Tired of the back sass
Everytime I ask my stepchildren to do something its met with back sass. " I am, okaaaay, I know , I want my dad, your not my mom". I'm sick and tired of the sass and the attitudes. We had a meeting about it anand DH has been backing me up but they continue to disrespect me. They will only listen if DH says it.
We were watching a movie and I asked the twins to settle down. They said " no you settle down, yeah you settle down". DH sent them to bed early and SD erupted into an all out drama with tears and screaming how I can't boss them around I'm not their mom and she wished they still lived with their mom. She kicked a pillow off the couch during her tantrum and it almost hit the cat. DH told her once , twice to go to her room she wouldn't listen he had to pick her up off the couch and partly drag her to her room.
I get it their upset that BM gave up primary custody and their hearing a different story from her than from us. I get it their fustrated and angry. DH talked to me about it. But I still deserve respect. Why is all the crap being thrown my way instead of at BM! Why do I have to just take it. I'm hurting to. I've had the role of full time SM thrust on me during a time where I'm sruggling to come to terms with the fact that I will never carry a child of my own. I'm allowed to be upset to. DH you have kids and a wife.
I have feelings to and I don't like being an emotional punching bag for three kids. I've tried to comfort and talk to them but they push me away. What am I suppose to do.
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Comments
You are supposed to: 1-
You are supposed to:
1- Continue to present a united front with your DH that they must respect you
and
2- know you will never ever in a million years replace their Mom not even 1/100th of a percent, and it is not right to expect to.
Stay strong. It seems like
Stay strong. It seems like you & your DH are on the right path & it will get better with time.
Sending to bed early may not be a good enough punishment. Time outs throughout the day, or whatever people do...
Idk, when I was a kid if I behaved this way to an adult i would have gotten popped in the mouth. I know that's taboo now though - but I'm sure there's another way to make them 'feel' the punishment. Extra chores? Scrubbing the floor? Something like that.
DH needs to tell them to
DH needs to tell them to listen to you, or give them a punishment. Or else you don't take care of them.
Of course you are not their mom, duh, but apparently their mom is not there. . .
So skids need to figure out, that to respect you will make their life a lot easier and better.
Disengage girl!!
Liquid soap in the mouth.
Liquid soap in the mouth. That's how continually sassing and/or the use of foul language is handled in my house in regards to my Birth Sons. It's temporary, not really harmful, but boy does it get their attention. You might want to have DH do this though since he's the biological parent. It should go with a stern warning that sassing of any kind to anyone is not going to be tolerated.