finalized their last round of changes and sent out the "final" copy 2 weeks ago.
Last night she told DH on the phone that her and her attorney have rejected the change order and have filed with the courts. Again.
DH called his attorney. She said there's no record of the filing with the courts yet, but she is PISSED. DH has reached his limit I guess, because he's instructed his attorney to file by the end of the day.
So here we go .. again.
I'll also add that the
I'll also add that the biggest change in the change order that DH is requesting is to GIVE BM weekend time. He wants to rearrange the schedule so that he doesn't lose days, but so that the skids get to spend weekend time with BM too. He currently has all weekends, which he's known from the start wouldn't be sustainable long term.
DH had this convo on the phone last night with SD7:
SD7: SD5 and I have been talking and we want to spend some weekends at mommy's house.
DH: Me and your mommy are working that out right now, so don't worry about it okay?
SD7: Mommy told us that we can't have weekends with her because you won't allow it.
DH: Let me and mommy work that out, these are grown up issues that me and mommy will work out.
SD7 moved on from there and he asked to speak to BM afterwards. When asking her about it, she said she's done "protecting" him to the skids and from here on out, they will get all the truth.
I wonder if she shared the truth about him trying to work with her to GIVE her weekend time, and to give her the time fore her "family reunion" weekend?
She never actually pursued
She never actually pursued any options legally. Honestly, if she wants weekend time so bad, I'm not sure a judge in our state wouldn't give it to her .. I don't see what she gains out of dragging her feet and poisoning the kids.
Sad doesn't even begin to
Sad doesn't even begin to describe it.
The whole mess makes me sick.
Forget what she wants, or what DH wants .. why in the world would anyone do this to their own kids?
This is where I struggle the
This is where I struggle the most .. how do you tell the skids anything without furthering the problem? I mean, DH wants to set the record straight more than anything, but not at the risk of putting the skids even further into the middle, kwim?
I'm just afraid that his refusal to say anything to them about it will cement what BM is telling them as truth in their minds. It just sucks.
My DH handles this by simply
My DH handles this by simply saying, 'that isn't true, and you are not old enough to be involved in grown up talk.' We have a BM who has really tried to PAS the kids against us. The oldest will ask straight out if what BM is saying is true or not. We just tell her 'no' and leave it at that. She then tells the younger skids that it isn't true, I think. We leave communication open enough that they feel comfortable talking to us when something is bothering them, but we keep the adult conversation out of it. So far this seems to work for us. The girls just ignore the PASing. SS6 is falling for it, though. This was expected since he is a momma's boy, and she babies the crap out of him.
It is a fine line to walk, but it can be done. Never say anything bad about BM. However, the record can be set straight with a yes or no answer usually. Just don't elaborate on it.
That's what he's afraid of.
That's what he's afraid of. They're living in a house with 3 grown adults, all filling their heads with lies or skewed versions of the truth. Maybe not to the same extent as in your situation, but I have no doubts it will eventually get there.
The lines are not clearly drawn here
Looks like BM actually did
Looks like BM actually did file this time. Our case has been updated and Writ of Summons issued today, according to our state case search website.