How to have a relationship with the inlaws when you hate the skids.
Is it even possible?
DH has 4 sisters and a brother. One sister I have not met. Most of his siblings are younger then him by 10-19 years. So their ages are closer to the skids then to DH.
We were recently on vacation and saw SIL who is 22. She is married and just had a baby. I was just SO IRKED anytime she talked about the skids or brought up the skids. Even her husband brought up BM's brother. Just in general in a story about him owning a car shop and he knows him and he didnt know it was DH's ex's brother. I was just ANNOYED.
I want to act like the skids dont exist.
I obviously cant be and am not mad at his family for talking about their own blood. But I just dont want to hear about them. I know I am not sounding very logical. They know I have had issues with them and I dont really like the skids. Of course it makes me wonder what the skids saw about ME to the inlaws. I dont even want that to be something I have to think about. I am so tired of defending myself.
I find that I want to be closed off towards my inlaws. I dont want to be involved with more people who deal with the skids. But at the same time, I like them. They have been kind to me and nice and I dont want to miss out on a relationship just because of the skids.
Does anyone else have feelings like this? How do I work through them?
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Comments
BM still lives up any of her
BM still lives up any of her ex in law's arses who will let her crawl up there.
I am not rude to DH's parents but I definitely hold them at arms length and never offer any personal details about my life and absolutely nothing about my life with DH. Can't trust them.
I totally get what you are
I totally get what you are saying! I know how you feel! Do you expect "like" or understand or bond with every adult you meet? Of course not that is insane! Right? So why would you have those feelings towards every child you met? Right? Plus there is step issues which I get too! It can be so hard! But you have to set it aside and realize you have come into the already established family, so the kids mean a lot to the in laws of course and they want to talk about them , understandable, and you do not, and that is understandable too! You can do a few things, just interact and talk about the family members weather you like them or not, and make the effort to not let it annoy you, or you can change the subject each time, "Wow this food is good, did you try it? Did you make it? Recipe please!" Or you can chose not to go around them and just be polite if you have to ie funerals, weddings. Families can be so annoying! And complicated!