BM not taking ANY action
DH called bm On 8/11 to discuss sd11 had written an obituary for little sister. BM during call acted as if it wasn't too pressing though she agreed to call the childs therapist to setup an appreciate for all of us to go in and discuss. We then received a text saying "I'm sick to my stomach over this". I thought bullshit, but nevertheless we took it for what it worth . She asked us for dates for appt. Which we sent text in reply and here we are no appointment has been set!
First thing that was concerning to me about dh conversation bm was her lack of concern for the seriousness of this situation and threat. Second, was the fact that we said we were going to take her to a therapist and she insisted we only use her therapist that child also sees and dh has seen in the past while sd11 was 4. Third, yesterday I was on Glensackd.com and was reading about PAS and came across this...
Finally, Kopetski says that alienated children may be taken to mental health professionals, but are unlikely to receive the help they need. That's because the alienating parent will attempt to control access to the "right" type of professional, i.e. one who confirms the parent's biases in the matter.
I got chills! I texted dh and told him we needed to find our own therapist immediately, set an appointment and take sd11. Then we can discuss with bm, because she is obviously NOT concerned about the choking that occurred or the obituary written. Not to mention all the other issues we have Bern having with sd's. There is definitely PAS and we need to prevent any further damage. He agreed!
I know feel like I have to start a list of things to do for skids because my brain is fried from all these little things that keep happening and all issues with bm. We are changing visitation schedules, need a therapist, need to address stealing, install locks on bedroom door, etc etc etc!!! Does this ever end?!?! I've had a headache since Sunday and have not eaten or slept in 24 hours. I have black circles under my eyes and am losing my hair cause of this stress!!
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Yes you read it correctly!
Yes you read it correctly! She is 11 years old and has verbally said she wants to see her sister 6 dead. She wants to kill her, she wanted to kill her when she was in her mothers stomach. My first blog on ST discusses this incident choking in detail. A few days later she wrote the obituary and I won't get into detail but it was scary when I found it. We immediately called bm and NOTHING has happened. sd still exhibits volience towards sd6 but is sneaker about it all.
WHOOOOAAAA. get that kid in
WHOOOOAAAA. get that kid in counseling - get your own therapist who you are comfortable with and nip that stuff in the bud. That is not healthy. Screw bm, get it done.
She sounds like she needs
She sounds like she needs some help, but I would've started w/a serious WHOOPIN so she knows she's in trouble.
Something is def. off. When she's around, I would keep your eyes and ears open. My step son gets jealous of my BD, she's 6 and he's 10 and he's said I hate you and I wish you weren't here so I am ALWAYS on the watch as a "just in case" b/c you never know what kids are thinking. Nothing like choking has happened in my house, but when kids get mad and jealous I wouldn't put it past some of them to do something to hurt the other kid so they feel better.
I told my DH before that I don't trust him around her b/c she's smaller and can't defend herself and he said he wont hurt her. As this year has past, I don't think he will do anything, but I still listen to everything that is said and call him out on it.
BM needs some help too to not think this is serious. I would do like you said, take her to a diff. therapist and see what they think. The only part of SD seeing the one the BM suggested is she's been there already and the doc knows about her. If you ended up taking her to the BM's option, I would do it w/out her knowing so you could hear the docs opinion w/out BM around then tell her you went there after the fact. Or do both, then you have a second opinion as well.
If it came down to it I would tell DH that you don't trust her there and that sometime needs to happen like take her out for a day and bring her back home and pick her up the next day. It's not fair to have your daughter afraid of her and wonder if something serious is going to happen all the time and you on edge too. Choking is serious.
Both of the girls are my
Both of the girls are my stepdaughters. They live together at bm and we have eowe and extended holidays, summer vacations, etc. Sometimes we have the for a few days or weeks all depends on the schedule. We discussed with bm separating them. So we would have one and she would have one every weekend or week, but she is opposed because that would not give her anytime with her boyfriend. Ummm, hello we we wouldn't have alone time either, but that isn't the point. She also has said she doesn't want her (the choker) she only wants the little one. She is a narcissist!!