You are here

Adult adoption

Old sm's picture

My Sd and I actually get along. She is an adult and getting married soon. Her bio mom is a mess and she doesn't want anything to do with her. She has asked me to adopt her so I can be her "real" mom and consider any children she has as my grandchildren. She wants to cut the ties with her mom and feels it would make our family even stronger. I didn't know an adult could adopt another adult. Anyone have any experience with that kind of thing?

notasm3's picture

Rags, who posts here, adopted his SS as an adult.

My SIL (married to my DH's brother) adopted her SD as an adult. When she married her first DH he had a daughter who lived with the BM who was a mess. My SIL took the SD in at about 5 (negotiated with BM to make it happen). When she and the bio father divorced she kept custody of the child. I wasn't around then, but I think neither the bio dad nor mom cared.

The now adopted daughter and my SIL are extremely close. She totally knows who was there for her. When she was an adult she asked if my SIL would adopt her. My SIL would have adopted her earlier except that the bio mom would never agree even though she moved to another state and almost never saw her.

My SIL adopted her SD 20-25 years ago. It has worked very well for all of them. My SIL was always the grandma and is now the great grandmother to her grandchildren's children. My SIL and her SD are both lovely women.

Rags's picture

Absolutely. My adult SS asked me to adopt him two years ago. We made that happen. In Texas with an adult adoption there is no requirement to notify any of the birth parents. We contacted our attorney a few days after my son asked for me to adopt him and the adoption was final on the 4th day after we contacted our attorney. It is a very direct and simple process... at least it is in Texas.

My SS was 22 at that time. I have been his dad since his mom and I met and started dating when SS was 15mos old and married the week before he turned 2yo. I raised him as my own. He will be 25 this summer.

He has almost no contact with the SpermClan. He has little tolerance for their toxic manipulative crap.

If you are in Texas I would be happy to refer you to our attorney. Shoot me a PM.

SMforever's picture

I think you need to give some long thought and consideration to the decision and its consequences, for yourself and others.

In Rags case, it clearly was a case of appreciation and love between Rags and a son he raised as his own from a very early age.

What I mean is...just take care that the move isn't being made to spite a deadbeat parent, or to cause further hurt. Sure, it's lovely that she wants to acknowledge you, but is it necessary to go as far as formalising it? Why not just carry on as things are. Or is SD afraid of her bio mother trying to gain access to any future children. The only sensible reason I can see for a legal move would be to be able to block access to,vulnerable people.

Acratopotes's picture

I'm sorry I would not adopt an adult, I will simply say - Hon I consider you as my daughter since the day I married your father, I do not need paper to tell me so.....

No piece of paper can make you family, and I never would ask any one to adopt me as an adult if it's Bill Gates, I will have no problem with adoption Wink

2Tired4Drama's picture

You need to consult a lawyer, and ask YOUR close family and friends what they think about this. (Do you have any biological children of your own? - if you do, that will complicate things even further.)

If you adopt this young woman as your daughter, she becomes your legal next of kin and can make decisions regarding you and your resources (money, property, etc.) Is that what you want?

As Acra said, there is no reason to legally adopt another adult in order to have a close and loving relationship with the children and be a "grandma."