Stupid? Hopeful? Or Selective Memory?

Me to DH lastnight: Anything planned for this weekend?

DH: I gotta take my girls to dinner.

ME: Okay. Remember BS is at his dad's this weekend. (Weekends BS is at his dad's we usually go all out- drinking, eating out, sleeping in, lots of sex, dancing, movies, etc but its not a problem if he goes for a few hours to see his kids)

DH: Well you can just go to dinner with us.

Me: No

DH: Yeah, we can do dinner with the girls

Seriously DH? You know I dont like your daughters. You know I cant stand them actually. You know I have ZERO interest being around them. Especially at dinner.

I just told you a few weeks ago- QUIT PUSHING ME to like your girls. I dont even want them over at the house. I REFUSE to be around people who are rude and disrespectful to me.

YET here he is asking me to go to dinner with them.

Nice that I am "included" but still.... I'd prefer not, thank you very much

So what gives? Is he just stupid, hopeful or selective memory? }:)

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"a) their kids don't like us

"a) their kids don't like us and b) we don't like their kids. Even more a refusal to believe that a led to b"

you are actually a genius. seriously lol! spot on!

Problem is they never see

Problem is they never see them as rude, disrespectful, ungrateful and trying to get rid of you and if they do see any of that behavior then it's SM's fault.

Actually while I was typing

Actually while I was typing this I did think...maybe, just maybe I will go to dinner and just be myself and show them I am not going anyway.

But I am still at the point where their little actions and snubs bother me. I dont even think I can fake nice.

So its best for me to not go. LOL

DH makes excuses. "They are

DH makes excuses.

"They are just kids."

"YOU ZERO are taking it the wrong way."

"Get over it.. you are the grown up."

Because they dont treat him that way, he doesnt see them treat me the way they do, if that makes sense???

DH would rather just "act" like we all got along, go through the motions, so that HE would feel better about his parenting.

He has said before that he has talked to them. I have asked before (along time ago) to have family discussions, because honestly I didnt trust him to really address the issues. But the 1 time we did that, YSD started crying so DH ended the conversation.

My husband pushes SD6 on me

My husband pushes SD6 on me too. It's so irritating. I've been put in an awkward position by BM and her mom, so I'm uncomfortable being around SD right now. My husband is so delusional about it and thinks that I should spend MORE time with SD. I insist that he needs to be the one that she spends time with if he and I are going our separate ways for any period of time. SD always wants to do whatever I'm doing, and he doesn't want to say "no" to his poor little COD so he pushes her on me.

Step kids come to spend time with their dad, not with their SM. Why don't these husbands get it?

ETA: My husband also pushes her on me under the guise of "but you're such a positive influence on her, etc" when really he just doesn't feel like parenting her.

DH used to say "But they like

DH used to say "But they like you! They love you!" Holy shit! That is how they treat people they like and love?

That must come in the DH

That must come in the DH handbook!!! Because my DH says the SAME EXACT FRICKING THING!!! Man, if they didn't like me I'd be in for a helluva ride!

All 3. Crazy right? They just

All 3. Crazy right? They just do not fucking get it.

The only reason my DH pushed

The only reason my DH pushed for me to do more with SD when she was younger, was because he knew I was a better role model for her than BM. BUT he understood when I told him that I'm not her mother so knock it off. And he did. He doesn't push her on me at all now that she's an adult.

I think your DH wants to pretend his kids aren't that bad, and you giving in and going to dinner with them would prove that, in his mind at least. All aboard the train to la la land.

My DH does this with my SSs

My DH does this with my SSs and it drives me bonkers!! He notices they don't say hello, answer me when spoken to, say thank you or interact with me unless they want something, so his new effort after I said I'm done with them is to push them to acknowledge my presence or departure, say please, thank you, you're welcome, make a point to say goodnight and give me a hug, etc. I HATE it!!! They don't WANT to do it, please DON'T make them!! I don't want to do it either and it's just easier on everyone if you don't force it upon us. I'm sorry my bios treat you respectfully and interact with you without prodding, but your sons have been manipulated and trained by your psycho exW and your mother and I just don't care anymore...leave us to coexist in distant harmony.