0 - 60 temper with ex-DH
I'm calm now, but ... crud. My evening has disintegrated.
Returning from SO's house this afternoon, I visit with my Mom, come home, then agree BS-13 can go visit/stay with Dad since Dad seems so lonely. (Ex-DH works overseas 30:30, his wife and the Mystery Twins are now near the Black Sea and he doesn't have many friends in-country.) Fine.
BS-13 is supposed to shovel. Lies that it is ALL DONE. I discover that factoid, when go out to play nicely with ex-DH exchange. Car is about two feet away from sidewalk due to snow/ice. All good. I get the mail and start to shovel the sidewalk that BS-13 was supposed to have finished. (I know, I know)
Anyway, ex-DH puts car in drive and back-end slides ... I smirk. Crappy driver. He backs up and gooses the bloody thing. Showing off for his son, hoping for a fish-tail start or just an idiot? It happened fast, back end of SUV came towards me and KEPT coming towards me. I shoved off the truck with one hand, fell out of one Croc, dropped the mail in the gutter and seriously thought of whacking the side of the SUV with the shovel. (Yeah, then I'd have to pay for it.)
Zero-to-6o pissed-off scared-angry I used all of my eduction and class: "Do you want to get out of that car and I'll beat the crap out of you ?!!"
A totally visceral reaction, but I meant it. That fool came one slip away from friggin' seriously hurting me and I get the "I was just trying to pull away.... What's your problem? ... Why are you mad? You're not actually hurt." Ass-hat. Anyone who drives in snow/ice KNOWS when their car is sliding ..., or puts it in 4x4 or rolls down the window and warns a person standing next to the car that you're gonna try and goose it and fishtail/muscle it out. Hell on lawns.
(Aside: I threw an orange across the living room at my husband back in 1998, but we've not had physical violence between us. Mentioning that 'cuz I know that there are posters who live with it. My threat of violence is isolated and situational.)
Ex-DH returned shovel and mail from gutter onto my front porch after I stormed into house and slammed door.
A bit later I texted my child that I was sorry that I had yelled at his Dad in front of him. It's not alright at all. I didn't get into the explanations/justifications, tried to keep it simple and on target.
Now that I'm calm and have a glass of wine, I feel like a crappy mom. I should have anticipated the problem. I should have anticipated the machisimo of father/son. I should have anticipated that he'd do something foolish. I should not have yelled at the dad in front of the son. Dang. Crazy BM. Just when I was riding the high from a good experience with taking SGD-11 and BS-13 to a museum ....
I'm confused as to why you
I'm confused as to why you are apologizing and feeling guilty to a son who lied to you. Wasn't he the reason you were there in the first place?
Kid lied about shoveling the
Kid lied about shoveling the sidewalk.
Ex-DH acted like a jerk trying a burn-out on ice and scared the snot out of me.
Guess I wasn't too clear.
If a stranger had done that
If a stranger had done that to you, you would have reacted. Why should you take it because it was your ex-DH? He's the idiot who should be apologising.
Yup. But being ex-DH, child
Yup. But being ex-DH, child in car I worry. Stranger? I'd have smacked the shovel and let the liability roll.
Yes, I left the situation.
Yes, I left the situation. There was no stepping back, breathe 10 times, focus, reflect and re-engage.
I wanted to clock ex-DH upside the head for hot-rodding the car with me anywhere nearby. If you've been at a car show during a "burn-out", you're grabbing your kids 'cuz there is no telling where the back of that car is gonna swing. I was physically scared and it took an hour to come down from it.
Perhaps it was childish to go into the house and slam the door. Staying out and flaying around in justified anger would have made a bad situation worse. And, I'd already proven the potty-mouth.
Shoveling in crocs ? Yup. Socks with sandals year-around. My child wore shorts and a t-shirt to school today --- skateboarding on snowpack. Cannot civilize certain folks.
Oh bullshit you should have
Oh bullshit you should have anticipated your XH's stupid dangerous behavior. I would have beat the shit out of his car with the shovel and if he had gotten out of the car I would have moved to his skull. I would have sent my kid back in the house and daddy could have waited for his next 30:30 in country to see the kid.
I have zero tolerance for stupid careless bullshit particularly when that behavior endagers someone other than the idiot's life. Particularly mine.
Grrrrr!!!!!! :O
Sorry for the rant. I work
Sorry for the rant. I work in an industry where careless bullshit can get people killed very easily. As cliche as it may sound, accidents do not just happen, they are caused and every one of them is preventable.
If this idiot had made contact with the OP with his vehicle or if she had been injured when trying to avoid his out of control vehicle she should have owned his idiot ass and put he and his new family living in a cardboard box under an overpass somewhere for the rest of his miserable life.
Grrr!!! Careless bullshit just pisses me off to no end.
Not my kid. The OP's kid. I
Not my kid. The OP's kid. I was just ranting and visualizing caving in the idiot's skull with the snow shovel. }:)
Rags, I kow-tow to the
Rags, I kow-tow to the expert.
Under-breath: "Ex-Dh used to be an ISO 9000/9001 inspector in the old days. Safety First".
Sadly I have seen too many
Sadly I have seen too many people die or seriously injured by carelessness in my industry. I lost my first one in 2012. He was killed by a client supervisor who was driving a plant vehicle at 2X+ the posted speed limit on the plant while talking on his cell phone in an explosion zone where no cellphones were allowed and only intrinsically safe electronics could enter. The driver dropped his phone and when he reached across to the opposite floor board he swerved and ran over my guy who was in compliance with plant pedestrial regulations. My guy was a young electrician who had postponed his annual leave to work OT to finish paying for his wedding. That moment of carelessness destroyed the lives of two families and ended the life of a very promissing young tradesman.
In addition to that fatality investigation I have participated in far too many injury incident and near miss investigations and everyone of them was caused by someone being careless. The OP's near miss from being run over by her idiot XH just pissed me off.
I'm still stuck on the fact
I'm still stuck on the fact that Indigo wears Crocs. With socks, none the less.
You need an intervention.
Were you peeking? Actually,
Were you peeking? Actually, they are red crocs. My muck boots are pink. Socks are white. I think it adds a certain "something" to the outfit.
Don't worry... Indigo isn't
Don't worry... Indigo isn't the only one. I don't do boots. I rarely do shoes. If I have to don footwear at ALL... I guess Crocs are acceptable. Have worn socks with as well. Minnesota is COLD. But not cold enough for shoes.
Mine are black though.
Yeah, I don't think you
Yeah, I don't think you should feel bad either. Sure, if you yelled at his dad every time you saw him, then that might make you a "crazy BM". This was a one-time thing, and it was a reaction you would have had to ANYONE almost running you over, not just to your ex! Nah, you apologized to your kid for losing it (good for you), now just let it go.
And for god's sake get some decent (non-fugly) footwear. CROCS? Good lord, woman!