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Would you let this happen? Kind of long.

Willow2010's picture

Really DH? I am going to rehash a conversation that DH and I had last night and we are both still a little ticked about. But I have to preface it with two facts.

First fact…25 years ago…DHs moms side of the family had a reunion and they took a big family picture. DH was of course not there, so his mom held a big picture of him when they took the reunion picture.

Second fact…it is close to my parents 50th wedding anniversary. We are planning on taking family picture.

Last night conversation…
DH: When we take picture with your parents I want to be on the end so I can hold up a big picture of SS. (SS is in the military for now)

Me: UMMM…don’t take this the wrong way, but I would rather you not.
DH: Well why not!?

ME: This is a picture for my parents. There is no reason for you to be holding a big picture of SS in my parents 50th wedding anniversary picture. This is about my parents. If you are standing off to the side, holding a big picture of SS, then the family picture will end up being about SS.

DH: But when I was in the military, my mom held up a picture of me at a family reunion picture.

ME: And that is awesome…but that is YOUR mom. This is MY mom and I want this family picture to be about MY mom and dad. NOT ABOUT SS.

DH: Can I ask your mom if I can hold up the picture of SS in their anniversary picture? I will be on the end so I won’t cover anyone’s face.

ME: (getting pissed). NO…my mom is too nice to tell you NO. If you really want SS to be in the picture, pin a wallet size picture of SS to your shirt. That way he is in the anniversary picture and it won’t be so overwhelming like if you were holding an 11x18 portrait of SS.

DH: But then no one could really see him.

ME (pissed) This anniversary picture is NOT about SS!!

DH: Ok…I kind of get it.

HE SO DOES NOT GET IT. I would never, never never, want to hold up a pic of my kids if his family was taking a family picture. GAH!

Comments

Onefootout's picture

I've never even heard of this. It makes for an awkward picture IMO, but each to their own. Hey! Maybe you could submit his family reunion picture to the awkward family photo website! Wink

He doesn't have to get it. He just has to respect your wishes. Not disregard them and go above your head and ask your mom.

I'd handle the same way. Anytime you have someone holding up a big photo of someone that whole photo becomes about that awkward large photo of the missing family member.

I'd handle it the same.

Willow2010's picture

LOL!!

Willow2010's picture

DH has always tried to make things about SS. Mainly when he was UNDER 18.

This kind of took me by surprise and it kind of did not.

DH knows better than to go behind my back to my mom. He knows I will have an episode and he does not like my episodes. LOL!

And even if he did...my mom might actually tell him no. She has waited A LONG time to get a group picture. She is not going to want DH in it holding a giant ass picture of a man she really does not know that well.

PeanutandSons's picture

I find it weird....but my aunt used to do this. She had 4 kids and whenever one wasn't present for a family snapshot she would hold a framed picture of the missing kid. To each their own I guess.

But....this is NOT your dhs picture. It is not a picture for him of his family. It is a photo for your parents of their family. I don't k ow how close they were to SS, or if they consider him a grandchild...but I don't see it as appropriate. I'm sure that there are going to be many actual blood grandchildren and other relatives that can't make it....are they all going to have a framed portrait in the picture? I seriously doubt it.

Completely not appropriate to even ask.

Willow2010's picture

The thing is...I really think that DH would think the Wong family would want SS in their family picture. lol

Drac0's picture

To be honest, I am not so keen on the idea of taking a photo of a photo no matter what the occasion.

It’s like making a photocopy of a photocopy. A lot of details go missing. As the years go by, you might be stuck having to explain this photo within a photo.

“Yeah, here is my family picture with my DH at the end holding up a picture of….uh…Big Foot I think?”

Willow2010's picture

As the years go by, you might be stuck having to explain this photo within a photo.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

That is actually my main point. This is exactly what would happen to MY parents anniversary picture.

I think DH is seeing my point better now. At least I hope so. This is a hill I would die on.

ConfusedStep's picture

WTF?

ConfusedStep's picture

Do you think he really got the message? He wouldn't try to just do it anyway, would he?

He was really out of line - let's hope the matter is fully put to rest in his mind.