Your kids are smart enough to realize that those people have never been there for them. My DH has tried so hard for years to be a part of his daughters life, with the BM constantly telling SD that he doesn't love her or doesn't want to be her dad just because they got divorced. She'll refuse phone calls weekly and not show up for visits, and fought the process of making a custody agreement for 5 years after their divorce. The BD and SD in your situation have never shown an interest in being there for your children, why would they think they could fool them into thinking they actually care now? They want to do absolutely nothing to raise the children most of their lives, yet want to be there to brag on them when they graduate? With evil people like that, it's always someone else to blame. My DH is vilified even though her did everything her could to be a good dad, and you are vilified for being a good mom, all because the people on the other side know how badly they f**ked up as parents!

Don't let it get to you, you showed the kids what a loving parent looks like.

I'm in a similiar boat Apparently it is MY job to be sure the x-fam sees MY kids. Yes, my kids, because once upon a time even when he was there, he wasnt there and then he decided the grass was greener elsewhere and went even further the opposite direction being a positive contributor, influencer, role model, etc... The 19yr old could care less about his existence, I'm not sure why the 17yr old gets so defensive about her dad - she has to have realized from then til now how little we did, spent, lived etc before they started finally just taking it from him ($25K+ in the hole to the 3 of them btw) and the 6yr old doesn't know him well enough to be indifferent or otherwise about him. She knows he's her daddy but not that warm fuzzy like the 17yr old and I don't trash talk out loud. They all grasp the struggle and now can't fathom being grateful for it and the turnaround in our lives for the so much better. One day.............

I agree that there may be some BM's are fairly decent people. What I don't understand is why some BM's feel the need to try to destroy a good, responsible dad. Example.... My DH has never been late on child support payments. He is always on time when picking the kids up and dropping them off, accomodates switching weekends,coached the boys little league teams, takes the kids extra days..etc.. The ex complains that he is useless and does not give enough money. He doesn't bother or harass her- but she feels the need to treat him like crap. If we want to go on vacation and take the kids she complains that the money should go to her for extra help... but yet she can take the kids on vacation or go to Vegas several times a year. It is a double standard.

I am SM and also a BM. I don't bother my ex or his new wife. I NEVER Talk to them because my bio kids are adults and in college.

So I don't understand why some BM's feel entitled to be given the whole world and the Ex- husband must suffer for crimes he doesn't commit and when the marriage ended due to the BM's own stupidity.

We've been back to court too many times just because they want to make sure he still has his job?!?!?!? Not if you keep dragging us in here he won't and me either (not true really my job is quite flexible) but his not so much. I find that it is the state/county's fault's for not garnishing his checks in the beginning of this crap for him to be this far behind. Instead counted on him to pay, stay employed, inform them of changes etc... I divorced him because he wouldn't follow through with his filing years before I think it was a money thing - make me pay for the attorney and he was just going to chime in kind of thing. Anyway, I found one who doens't make me feel bad about myself and loves to go and about with me and my kiddos and is not perfect but I like him just the way he is