THE LAST STRAW
After the twin boys cut my hair wednesday and all DH did about it was tell the one who actually cut my hair to stand in the corner for 5 minutes and then apologize. Because DH didn't want to punish his kids he got punished by proxy. He was grounded from sleeping in the same bed with his wife, getting intimate with his wife, getting home cooked meals from his wife and getting any sort of special attention from his wife. He was informed he would continue to be grounded until he dealt with his kids or my hair grew back whatever comes first. At first he thought I was joking after the third night it clicked.
When they came over for weekend visit there was no tv, video games, treats or dessert only for SD9 who was not involved in the incident at hand. DH sat down with the boys and explained why they were in trouble. One for cutting my hair and one for just watching and not doing anything about it and for both running when they got caught. They got the chance to spend their weekend doing chores to make up for what I had to pay to get my hair evened out. Things were great until I came home from work and discovered that SD9 helped herself to my nail polishes and makeup without asking. When DH was confronted with this information he told SD to apologize to me. She walks out wearing my makeup and nail polish and says she didn't do it. DH says well we really don't have proof soooooo. No the proof is all over her. DH told her to say sorry and never do it again.
Well that was not good Enough for me. I unplugged her TV and put it in the garage with the boy's TV. I took away all sweets and stashed them in my room now no one may have sweets. I also took a tube of her lipgloss and asked her how it feels to have someone touch her things without asking. I didn't put it on or anything I wanted her to feel how it feels when someone opens your drawer and takes something of yours without your permission. They went home last night and I bet told BM how horrible I am. So I am waiting for her to call or text DH and let him have it because her kids are never in the wrong I always am and he needs to control me. DH got the luxury of spending another night intimacy free for not even trying to punish SD.
When will he learn?
Edited to say : this was suppose to post a few days ago but I had a posting problem and didn't realize that Dawn had already fixed it.
It is the mid week dinner night with them again tonight oh joy.
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Comments
Oh man, I feel for you! My
Oh man, I feel for you! My SD15 stole clothes from me last year. I knew she did it, there was no other explanation for my things disappearing, but when I brought it up to DH, I was just the big fat jerk accusing his daughter because I don't like her. Whatever. Got my proof when she moved in with us last year for a couple of months and I went through her clothes and found 2 of my stolen shirts. Then she moved back with BM and we confiscated her IPHONE and found pics of the rest of my stolen clothes on her phone where she was trying to sell them on Craigs list.
What does my DH say about this? "You still don't know that she stole them, she might have taken them by mistake." Whatever, he knows that she stole them, I know she stole them, SHE knows she stole them. Well, that little game works both ways, because since she has moved in with us yet again a couple of months ago, I have made sure that some of her clothes have mistakenly vanished into thin air.
Hold strong on your punishments, don't let your DH or BM wear you down.. that's been my biggest mistake over the years
I just dont understand how
I just dont understand how these parent let their kids lie straight to their faces and just ignore it. The kid was WEARING the makeup she took!!! And dad just shruggs his shoulders and says oh well I guess we will never know for sure?!?!
To me the make up thing was relatively minor...still required a consequence, but minor. The lying to your face however would get my full wrath brought down soon her. I can't stand liers.
But I'm sure if the skids got
But I'm sure if the skids got into DH's shaving cream or something of HIS it would be a whole different ball game!!! It's "ok" when its "just SM" and her stuff/hair etc but when it hits home for THEM God help us all! SMH. Sooo fed up with these guilty, Disney dads and their demons!!!
Wow...if my Skid cut my hair,
Wow...if my Skid cut my hair, I would consider that abuse and I would leave with no words said. Sounds like to me your husband doesn't have any ***** to defend or stand up for you.
It's my opinion, I guess that if people are really unhappy in your marriage because the skids are a-holes, then you need to go and be happy somewhere else or fight it out. I guess I'm not one to sit back and take anything because I hold people accountable for their behavior. When I screw up, I apologize for my screw up. However, I see others having to say they are sorry or whatever.
It seems to me that BM and her ex/your DH have taught their children to be liars. I guarantee you, if that happened to my kids, there would be tanned butts, grounding, and Goddess knows whatever else would happen to them. I don't put up with that and grounding your husband shouldn't happen. He should be told right then and there to get a grip on his kids or you will!!
No way I would be taking this
No way I would be taking this as well as you are...Cutting my hair would be a lot to take and still stay. On top of that he is barely punishing them....Curious why you are staying...
I don't see this as case to
I don't see this as case to end my mariage. I am very upset by it and will be for a while but I won't end my marriage over it.
I would have gone Kali on
I would have gone Kali on their asses before dh had a chance to stop me and I wouldn't leave a mark. They would have been in time out and toys confiscated so fast it would make DH's head spin.
Sgson5 was twirling his stick horse around, told him to stop repeatedly, he hits me in the head, I jump up, scoop him up put him in time out spot and the stick horse was in the garage before he could finish saying I'm sorry nana!
Scared him and hasn't tossed or swung things in the house since. He swears nana grew ten feet and sprouted horns that day.
@ ITS-OVER... I love your tag
@ ITS-OVER...
I love your tag line lol
I just wanted to tweak it a little for fun...
Men don't listen...because penises don't have ears. }:)
I would flip out if my skids
I would flip out if my skids cut my hair, and my kids would have another thing coming if they ever behaved like this. A couple of weeks ago, my SD went into my bathroom closet (BathR is in our room, we have two others - - kids are not permitted to enter unless invited, it's my safe spot on skid weekends, for the very reason I will explain), so, SD took down a box of my nail polish (after I had already asked to stay out of our room and out of the closet 3 times that morning), took the box outside to our deck and proceeded to empty approximately $250 worth of nail polish all over our patio table and deck. SD walks into our house hands and arms covered in polish:
Me: SD, whats going on right now?
SD:......
Me: Purple honey, purple...(FDH and I have a code "purple" when something is not quite right, we need to become more alert to something happening, or we need to step away from children to discuss what the plan is)
We walk out to the deck to see all of this horrible mess....
FDH: *smiles - looks at his daughter* you....youre silly
Me: *thinking - - wtf is happening?* Purple!
and a conversation ensues about his obviously inappropriate response to undesired behavior, and as we all know, nail polish is pretty permanent on things like wood and painted metal, not to mention taking things that she had already been told several time not to touch.
He ended up giving her a timeout for 5 minutes. I didn't choose to fight that battle with at that time, I was just so mad. Nail polish art still remains all over the table and deck, remover takes the pain off of the finished metal.
I really would have shaved
I really would have shaved their heads for that incident. And I wouldn't have cared one bit what BM said as you know she was laughing over it and maybe even gave them the idea.
And maybe make them wear a sign saying "I am an evil brat".
Your hair cutting incident
Your hair cutting incident reminds me of the time my SD put fingernail polish remover in my leave in conditioner. Let me tell you, my hair just snapped off while I blow dried it and the pieces that didn't break turned a bright funky orange color.
Good for you, OP! those kids
Good for you, OP! those kids need to suffer, your husband needs to suffer. In my opinion they all should suffer for as long as it takes for your hair to get back to its original length. No tv for anyone, no sweets, no intimacy or affection. Your DH and the kids need to learn to start taking you seriously.
But really glad to see you standing up for yourself!
I love your response...
I love your response... Grounding dad is perfect & absolutely proportional to the incident.