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xtina's picture

This site is full of a bunch of online adult bullies!

I come here to vent my feelings and I get attacked? You would think I am on a site that's called "MY STEP KIDS ARE THE BEST THINGS SINCE SLICED BREAD".org!

Whatever happened to "If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all"?

Some people need to realize that we come here to get away from our problems at home and we need a place to share our feelings and situations with people in similar situations. Yet when we share, we get belittled and bullied?

No, you don't know me and who I am. I share with you one situation in my life and people on here become experts on me and start calling me names.

Believe me, I appreciate constructive criticism but when you straight up attack and belittle me? Find something better to do or at least DONT COMMENT on my posts!

Come on you guys, let's just all be nice. We are all in the same boat here.

Comments

bi's picture

i've had the same problem on another site a few years ago. i told that particular hag that she knew a very little bit about one part of my life. that does not mean she knows me as a person. i am a hell of a lot more than just a sm. yeah, i'm bitter, resentful and angry as a sm. that doesn't mean i'm a bitter, resentful and angry PERSON. huge difference! getting a glimpse into one little part of person's life is far from enough to say you know what kind of a person they are.

i don't what happened, xtina. i don't know who you feel bullied by. but that's how i feel about it in general. you know only as much as i choose to tell you. do NOT assume that that is all there is to me.

Frustr8d1's picture

Tell me about it! Some people on here are just straight up asses, or maybe they are so bitter themselves that instead of looking at their own bitterness, they accuse others and call them names.

Dumb, right?

xtina's picture

Well I posted something about my weekend and all of a sudden I'm "immature" and "classy" (sarcastic on the classy part). It is unfair to call me names when you don't know me. I am actually a very mature and smart person, I have a master's degree in Nursing and I get treated like I'm a low-life loser every time I post something.
On the other hand, there are some wonderful people on here who message me to say they agree with me and am not being treated fairly.

I just don't get it.

Thanks for your comment!

xtina's picture

I don't want any comments about what I posted on my blog a little while ago. I deleted the post and wrote this one.

Frustr8d1's picture

SAF, don't tell me you're surprised that any of your comments ever get deleted LOL

xtina's picture

Right, I just can't believe people can be mean to total strangers. I have never said one mean thing to anyone on here. The way I think is, "would I talk to a stranger at Target that way?"

needinginwardpeace's picture

What was said to you? Sorry I need updating. Hoping to help
I don't think anyone thinks their skids are amazing BTW here, quite the contrary Smile I don't.

xtina's picture

Just people saying mean stuff on my posts. If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!

xtina's picture

And I SAID that I avoid drama.
I was at the bar and drinking for the first time in awhile
She called me a bitch for no reason.
I have never done or said anything to her.
Yes, I retaliated. I ran my mouth when I would never have done that otherwise.
I didn't go over to her to say anything, just to look without being seen.
She started it.
Now drop it!

Willow2010's picture

There is a “mean girl” club, on here for sure.
When I disagree with something, I will state my reason and try to keep it un emotional and not personal or mean. I just point out my point of view.

However…the “mean girls” can be TERRIBLE if they disagree with you. Name calling, passive aggressive comments, rudeness, out and out changing the point of someone else’s post.

I have realized that one does it, just to do it. The other, is just pretty brash.

I know this will be easier said than done. Try to ignore them. And try to Not delete their post. I always leave their comments up, just so other people can see how strange they can be. lol

imjustthemaid's picture

It has been very bad on here lately. I hesitate to post because I have to be in the mood to deal with the shit that comes along with it! They know who they are and they love to stir the shit pot!

People are very brave while sitting behind their computers! I think they forget its an actual person they are attacking and it's not nice!

xtina's picture

^^agree!
I am afraid to post anything about my life anymore because the comments that follow usual equal I'm a horrible person and immature and stupid.
Really?

bi's picture

"out and out changing the point of someone else’s post."

yes, this. i cannot stand this. find one little detail and try to make it the issue. or take on comment in a person's blog and try to twist it to mean something else. if you have to try that hard to be right, you're clearly wrong.

aggravated1's picture

Like when someone posts that their stepkid is driving them crazy, and the response is:

Does your ex husband pay child support for your kid?

LOL-some people try really really hard to cause strife. It's why they are here. Sometimes over and over and over again.

bi's picture

yup. my ex does not pay cs because he is a pos loser. i don't think that means i suddenly lose the right be annoyed when sd is being annoying. :?

xtina's picture

Or THIS:
"my stepkids are driving me insane!"
"Don't be so mean to them. You knew what you were getting into. They are his kids blah blah blah"

Ok... not the point but whatever!

Willow2010's picture

And I assume they are sittig back reading this and loving it!!! They do know who they are and they thrive on this stuff.

Stepcop's picture

This is actually why I rarely post anymore. I get attacked enough for no reason by my sociopath step daughter.

bi's picture

exactly. that is what i said on that other site. if i wanted to be hated for no reason and made out to be evil for being human, i have a sd for that. i sure as hell don't need it from fellow sm's.

bi's picture

don't hesitate to get stuff off your chest. don't let them win. delete nasty comments off your blog, but don't just not blog because of them. i said something about sd getting pregnant on purpose with the expectation of getting wic (i don't think it's responsible to PLAN a pregnancy on state benefits) and i got told that just because i don't like sd doesn't mean her baby should have to starve. :? umm, ok. yeah. cuz that's exactly what i was suggesting. some of the comments are so incredibly stupid and off base that you can't even think about them, because they make no sense.

Dawn-Moderator's picture

I'm working on getting a "LIKE" button just for times like these!!!!!!

"don't hesitate to get stuff off your chest. don't let them win. delete nasty comments off your blog, but don't just not blog because of them."

THANK YOU!!

Krispey Kreme's picture

I come to this site because I have a lot of pent up angst over the decades of skid/MIL/BM hell I've endured. I just think if someone wants to slam me or try to marginalize me for what I say-then they can go pound sand. I have a right to my feelings and if they don't like it, scroll on by. The only time I think I've been pissy was when a skid was on here trying to slander her own SM. I didn't like it, it felt like what I've had to put up with.

So xtina, say what you feel. This is a site for us to vent and Lord knows most of us need to. This is the cheapest therapy I've had. And I really appreciate knowing there are people out there who can relate to me. We all need that, not mean comments-there's been enough of that.

Maybe the people who act like mean girls/trolls are skids in disguise?

Krispey Kreme's picture

Yes! A lot of these fathers (and mothers) helped make their children into truly awful human beings by not insisting on boundaries and respect for their new spouses. The rest of us new spouses have to try to survive in these families and cope with these skids. We need to get things off our chest sometimes. Good advice is welcome, put downs and snarkiness are not.

imjustthemaid's picture

I'm sick of getting attacked because my exh does not pay child support. My DH doesn't seem to mind so why does a complete stranger care so much???

I will give you exh phone number and maybe you can attack him for not paying me!!

I like the certain person on here who brings up every single detail of my life no matter what I post about!! It just makes her look like a whackadoo!!

I delete comments that I don't like.

xtina's picture

Every time I delete a comment, it either reappears or 4 pop up in its place wondering why i deleted.

bi's picture

what's funny is that i'm pretty sure it was that same person who was basically accusing me of wanting sd's baby to starve to death because i bitched about her planning a pregnancy on all the "benefits she would be ENTITLED to!" if it was me on here saying something about being on wic and not getting cs (which i don't and never have gotten), i would be the world's worst mother for not working a job that pays enough for me to not qualify for wic. obviously i would need to be doing more and i'm just being a lazy no good mother instead. but if it's sd on wic, well that's perfectly acceptable, isn't it? yup. the hypocrisy knows no end. there are different rules to follow according to the sm god depending on who you are...

bi's picture

if that's directed at me, you are wrong. i am not a sahm, and fdh does not support my bd 100%. to add to that, he had custody of his brat when he had no job, i was the only one with an income and bm paid 0 in cs. so who was supporting that little brat 100%. yeah. ME.

2ndclasscitizen's picture

Yep, there are a couple of bad apples that love to stir the pot.......but don't let it keep you from here. Most of us our on here to give helpful advice and to receive it. And most of all, to vent our frustrations.

OhGolly's picture

I want comments when I post, that's why I post. If I just want to write it down I'd write in a journal or a private blog. I like to vent and then get responses (good and bad) because sometimes it helps me gain insight on a particular situation. However, I agree 100% that they're are people on here that just flat out attack you just to be mean. I thought this was a site for us to share our experiences and discuss our lives in the step world. Not to argue and belittle one another.

2ndclasscitizen's picture

I agree.

xtina's picture

Wow you know me so well.
I don't fish for compliments or negativity on my character, I simply VENT and not ask for rude people to make rude comments. I appreciate constructive criticism and feel I need to defend myself if I feel people are misunderstanding me or what I posted. If I post something completely unrelated, all of a sudden people say my SO is scum, and a million other things. Totally not the case so of course I get defensive.
Like I commented earlier, I would never say something to the women on this site that I wouldn't say to someone random on the street. And I don't understand why people on her do that.

TASHA1983's picture

The description under the website's name pretty much gives it away...this is a place for SM to V.E.N.T. Not to be attacked or judged or bullied or to be made to feel guilty or ashamed for being HUMAN and having feelings/emotions that others may not understand or agree with!

No, we don't all have to agree on everything or like how other SM/SD feel or handle THEIR situations BUT we can give them "helpful" insight or other options without being petty and sarcastic and acting like a damn lynch mob!

If people want to be bullies and talk shit and put people down maybe they should delete their account here and go do it on Facebook or something...that's a "great" place to find that petty shit!!! Just saying....

IMHO.

TASHA1983's picture

The description under the website's name pretty much gives it away...this is a place for SM to V.E.N.T. Not to be attacked or judged or bullied or to be made to feel guilty or ashamed for being HUMAN and having feelings/emotions that others may not understand or agree with!

No, we don't all have to agree on everything or like how other SM/SD feel or handle THEIR situations BUT we can give them "helpful" insight or other options without being petty and sarcastic and acting like a damn lynch mob!

If people want to be bullies and talk shit and put people down maybe they should delete their account here and go do it on Facebook or something...that's a "great" place to find that petty shit!!! Just saying....

IMHO.

TASHA1983's picture

The description under the website's name pretty much gives it away...this is a place for SM to V.E.N.T. Not to be attacked or judged or bullied or to be made to feel guilty or ashamed for being HUMAN and having feelings/emotions that others may not understand or agree with!

No, we don't all have to agree on everything or like how other SM/SD feel or handle THEIR situations BUT we can give them "helpful" insight or other options without being petty and sarcastic and acting like a damn lynch mob!

If people want to be bullies and talk shit and put people down maybe they should delete their account here and go do it on Facebook or something...that's a "great" place to find that petty shit!!! Just saying....

IMHO.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

This is a generic reply to posts like this: I have been involved in online communities for 10 years now. I don't get emotional, I don't get all hyper and lose sleep over what is posted online.

We are adults, so I don't get into the "online bullying" mantra. If you don't like the involvement here (or anywhere else online) then don't post, don't reply, don't engage. Learning to ingore shit starters, naysayers, name callers, whatever else negative is essential.

With that being said, I don't have to agree with you or anyone else on here. Nor do I have to support bad/petty/trivial behavior. I can voice my opinion and it may be different from yours, doesn't make it wrong, doesn't make it right. It seems sometimes women come here with the most trivial vents. Sometimes it takes a dissenting view to put it into perspective. Doesn't mean people don't support you as a step parent.

Just my two cents.

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

Only men would punch each other and then drink beer together 15 minutes later.

Anon2009's picture

I agree with Old Dart, Echo and Former. Like any site, you are going to get some people you agree with, and some who don't. Many of us aren't always PC. I know I am not. But in the long run, it can be really worthwhile to take a look at all of the comments you receive, analyze them long and hard, and see if, perhaps, there is some truth to them.

I think the reason strong feelings get aroused here is because many of our skids are still minors, so to know that they can sense how others truly feel about them is sad in a way. It's sad for both the SK and the SM, because they have to live with that dislike in one way or another. And living with it can cause everyone involved to act out. It happens all the time. When it comes to adult skids, I think most of us feel (and rightly so) that you get what you give and if they are being a$$es, we can go off on them full blast.