You are here

How owning a Cockatoo bird with DH is like raising a newborn together- DISASTER

zerostepdrama's picture

DH and I do not plan on having kids together. Main reasons- he had a vasectomy 15 years ago and I would not want to get it reversed and then it never work out. I think the anticipation every month would be awful. Plus his kids are older, my BS is older. Doesn't really make sense to start over.

But in my head- I dont think that DH is a "good" dad. He is not the kind of father I would want for my child- if that makes sense. I often think very lowly of BM that she kept having kids with him knowing that he was a half ass father. (Same for DH, I really should have more sympathy for the skids) I know, I know not a very nice thing to say about my husband but it's the truth. (as how I see it). I have high expectations of how a parent should be.

Anyways about a month ago we acquire an Umbrella Cockatoo. (long story). I told DH NO NO NO I dont want the bird. I dont like birds. I have 3 cats I am taking care of and it's enough. He still brings the bird home.

Cockatoos are very high maintainence and very much like newborn babies. They require a lot of attention. When they are out of their cage you have to keep an eye on them because they will tear things up. They poop all over. They also need a diet of 70/30 birdfood/regular food.

So if you can see where this is going... yes I am the one taking care of the dang bird.

I prepare his meals for the week (cut up fruit and veggies, cook pasta and rice, cut up lean meat, etc). It's like prepping meals for a toddler.

I also feed him every morning and night. Which in all fairness I guess I am feeding the cats, so might as well feed the bird.

DH has many times let the bird out of the cage and didnt pay attention and he has chewed up 3DS games, necklaces, plasitc bottles, game cards.

DH also forgets to check where the bird has been, to check and see if he pooped. Then he doesnt clean up the poop right away. Sometimes even forgets about it. (I am OCD about my house, so as you can imagine this is HUGE for me... lots of stress and crying here).

Since I am the busy adult in the house with cooking, cleaning and taking BS to sports, etc I can't or dont always get the bird out when I get home from work. Ideally he should be let out right away since he has been in a cage all day (it wont hurt him being in the cage all day, but just trying to be a good pet parent). So you would think DH would make more of an effort to come home after work and not stop at his buddies house for a bit. Noooooo so poor bird stuck in the cage....

I am also the only one that has made the bird toys and bought toys for him. Have done ALL the research on how to properly care for a Cockatoo.

I just think sometimes... this is exactly what it would be like to have a baby with DH. I would take care of it. Feed it. Be the one at home with the baby.....

And true to being one of DH's "kids" the bird is sassy as hell! He throws temper trantums if he doesnt get what he wants. Screeches, shrieks, bangs his head up and down, chases after you if he wants your attention.

But unlike one of DH's "kids" I love the bird Smile LOL

Comments

Willow2010's picture

lol...I would have to bonk your DH on the head!!

I love birds. I would love a cockatoo. They are just so expensive and hard to take care of.

I am thinking about getting a parrotlet. They are like tiny parrots. So darn cute.

zerostepdrama's picture

So you are saying if I ever get the urge to ship him off... you will take him Wink Free of charge of course... lol

PetStr's picture

I have an African Grey parrot! Even though he is a lot of work I do enjoy taking care of him a lot more than the stepkids. He's also a lot smarter than they are

zerostepdrama's picture

PetStr- any bird owning tips that you want to share? I'm so paranoid about making sure he has everythng he needs and wants that I am driving myself crazy.

I am a cat person. I know what cats want and need. I know their body language, etc. With the bird I am so confused. LOL

brutallyhonest's picture

Ditto here. My DH and I adopted an older dog who was a gentle giant happy go lucky, perfect dog. Never chewed anything, every easy going. It was kind of a 60/40 split on responsibility which was fine as I was the one that wanted the dog. DH helped and took care of him, but would often forget to fill up the water bowl or do other basic things for the dog if I wasn't home. However he loved the dog and they bonded, he was devastated when we had to put him to sleep.

After that dog passed, we got a puppy who has been very high maintenance (German Shepherd). The new responsibility split appears to be 99/1. If I ever did want to have a child with DH this experience would have killed it completely. Can he help with night time potty breaks-- nope always wakes me up. Does he have any patience with the usual puppy antics, nope just flips out every time. Our puppy has ended up having some allergies issues and which means he is prone to ear infections and some other stuff, can DH help with cleaning his ears (2 person job)? Nope always bitches about it, complains about the Vet bills even though they all come of my budget. And this is the kicker, DH gets home earlier because he is a teacher. My job is higher paying and much higher pressure with an extreme busy season that lasts 3 months. The puppy goes to doggie day care a few days a week, but on the days he doesn't it helps if someone would play fetch to help wear him out. Can DH do that since he is home early, just for a 1/2 hour? No, not without bitching and wanting to hand off the puppy to me the minute I step in the door so he can disappear into man stuff before I can even change clothes. On doggie daycare days when he has had 3-4 hours of afternoon alone time all to himself at the house, he will still avoid any responsibility for the dog when I bring him home in the evening. In addition I do all early morning walks, breakfast etc. I feel like a single dog parent and if this is how he would treat a child we had together, NO DEAL.

I'm often struck thinning. The puppy will grow out of this and be a good dog, but I put up with your SD for years and didn't act like this. Man up dude.

not2sureimsaneanymore's picture

I grew up with cockatoos and a bad tempered macaw.

Clip their wings and let him go outside with you when you're doing yard work. They do love the fresh air, the sun, and the spritz bottle (these guys love showers unless they were somehow traumatized by it). They also like to run around on the grass, chew on trees, especially fi you have a fruit tree. We have a cherry tree and my parents let them run around on it, they do come down when we have peanuts so that's how we get them back.

Have them in the kitchen, with newspapers laid out so it's easy clean up, on a chair that you don't mind getting chewed up (metal is easiest) and they can snack while you're cooking dinner.

Ours used to walk around on the table and look in our bowls and pick what they'd like out of it. It was a regular zoo.

They really are awesome animals.